𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐨𝐟 𝐌𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 ... 𝐉. 𝐊𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐢

"Meditation is one of the most extraordinary things, and if you do not know what it is you are like a blind person in a world of bright color, shadows, and moving light.

"It is not an intellectual affair; when the heart enters into the mind, the mind has quite a different quality: it is then really limitless, not only in its capacity to think, to act efficiently; but also in its sense of living in a vast space where you are part of everything.

"Meditation is the movement of love...

"This meditation cannot be learned from another. You must begin without knowing anything about it, and move from innocence to innocence.

"The soil in which the meditative mind can begin is the soil of everyday life; the strife, the pain, and the fleeting joy. It must begin there, and bring order, and from there move endlessly ... 

"You must take a plunge into the water, not knowing how to swim. And the beauty of meditation is that you never know where you are, where you are going, what the end is."

J. Krishnamurti
Excerpt from Meditations, 1969

𝐑𝐮𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐅𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐧 𝐌𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐋𝐚𝐯𝐫𝐨𝐯 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐔𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐍𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐥𝐲 ... 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐒𝐄𝐄

 

𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐮𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐝. 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞? 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐲 𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐬?

To listen to this in a video ... CLICK: 

Never let your government tell you 

who your enemies are. 

From Caitlin Johnstone

It’s not the fault of middle eastern people that they live on top of a bunch of oil near crucial trade routes in a region which bridges three continents. And that’s all this has ever been about. Not fighting “terrorism”. Not spreading freedom and democracy. Not even protecting Israel. It’s ultimately about controlling what happens in a geostrategically crucial and resource-rich stretch of land.

The people who live in that part of the world never did you any harm. They pose no threat to you. You’re only being told to hate them because the world’s most powerful people need to dominate west Asia in order to dominate the planet, and they need to inflict immense amounts of violence in order to do so. That’s all this is.

Our rulers use all kinds of narratives from all around the world and across the political spectrum to justify their actions. They’ll use Zionism, Christian fundamentalism, Islamic fundamentalism, Hindu fundamentalism, liberalism, conservatism, nationalism or woke identity politics to manufacture consent for their agendas wherever needed. They’ll feed you whatever lines you need to hear in order to dupe you into thinking that disobedient populations in the middle east need military explosives dropped on them. That’s all they care about.

Our rulers use their propagandists in the mainstream news media and their narrative managers in Silicon Valley to manipulate public perception toward these murderous agendas using half-truths, lies by omission, distortions, misleading headlines, reversing the victim and the aggressor, starting the timeline of events at convenient points, and uncritically repeating unproven allegations from untrustworthy sources. These manipulators are as critical to the operation of the imperial war machine as the actual people who drop the bombs.

What kind of groveling, slobbering bootlicker would play along with this? What kind of power-worshipping empire simp would consent to murder and abuse at mass scale against people who pose no threat to them whatsoever, just because the people in charge told them to feel that way? What a pathetic, profoundly undignified way to exist.

They work so hard to manufacture our consent for these atrocities because they absolutely require our consent. So don’t give it to them. When all is said and done our rulers are at all times acutely aware of the fact that there are a whole lot more of us than there are of them, and that we could very easily turn around and eat them all if we got it into our heads that that would be a good thing to do. Hold fast to your power, refuse to be taken in by their manipulations, and help wake everyone up to the fact that we are being continuously deceived into compliance, confusion and powerlessness by murderous psychopaths who want to rule the world.

Our real enemies are not in Iran.

Our real enemies are not in Lebanon.

Our real enemies are not in Gaza or the West Bank.

Our real enemies are not in Yemen, Syria, or Iraq.

Our real enemies are in Washington and London and Tel Aviv. In Berlin and Paris and Canberra. In secretive government agencies in the state of Virginia, and in imperial propaganda institutions in New York and Hollywood.

Our real enemies are not the Arabs and the Iranians, they’re the managers of empire who are ruining our world, destroying our biosphere, siphoning our wealth and our resources, threatening us with nuclear brinkmanship, and making sure we stay too poor, sick, busy and brainwashed to figure out what’s going on and take a stand against them.

