Argenon (Argy) Wronski was, not to put too fine a point on it and to come right to the point (which is what he himself would want to do—the point of his needle sharp hook, that is), a pirate. Think Jamaica, rum, booty, Booty, plunder, treasure, and Booty (regarding that last item, it is reputed that he had a “Jolly Roger”).

Also, think dastardly, conniving, ruthless, cheating, bloodthirsty, unrepentant, backstabbing, philandering, unredeemable; in short, all the typical Wronski family traits. There are some good things deep down in those genes too; but Argy (pronounced “Ahrrrr-gy”) was the penultimate expression of those darker qualities, top of the line if you will.

Most proud was he to be such a vile purveyor of villainy. He was first in the historical record to be cited as one who “If you got it, flaunt it”. He lost his hand to a sneaky alligator in the Florida Everglades. (Reportedly that’s where he buried his treasure. I have an old parchment map and am collecting funds for an expedition. Write your checks to C.A.S.H.)

If you're thinking Peter Pan reference, don’t. Though in the 1954 Broadway play Cyril Ritchard did manage to get Argy’s signature chortle down pat—it goes a fast “Huh-huh-huh-huh”. The flamboyant style was also pretty close to the real deal. Click this to see for yourself. 

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