Uncle Elaviesczhek D. Pelvischezek

Uncle Elaviesczhek D. Pelvischezek (Ed) in his prime. I know what you may be thinking, what a cheesy pun on Elvis The Pelvis. But, we can’t rewrite history. It’s not the Wronski way. He himself was not a Wronski, only associated by marriage; to Aunty Hipszwingcheska Wronska.

Aunty was a story herself, what with her cabaret career, and once a featured act at the Moulin Rouge. Not the famous one in Paris, but in Hamtramck, Michigan; the Riviera of the Midwest and home to many an expat Pole. It was love at first sight; they were married on a tug boat in New York harbor with fireworks. It is told that the Brooklyn and Williamsburg bridges were fully lined with well-wishers. The US Navy sent a flotilla. Surely, you’ve read about it?

Anyway, Uncle Elaviesczhek, Ed. He was a dancer by training and trade. If the pose looks familiar, it’s because he was for a time the dance coach and understudy for the real Elvis The Pelvis. The King, himself. So now you know where that guy got his bustin’ moves. Hairdo also. Alas, on looks, that’s were Elvis and Ed parted company.

If you think that this tale doesn’t hold water, you are free to call the Belle Isle (Detroit) Aquarium and ask to speak to Uncle yourself. He will be happy to answer all your questions. The facility as an aquarium no longer itself holds water. It closed in 2005 due to budget cuts (with a community advocacy working to reopen this historic “America’s Oldest Aquarium”.) Uncle Ed operates what is arguably the best fish and chips and pierogi stand in Detroit. It’s called "The King’s Stance" (?). Mention me and get a nice helping of kapusta on the house. So you will be like me as my mother used to say, “Your head is full of kapusta”. Sometimes, "Kapusta for brains". I'm not sure she was referring to the delicious Polish braised cabbage dish or to my eccentric, but lovably rich, Uncle Kapusta. Anyway, more about him some other time.

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