Don’t let them dupe you into believing otherwise. Fight against their manipulations, and oppose their abuses. We healthy human beings can absolutely win this thing, but even if we don’t, at the very least we can prevent them from stealing our dignity and manipulating us into cheering for their depravity.

𝐁𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝 𝐓𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 .... 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐡, 𝐟𝐮𝐞𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐣𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐲.

 

When people become acquainted with the unconscious they often get into an extraordinary state—they flare up, they explode, old buried emotions come up, they begin to weep about things which happened forty years ago.

That simply means that they were prematurely detached from that stage of life; they have forgotten that there are buried fires still burning. Then they were unconscious, but when they touch the lower centers, they get back into that world and become aware that it is still hot, like a fire that has been left forgotten under the ashes.

But take away the ashes and there are still the glowing embers underneath, as it is said of pilgrims going to Mecca: they leave their fires buried under the ashes, and when they return the following year the embers are still glowing.

— Carl Jung

And, from Lance Kelly ...

The Surrender of Self

The self, which is the mind and emotional body, is a mass of psychic force until transformed through living as a more conscious being in the world. In the normal mode of living, the self doesn’t need to exert unnecessary energy beyond its vital needs, which it extracts from its host body – the person. This it does through the fluctuating emotional reactions that are typical symptoms of unconscious living. But when someone begins to take command of their inner kingdom (which is when the focus of intelligence turns inward), the self no longer has things its own way as before. Startled by the sudden intrusion from the light of consciousness on its dark underworld, the self withdraws a little deeper from conscious scrutiny. In this temporary vacuum there is then an inrush of enlightened energy, which is characteristic of a spiritual awakening. But it’s not long before the self returns to regain its lost ground within the subconscious space of the psyche.

As the spiritual process unfolds and the individual perseveres in overcoming the insidious nature of the self, more ground is made through the purification of the inner space. The consequences for the self, in no longer having the freedom as before to influence the life, is that it becomes more troublesome than before. The entity of pain must now exert more forceful energy to sustain its presence in existence. Unbeknown to the self (since it has no knowledge beyond what’s been experienced in time) its body has now been reduced in mass, amplifying its presence as extreme discomfort and pain. In a desperate attempt for attention to experience itself, the core of self begins to consume its energetic body; the intense pressure being registered is the self dying and not the purity of the man or woman.

The suffering must be borne without self-judgement or trying to understand why it’s happening. This is spiritual humility and a selfless offering to the Most High. It’s to be valiant and one-pointed in the devotion to a higher love. The self is being made to capitulate but will resist all the way when it feels its power is being weakened. With perseverance, the self eventually yields and kneels before the altar of the Lord: the absence of all knowing that is the reality of God. This obliterates the final taint of self as the total surrender to the Divine Being that sustains life everlasting.

Finally the self, having been eroded by the unrelenting light of the spirit, has been transformed of its defiant nature. This coincides with the realisation of the state of immortality. The self has not died but is now aligned with the one good and serves life at the behest of the Divine Will. The task is then to bring the knowledge of the spiritual realisation into the world through the living life. Only in the harsh material environment of the western global society can the truth of existence be validated as a completion of a particular phase of the spiritual process.

‘𝐈𝐂𝐇𝐈 𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐈’ 𝐏𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐄 - 𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐍 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐃𝐀 𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐇𝐈

- TANGEN HARADA ROSHI

‘ICHI TANTEI’ PRACTICE

Perhaps you wonder if we do zazen in pursuit of that which we most want. No, we do not. Doing zazen is Buddha. Doing zazen is already the full expression of buddha nature.

We are quickly caught up in the form of things, readily pulled in by what others have to say. This is such that if you are told, “Hey, doing zazen is Buddha”, you might readily respond, “Yes, doing zazen is Buddha, isn’t it?”
In that case, I will have to say, “No, you are wrong.”

It is interesting to observe what a great discrepancy there is between theoretical understanding and truth itself. Take a dumpling, for example. Without actually sampling it, any explanation, regardless of how thorough, would give only a rough idea of the flavor of that dumpling, but never its essential taste. Without actually chewing it, you cannot know its actual flavor. Depending on what we are eating, our individual way of tasting it may differ, I suppose, but the fact of having really experienced the taste is the same with everyone, isn’t it?

