Halloween 2015

It was night. Isn't it always thus. Nothing spooky ever happens during the day. Except, if you read the morning newspaper. Does anyone do that any more? That is, actually sit down and read printed ink on a huge page of flimsy paper?

Well, on with the tale. 

It sure looked like just some plain old regular house all decorated up and all for this year's Halloween observances. 

Well, here's something to observe. Those kids didn't give it another thought. Making their way down the line of houses, filling their bags with all manner of wonderfullnesses. Take for instance the jars of wild caught, whole Albacore Tuna packed in Extra Virgin First Cold Press Tuscan Olive Oil. Or, whole packages of Saltine Crackers. And, with Spread! Good Cheese Spread. Importado. And, possibly the most extravagant, orange-tone iPhones. All loaded up with music and trendy apps, and with a prepaid contract with unlimited ... whatever! I think the word here is ... "Upscale".

Pressing forward, on into the night, they sashayed right up to that door. Yes, that door! Calling out in their shrilliest voices, "Trick or Treat!" "Trick or Treat!"

It may depend on what your idea of fun is, or a treat; but, what happened then when that lovely, sweet enticing voice beckoned them to enter ... Well, just let us say ... once inside, the "fun" began. Never mind whether it was a "Trick" or a "Treat". 

Quite an exotic ambiance, to be sure. Mario Buatta gone to seed kind of aesthetic. All festive and loaded with Jack-O-Lanterns all alight; their shimmering glowings piercing the dark and dusty room where there was to find no one what seemed just a moment ago had so sweetly enticed them to enter. And, oh yes, what the heck is that smell? Whew!!! Nothing good, that's for sure.

Were those kids unafraid, or just unsuspecting? Because, little did they realize ... to the sound of doors slamming, shutting, and locking ... there they were. All alone, all by their proverbial lonesome. Only to hear hurried footsteps nearby. But from where? In the room right there, someone unseen? Noises coming from somewhere in that dark, cavernous house? Maybe just a prank ... a recording on the Victrola?

[Note to parent(s): If at this point your kid doesn't ask, "What is a Victrola?" you need to take a course in parenting with special emphasis on passing down historical cultural perspectives. And, if you yourself don't know from "Victrola" then stop reading this right now. And confess to your progeny that you are just a boob. And, a twit. Just kidding. Trick or Treat.]

So, anyway. These kids are there for what seemed like quite a long time and — as kids will, and are wont to do — getting restless. No treats in sight. And, the longer they stay there in that, what is becoming rather clear by now, haunted house they are beginning to suspect there is a trick afoot. And, that's not measured on a ruler. "A foot" that is. It's more to do with something-going-on-and-about-to-become-crystal-clear-any-moment-now. And, by the way, that would be something about which you'd rather not find out. For sure!

Just as it was about to become really scary ... for real, SCARY! ... a loud knock on the front door. They ran to open the door. Which, by the way, was not locked as they [and you .... all of us, really] thought it was owing to that closing locking sound referred hereinto earlier, that is. 

The door opened and what was there? Uncle Fester. (Yes, Fester. No joke! For some reason he's the one what got the Halloween chaperon duty every year.) He too was getting restless waiting for his little darlings. Thanks to goodness!

Little did any of them know ... had any more time passed with those little kids all alone in that spooky old house, in that even spookier old room ... Well, just to say ... it's better left unsaid. Otherwise, you would really be scared. For real. And this is just a story, so we don't want nobody getting all in a fuss, or things like that. And such.

Happy Halloween!

Let's leave it at that.

Oh, yes. One last thought ...

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