Wronskula

Of course everyone is familiar with the role of Dracula so famously interpreted by Bella Lugosi. Before Bella's Dracula, there was Uncle Frankie Wronski's Wronskula.

Frankie created the mold for the character which, in his words, "That hunky bit player sonofabitch Lugosi stole [it] from me." Historically, and factually, the real Vlad the Impaler was just some sociopathic mofo with too much adrenaline and time on his hands further complicated by an overly developed sense of entitlement. Frankie brought in the mystery; Lugosi, the larceny (if you believe Uncle about the part being usurped from him).

Nevertheless, Uncle Frankie lived the part. Bats, high ceilings, pretty pale-skinned beauties waiting on him hand and foot. He also preferred the night time hours. He wasn't a real vampire; he had some crazy penchant for siphoning gasoline, and the cover of darkness suited his purposes better. We can't explain it. We suspect the gas vapors bent his personality just a little. More that a little, if you ask his wife Pórcia La Pórtanté Vera Escabesh De Portagó Eflóreñcé Güñderson (the name is unpronounceable; aka, Trixy), the Carioca beauty queen and Cachaça heiress with the "South American Way."

I know this sounds ridiculous; but, hey, that's the way the Wronski wrambles. I didn't invent this stuff, folks. It's in the genes. Sort of like how you can tell a female chromosome from a male chromosome. You pull down their genes.

Always be closing and always leave them laughing. That may have been Uncle Frankie's problem. Even his Wronskula was too gloomy and grim for the movie-going audience. As you watch this clip, just amp it up by a factor of ten and you'll have a taste of Uncle Frankie as Wronskula. To put a point on it, Frankie was a pisser.

But, beware. One taste . . . may not be enough.   

See all the other Wronski's by going to the sidebar "Oh! Wronski / All My Relations". 

Or, for the full bore hystericory CLICK to go to this page.