The reality of really tasting that dumpling is about the same regardless of whether you are eating it for the first time or if you are an old hand at eating dumplings. Zen is just like this. From the first time you sit, you can fully experience the flavor of Zen.

We have the expression, ‘ichi tantei’. NOW. NOW. This is ‘ichi tantei’. A teacher is one who clearly reveals this to the student. “Reality is not off someplace else, away from right now and here. NOW. HERE. Don’t be careless. Don’t be off guard.” The teacher points out the path, the direct route, in the way most appropriate to each student. With this direction, the student can truly practice the most treasured, straight path.

To maintain this spirit of practice, the student single-mindedly works to make the ‘tantei’ constant so that everything is his daily life becomes this practice, this research into his true identity; everything becomes zazen. This is truly being alive.

When one settles into this ‘ichi tantei’, regardless of the job he has to do in this world, his efficiency increases manifold. This is because his practice becomes doing solely whatever he is doing, so that distractions do not arise. Therefore, in whatever circumstance he may find himself, his efficiency is increased.

It is such that he even comes to wonder how it is this world is taking such good care of him. Living in truth like this is wonderful!

Big mind, joyful mind, parental mind.

Completely enveloped in and succored by the whole universe, you are like the mountains, like the seas, like the great sky which knows no limits. This great, big boundlessness is your own mind, ‘Big Mind’. To awaken to this Big Mind, just do whatever it is you are doing right this moment with your whole heart. If you do with all your might, this world will, without fail, reveal itself to you. This hard little lump of ‘self’ will dissolve, and you will inevitably awaken to Big Mind.

‘Joyful Mind’ is the mind that cannot help but feel gratitude. It is not that you feel thankful because you are supposed to feel thankful, but rather that you cannot help but feel thankful. You feel so much gratitude that it spills over as joy.

And then from that boundless joy, kindness arises, kindness which is born from thoroughly exhausting all of one’s small self and merging to become one with others. This is ‘Parental Mind’.

When Big Mind, Joyful Mind, and Parental Mind come together as one body, just this in itself is Bodhisattva Mind.

No matter how much you study, how many books you read or how much theory you learn, this kind of knowledge can only be an aid, but never the driving force, toward peace of mind. And actually, if one is not careful, theoretical exercise can even be an obstacle. The important thing is to let go of mind and body and take refuge in truth itself. It is a matter of permitting yourself, all you can, to recognize truth, to sincerely live in the now, here which IS your life.

If you see only the differences between yourself and others, you feel easily irritated, overly sensitive. If you’re out to take care of just your own little self, guard your own little castle, protect your own separate existence in whatever way you can, it’ll all eventually just go under anyway, won’t it? So go back to the starting point, return to your true home, the home which is the same for every single being in this world. I want to see you awaken to your true self.

When Big Mind, Joyful Mind, and Parental Mind come together as one body, just this in itself is Bodhisattva Mind.

𝐀𝐈 𝐈𝐬 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐏𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐓𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐁𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐥

 

It seems from the news reporting that we are rushing headlong into the world of artificial intelligence. AI. Like kids with a new toy. Playing in the street. Parents admonishing us to be careful. Who said, "How ya' gonna keep 'em down on the farm after they've seen Paree"? Kids can sometimes end run the Old Folks and sneak out the bedroom window. Shit happens.

Guardrails and guidelines we'll have. Plenty. Endless potential for argument and discussion right there. Maybe we'll use AI itself to come up with the rules? 

Even with the best of intentions, some malevolent asshole will find a way around. Even, a well-intentioned one too. Oh, you say, what's the difference? Since Adam and Eve decided back there in the Garden that they could do it themselves, study your history. Blind leading the blind. Mishap upon mishap. Oh, we have progress. Smartphones are a thing now. Hot water on tap is great. Like we're becoming so strapped to our devices, imagine how strapped we'll be when AI is there to always and in every way tell us what is the best thing to do? Heck, why not go all the way, and just plug in and be a robot acting at the will of a god-like intelligence. 

