Great Uncle Wrencek Wronski

Here you have Great Uncle Wrencek Wronski the original 99%-er what got robbed by the Man. It can’t be proven for sure (If it could, I’d be driving a Lincoln limousine. Driving? Ha! Being driven in . . .) but the story goes that that first tier 1%-er Henry Ford I got the idea for his historic Model T mostly from Uncle Wrencek; admittedly, adding the fourth wheel was HFI’s own inspiration. John D. Rockefeller lifted Uncle’s Pegasus flying red horse logo and slapped it on his Standard Oil Company. Even Harvey Firestone had a piece of him. See those studded tires; Wrencek pasted on licorice drops and arguably invented the first off road tire. Harvey was a fan of the licorice. (Didn’t you ever wonder why automobile tires a black?) Harvey lifted the idea without attribution.

Our dear Great Uncle Wrencek couldn’t catch a break. Even his ex-wife Ethel referred to him as that “That Wretch with a Wrench!” Ouch.

Yet, we remember Wrencek privately in the family for all his groundbreaking firsts. There’s—like Al Gore is credited with the Internet—for envisioning the economy car and the hybrid vehicle. Wrencek lowered the weight on his first production vehicle coming out of Wronski Motors by keeping it to only three wheels and by using his wife’s girdle as the skin for his famous 3-wheeler. Look closely and you can see the clip garters. His old lady was, ahem, rather a gas; he devised a method to collect her prodigious effluvia from under the covers and used it to power his automobile. Sounds like a tall tale. Like propane does today, it burned clean.

Well, he might have been the “Wretch with a Wrench”, but a few others were the real stinkers. 

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