Dear Mr. Garrison Keillor,

You’re funny.

Perhaps you remember when we last spoke? You were living in New York City at the time and, one balmy summer evening — it was on Broadway on the Upper West Side of Manhattan — as you were coming out of a Korean grocery, I introduced myself and proffered my business card, suggesting you look into Structural Integration. It has something to do with getting one’s body in balance with gravity.

I realize that it was perhaps forward of me to importune my agenda on you; but, how is that different than you going on the radio with your own two cents? One tunes in or doesn’t. And, for a while with me, you did.

As you I’m sure remember I suggested that you look into the benefit of getting your body in balance for yourself. The method I practice is called Structural Integration. You may have first heard of it as Rolfing®. (Dr. Ida Rolf developed the work and subsequently it was nicknamed “Rolfing.” That term is now a registered service mark of the Rolf Institute of Structural Integration.) You said that you knew some folks in California who had been Rolfed and that because they were so laid back you were “afraid that [if I did that too] I might not be funny” [any more]. 

As if!

What you said (or were you just trying to be funny?) stuck with me. I’ll bet if you checked in with those mellow fellows on the West Coast you’d most likely find the reason for their altered state to be certain recreational substances once de rigeur out in those parts.

I think there was more to your comment, however. In short, why change a good thing? Your shtick is working for you. Don’t mess with success. And I would certainly agree with that. For the record let me say that I am a long time fan of your radio show and would be the first to sing your praises for being one funny guy. Ha! Ha! Ho! Ho!

Sort of reminds me of those folks in Pisa and that tower they got. Don’t you know that if some wise guy came up to them and suggested that they straighten their little tourist attraction he’d be run out of town. If that thing got right it would become a footnote in history … ”Pisa, where a tower used to be crooked, now it’s straight.” End of story. Next? Leaning as it does makes for a better show, not to mention the multo lira.

So maybe that’s a little like you. Please know that I am not singling you out for ridicule. When you look for it you’ll see that most of us are out of balance in the physical makeup of our bodies. It’s so common, in fact, that it goes unnoticed. We take it to be who we are and may bristle at the suggestion that it should or could be otherwise. We certainly wouldn’t put up with it in our houses or automobiles. But we do, indeed, as far as our bodies are concerned. I personally think that we take how we are as given and overlook that a lot of what we take pride in as uniquely special about ourselves is nothing more than a set of patterns we’ve learned over time. Not all bad to be sure. But look around. Do you think that old guy with his walker started off like that? Do you think that he had a choice in the matter? He’s so accustomed to it the suggestion that he even now has some choice in the matter would seem preposterous to him.

So you think that if you were to get your body structure stacked up so that it would be unstressed, balanced, and effortlessly upright by being in line with the force of gravity you wouldn’t be funny? Maybe you’d be funnier! Or don’t you think that’s possible? Fact is, being in balance one discovers more freedom, more options. You are more spontaneous, less predictable. It is uncharted territory, however. Trust.

So, sir, the forgoing notwithstanding, I think you’re doing fine just the way you are. If, however, you decide to change the racket, maybe I’ve been able to sow a seed as to a direction … VERTICAL.

Next time you’re out my way, let’s grab a Pizza.

Best wishes,

David D. Wronski