And, let's not even go into how Human error, regardless of good or bad intentions inevitably shows up in the mix. Unintended consequences. Failure to see down the road. If you're inclined to see a Nation of Sheep now, AI will be the slaughterhouse. AI and robots will make life a dream. Work? Does anyone even remember what that is?

Oh, sure, there are clearly benefits. Speedy access to information. Purchasing streamlining. MD makes housecalls right through your smartphone. Whatever you can imagine. 

But, inspiration and virtue. Not so much. If any, at all.

If you want to know the future, just extrapolate what's so and what's happening to its logical end point. Not to change the subject, but the wars going on now should give us a clue about what could easily be in our future. We always have the option to choose again. So choose. What kind of world do you choose to live in? Then, start living into it. You want peace? Become peaceful. Not like some politician, serving up just lip service to being peaceful. Real soulful peaceful. It is our birthright after all. 

How? Turn inside. Get acquainted with what's there. In fact, the truth is that meditating like that will give you access to the wellspring of creativity and knowledge. Makes AI look like the slutty pussy it really is. Don't get me wrong. A little strange is always appealing. But, as a regular feature of life, that stinks. No pun intended. Not.

Oh, you say, we have God on our side. The better question is, do we have God on our inside. Like a living relationship. Or, or is our best take on a higher power artificial intelligence? Just another Apple for Adam and Eve to chew on. Funny, huh? "Apple." [BTW I hear the new iphone is the shizz. With Apple Intelligence. The battle for AI dominance among the purveyors is on. Beta vs. VHS vs. CD vs. Steaming; you may recall.]   

You might guess the point. The antidote to AI is religion. Which one? Your choice. Like Pope Francis has stated, they all lead to God. If you don't wanna do religion, make generating loving compassion in your own heart your "religion". Come to think of it, if generating loving compassion isn't part of a religion, then that ain't no religion. 

The promise of AI seems to be based on the idea that information, and the right information put together in the right way will be our salvation. Or, at least it'll be a good way to make a buck. And, don't you know, keep the powerful in power. Global mass population management is what I would call it. Propaganda. Narrative control. 

So imagine a Brave New World where Alexa and those other smart machine bitches not only have all the answers, but know you and me down to such a granular level that they'll know what's good for us; what's best for us. Then we can be corralled into relying on them unquestioningly. Brave New World indeed. Did you think 1984 was gonna show up just like in the book.

Or, how about this. "Alexa, send a nice complimentary note to so-and-so thanking them for the wonderful dinner party last night." Alexa: "Done." How easy and convenient was that. It get you out of the rut of emoji's and heart icons in your text messages. Adds that creative flair. And, best of all, you don't need to really communicate personally. Pretty soon the whole social fabric can be managed by AI and all's we hoi polloi have to do is build popsicle stick lampshades and solve paper puzzles. Or, your choice, whatever distraction you prefer which helps while away the hours.

I have to add here amid all this pessimism that the human spirit is in the end indominable. Waking up in our own time, in our own way. There is Truth. Not for me to say; or you. Or, anyone. The truth that can be told is not the Truth. The mark of Truth is that it is self-evident. Not by my say so; or yours. Or someone else's. Just so. That.

Like in the above cartoon. Heck, Alexa will know if you want more salt already so you won't even have to ask. And, since we want to be healthy, how much Sodium, if you can have any at all. Maybe mix in a robot or two, and the wife won't even have to lift a finger. 

Really consider the prospect. Then factor in the tendency to invest huge amounts of energy and cash in how the narrative the populace is living in is manufactured. I don't trust that any sets of guidelines and guardrails will keep greedy, power-hungry assholes from using AI for their own purposes. And — OY! — that some of the best intentioned will see the opportunity to see to it that their best intentions will cloak us all in their best intentioned embrace. Pols already are pretty good at that. But, with AI mixed into the mix, the world is your Oyster. And, as easy to gobble up too. Press of a button. Problem solved. The masters of the future will be the nerds who developed AI from the start. Like electronic behind the curtain wizards, playing the tune we all dance to on their keyboards.

But, big BUT ... who defines the problem, and who defines the solution? AI is a machine. Someone's got to give it its marching orders. And, if you think that AI will somehow sort it all out in its smart-as-all-fuck wonderfulness, just remember that the foundation is man-made. What could go wrong?

Like, somewhere in all that computational power some mofo or other had to put in the parameters. The basic definitions. Call it the "devil" if you want. Works out to the same thing, name aside. Don't they say, "The devil is in the details"? AI is all about details. Chew on that.

The interesting irony, in our time of global warming, now there's the need to solve the problem of the heating up due to all that computing chip power. So, what is really the progress? All us hoi polloi working to make a living shoveling coal into a raging furnace cooled down by the collected sweat of our brows? Nothing new there. Rise of the Machine. Don't say you weren't told.

If you've made it this far, then maybe there is something in this that resonates. Here's a read that adds immeasurably to the subject.

𝐎𝐧 𝐇𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐄𝐯𝐨𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 ...

 

In case you might have missed the point, the idea is that the thrust of Human evolution is in the direction of standing upright. Not what passes for standing in general population, however'; i.d., carrying a history of built up imblances and unaware of how that contributes to chonic pain and stress. And, that living in true balance according to the demands of Gravity is easily at hand. It's a choice. The potential in Human design is for a normal architectural arrangement in the makeup of the body which is in line with the simple demands of Gravity. Stacked up nicely in a straight vertical line, with everything level and even.

𝐎𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐡?

DILGO KHYENTSE RINPOCHE

Our suffering is proportional to the intensity of our attachment to the ego. In this world, someone who has suffered a serious mistake by someone will certainly think: "I am a victim of his criminal actions, I have to make him focaccia bread; he should be put to death, or at least imprisoned! May you pay every penny! "

If the victim succeeds in his undertaking, he will be considered an important and courageous person, right? We've been shot in the ego, and that's where the resentment comes from.

It is only when we finally make a firm resolution to this attachment (which has plunged us in suffering since ages) that we can say we are on the path of [ellumination, enlightenment].

𝐔𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐎𝐮𝐫 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬 ...

 

𝐇𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐋𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡 ...

 

It's tough to find parking in their lot. You have to keep driving around and around until a spot opens up. 

It's worth the effort. The chow is delicious. Ambiance, dark and plush.

Then there's another situation altogether ...

𝐌𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐓𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐲 𝐌𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐬 ...

Memories of my Rolfing Teacher Stacey Mills ...

Some background ...

In 1981 I changed careers. From a 12 year stint as an Ad Biggie on Mad Ave to Certified Rolfer; within a year's time. Quite a change, no? 

From a white collar field centered on visual and verbal parameters, to one based on manual labor. And, most certainly, way more soul. In Rolfing the manual labor is used to help move the Human body from a place of random imbalance to one of balance in alignment with the force of Gravity. Literally, like sculpting living clay. Hands on.

Interesting that from a career in marketing communications I go into a brand new, widely unknown career path with the built in challenge to communicate its benefits. It's one thing to introduce a new shampoo, or a new food product; quite another to birth the never before heard of; not just the identity "Rolfing", but the idea upon which it is based.

It's a clear moment when you realize your daily career activity will be putting your hands directly on people. As I said, especially when the previous career was all mental. But, with some nice lunches thrown in I will admit.

It did help that I had graduated with a bachelor's in Human Biology. My first academic love. 

At the time my career in advertising ended — I had a moment of honesty with myself and admitted that I didn't want to be that Can't Miss Top 10 World Class Mad Ave Ad Biggie no more. Everything changed around that one simple, clear admission; and fast — it seemed that the Universe had conspired to take me from a work centered on getting people to part with their cash to one of service and personal growth. "Rolfing!"

My Teacher Stacey Mills ...

Let me tell you about my Teacher, Stacey Mills. At the time she was the Grande Dame and Doyenne of the Rolfing community. A senior teacher at the Rolf Institute of Structural Integration which was headquartered in Boulder, Colorado. That's the school founded by the originator of Structural Integration, Dr. Ida P. Rolf. Now you know where "Rolfing" comes from.

Stacey was a Lady. Hair neatly coiffed close to the head. Just enough makeup; nails perfectly polished. Silk blouses. Simple, comfortable slacks. Precise, knowing, gentle touch. A cool, cool Scorpio. With a presence emanating depth and understanding. Very self contained, private. That's Scorpio. Funny, my ex-wife is a Scorpio and all the teachers in my training led by Stacey were also Scorpios. Kismet? Better behave around Scorpios ... stingers.

She was held in a kind of ga-ga high esteem in the Rolf community. It seemed a bit much, and that made me question it. My comment, "But, can she get down on all fours and bark like a dog?". I hope she could. But, the Lady was dignified and serious always. Wouldn't dare say that to her face.

Meeting Stacey ...

On the very first day of class in New York City I met Stacey Mills for the first time and presented her with a highly shined red Apple. She accepted it from me, without any trace of affect. Like you handed a mechanic a wrench needed for the job; or, a surgeon a scalpel. Whether my attempt at being endearing with my gesture of clever irony registered with her, who knows. I enjoyed it. It was a nice Apple. And, the class was in the Big Apple. 

Dancing with Stacey ...

Some of us called her "Spacey Stacey". Though she didn't talk about it, she was definitely one of those rare "psychic ladies". You know the kind who could read you deep into your karmic roots, with a library of study at her fingertips in the arcane; such as astrology, metaphysics, and other esoteric subjects. She had a knowing way. What she knew, who knows. 

About in the middle of the multi-week class schedule we all went to the Roseland Ballroom in Manhattan for an evening of dancing. I danced with Stacey. It was probably some bouncy pop tune and she was grooving to the vibes. Eyes closed, hands waving in the air; off in her own reverie. Like, we weren't grooving together. Just her. Perhaps in her own experince she was dancing with me, but it didn't seem that way to me. I stopped dancing ... cold. She opened her eyes and stopped too. It was abrupt. But, I too have dance in me. Not always groovy, but always in the groove. If you know what I mean. What do I mean? Believe me, I sure don't know. Who knows, I might have brought her back and saved her from floating off into the ethers.

Stacey's lecture assignments to the class ...

The Rolf Structural Integration format is taught as a 10 session process. Typically, a client comes once a week. I was given the class assignment to give a talk on the 6th session. I didn't know at the time what I knew. The 6th session I would characterize as having the theme, "Level". Remember, the main goal of the work is to balance the body — the whole Human being actually; but, you can get your hands on that body as a grounded surety — in respect to the dictates of Gravity. That means the segments of the body are stacked up easy on a simple vertical line. For that, things need to be symmetrical and level. It's at the point of the 6th session that things need to get level. The next session focuses on the upper head area, so you want to be sure there's a place to put a level head. Kapische?

My talk featured emphasis on "vectors". Tensional imbalances in the fabric of the body that pull away from the central vertical. It's a whole thing to discuss what that's about; suffice to say that we accumulate the slings and arrows of living and store them in the body. Insufficient learning, bad habits, accidents, traumas, modelling after our significant others; like that.

After I gave my talk I saw Stacey raise her eyebrows. Maybe with some eyes, like you make when you have a reaction to something. What her reaction was, who knows. Inscrutable as she was. I don't think it was a response to my brilliance. After several decades in this craft I look back and in fact see the truth of it. But then, I was stabbing a bit in the dark with my concept. My take at the time was her response had something to do with how full of shit I was. Or, maybe — mirabile dictu — it was over her head? Our teachers sometimes can seem to be as gods. But, like any good teacher knows, your students teach you too. Maybe she was amazed at my brilliance after all?

If that transaction left me with anything, it was what Stacey would say to me at the end of my training. In essence, some things are better left unanswered. So, I'll let go wondering about how she took it. Like I said, those Scorpios don't seem to show their cards much. 

Graduation dinner ...

At the successful end of the training the students and the teachers got together for a dinner party. At the assistant teacher Rosemary Feitis' sprawling Upper West Side West End Avenue apartment. 

Stacey prepared the meal. Braised Pig Feet. A kulinary koan if ever there was one. Pig's feet? Huh? Truth be told, I thoroughly enjoyed the meal. What, if anything the others at the table thought of it, I don't know. We didn't gossip about things after the fact. But, as you would think, a celebratory dinner with Pig's feet? Not exactly the first thing that comes to mind planning for such an event. As was usual for me, it did cause me to wonder whether there was some message buried in that stew. And, back to the main lesson. Let the question go. I didn't have a sense of relationship enough with Stacey to ask her what she was thinking. Simply remember a delicious dish.

The class party ...

We had the class party at Anatomy Teacher Louis Schulz's apartment in the Village. Teachers, students, class models, friends and family. 

Stacey gifted the newly certified Rolfers T-shirts with

tiger and zebra stripes printed on the full fronts. I imagined the image could be interpreted as a finger print. The hand of God? Maybe. Who knows.

At the time somehow I was taken with making jewelry with brass safety pins. There were six students in the class. I affixed six small pins to one larger and made it into a decoration you could wear as jewelry. I told Stacey it was a puzzle [six students, one teacher]. She replied, "Some puzzles aren't meant to be solved". Another teaching moment, for sure. Swaha! Let it go!

As I said, Stacey dressed well. Stylish, but not too showy; quality choices. At the party she wore a black velvet cat suit, with large red roses dotting here and there. On her backside a very large full bloom red rose covered the entirety. Not to be missed. What that was all about, again, who knows. Stacey at the time was a woman of a certain age. I think she still had it going on. But, I wasn't inclined to open that trick box. My own psychic chops hadn't yet been cooked enough to suss that puzzlement. To this day, can't say.

My cry for help ...

Early in my Rolfing career it wasn't going swimmingly. All my own bridges were burned, and the friends and colleagues from my previous life weren't exactly the sort that would embrace something as radically new as Rolfing. So much for creativity in the so-called creative world of Advertising. Geez! Much less, that all of them didn't embrace me much to begin with. Not much fertile soil in my section of the farm. Mostly rocks to be cleared. Like I said, this career has a lot to do with personal development. When life gives you karmic rocks you learn to rock your karma. I'm still at it. Thankfully, now. Back then, it was a difficult challenge.

I called Stacey on the telephone to make contact. Not sure what I wanted, or how to even express it. When she answered and I identified myself she asked, "What can I do for you?". A little stunned at the directness and flatness of how she put it, I said, "I just wanted to tell you I love you". I don't recall what, if any, response she had to that. It did seem to soften my sense of relationship with her, however.

A Rolf Institute annual meeting ...

A few years into my career as a Rolfer I attended a workshop at the school in Boulder, Colorado. Followed by a big party at the conclusion of the membership annual meeting. Afterward Stacey thanked me "for sharing myself". 

Lovely acknowledgment. Thank you. And bless you.

Our last time together, planetary-wise ...

In her last years Stacey Mills lived in an assisted living community in New Jersey. She probably would have been medically diagnosed with dementia. We visited. I was eager to show her the piece I had written for prospective clients. No purchase on that. She seemed to be on some other plane. "Spacey Stacey." We took a walk together around the sprawling facility. At one point we got lost. She said "You are going to embarrass yourself", going off like we were in the wrong direction in the maze of corridors at the facility. I said nothing. Knowing that just being there was all there was ... and, being there with her. 

Concluding thoughts ...

Sometimes I can see Stacey looking through my eyes. I hope she enjoys the view. Who knows. Not for me to concern about her experience. But, my own. Knowing and trusting that that will please my Teacher.

PS There emerged in this recollection a theme. Not knowing. There was so much about Stacey Mills which to me was inscrutable. As I have matured it is dawning on me that not knowing is the true condition. That we confuse and complicate in our quest for so-called understanding. Yet, in not knowing, we can look at a situation in the present moment with fresh, unfiltered eyes. And trust in our ability to respond appropriately and effectively. To be responsible. That's what the field of Rolf Structural Integration is all about. Learning to live in a healthy balance, a balance based on the universal principal of the Law of Gravity. Appropriate. Responsible ... able to respond.

Some Teacher, huh?