Advice from Me to Myself 

Patrul Rinpoche (1808-1887) 

Vajrasattva, sole deity, Master,
You sit on a full-moon lotus-cushion of white light
In the hundred-petalled full bloom of youth.

Think of me, Vajrasattva,
You who remain unmoved within the manifest display
That is Mahamudra, pure bliss-emptiness.

Listen up, old bad-karma Patrul,
You dweller-in-distraction.

For ages now you’ve been
Beguiled, entranced, and fooled by appearances.
Are you aware of that? Are you?
Right this very instant, when you’re
Under the spell of mistaken perception
You’ve got to watch out.
Don’t let yourself get carried away by this fake and empty life.

Your mind is spinning around
About carrying out a lot of useless projects:
It’s a waste! Give it up!
Thinking about the hundred plans you want to accomplish,
With never enough time to finish them,
Just weighs down your mind.
You’re completely distracted
By all these projects, which never come to an end,
But keep spreading out more, like ripples in water.
Don’t be a fool: for once, just sit tight.

Listening to the teachings—you’ve already heard hundreds of teachings,
But when you haven’t grasped the meaning of even one teaching,
What’s the point of more listening?

Reflecting on the teachings—even though you’ve listened,
If the teachings aren’t coming to mind when needed,
What’s the point of more reflection? None.

Meditating according to the teachings—
If your meditation practice still isn’t curing
The obscuring states of mind—forget about it!

You’ve added up just how many mantras you’ve done—
But you aren’t accomplishing the kyerim visualizatiion.
You may get the forms of deities nice and clear—
But you’re not putting an end to subject and object.
You may tame what appear to be evil spirits and ghosts,
But you’re not training the stream of your own mind.

Your four fine sessions of sadhana practice,
So meticulously arranged—
Forget about them.

When you’re in a good mood,
Your practice seems to have lots of clarity—
But you just can’t relax into it.
When you’re depressed,
Your practice is stable enough
But there’s no brilliance to it.
As for awareness,
You try to force yourself into a rigpa-like state,
As if stabbing a stake into a target!

When those yogic positions and gazes keep your mind stable
Only by keeping mind tethered—
Forget about them!

Giving high-sounding lectures
Doesn’t do your mind-stream any good.
The path of analytical reasoning is precise and acute—
But it’s just more delusion, good for nothing goat-shit.
The oral instructions are very profound
But not if you don’t put them into practice.

Reading over and over those dharma texts
That just occupy your mind and make your eyes sore—
Forget about it!

You beat your little damaru drum—ting, ting
And your audience thinks it’s charming to hear.
You’re reciting words about offering up your body,
But you still haven’t stopped holding it dear.
You’re making your little cymbals go cling, cling—
Without keeping the ultimate purpose in mind.

All this dharma-practice equipment
That seems so attractive—
Forget about it!

Right now, those students are all studying so very hard,
But in the end, they can’t keep it up.

Today, they seem to get the idea,
But later on, there’s not a trace left.
Even if one of them manages to learn a little,
He rarely applies his "learning" to his own conduct.

Those elegant dharma disciples—
Forget about them!

This year, he really cares about you,
Next year, it’s not like that.
At first, he seems modest,
Then he grows exalted and pompous.
The more you nurture and cherish him,
The more distant he grows.

These dear friends
Who show such smiling faces to begin with—
Forget about them!

Her smile seems so full of joy—
But who knows if that’s really the case?
One time, it’s pure pleasure,
Then it’s nine months of mental pain.
It might be fine for a month,
But sooner or later, there’s trouble.

People teasing; your mind embroiled—
Your lady-friend—
Forget about her!

These endless rounds of conversation
Are just attachment and aversion—
It’s just more goat-shit, good for nothing at all.
At the time it seems marvellously entertaining,
But really, you’re just spreading around stories about other people’s mistakes.
Your audience seems to be listening politely,
But then they grow embarrassed for you.

Useless talk that just make you thirsty—
Forget about it!

Giving teachings on meditation texts
Without yourself having
Gained actual experience through practice,
Is like reciting a dance-manual out loud
And thinking that’s the same as actually dancing.

People may be listening to you with devotion,
But it just isn’t the real thing.

Sooner or later, when your own actions
Contradict the teachings, you’ll feel ashamed.

Just mouthing the words,
Giving dharma explanations that sound so eloquent—
Forget about it!

When you don’t have a text, you long for it;
Then when you’ve finally gotten it, you hardly look at it.

The number of pages seems few enough,
But it’s a bit hard to find time to copy them all.
Even if you copied down all the dharma texts on earth,
You wouldn’t be satisfied.

Copying down texts is a waste of time
(Unless you get paid)—
So forget about it!

Today, they’re happy as clams—
Tomorrow, they’re furious.
With all their black moods and white moods,
People are never satisfied.
Or even if they’re nice enough,
They may not come through when you really need them,
Disappointing you even more.

All this politeness, keeping up a
Courteous demeanor—
Forget about it!

Worldly and religious work
Is the province of gentlemen.
Patrul, old boy—that’s not for you.

Haven’t you noticed what always happens?
An old bull, once you’ve gone to the trouble of borrowing him for his services,
Seems to have absolutely no desire left in him at all—
(Except to go back to sleep).

Be like that—desireless.

Just sleep, eat, piss, shit.
There’s nothing else in life that has to be done.

Don’t get involved with other things:
They’re not the point.

Keep a low profile,

In the triple universe
When you’re lower than your company
You should take the low seat.

Should you happen to be the superior one,
Don’t get arrogant.

There’s no absolute need to have close friends;
You’re better off just keeping to yourself.

When you’re without any worldly or religious obligations,
Don’t keep on longing to acquire some!

If you let go of everything—
Everything, everything
That’s the real point! 

This advice was written by the practitioner Trime Lodro (Patrul Rinpoche) for his intimate friend Ahu Shri (Patrul Rinpoche), in order to give advice that is tailored exactly to his capacities.

This advice should be put into practice.

Even though you don’t know how to practice, just let go of everything—that’s what I really want to say. Even though you aren’t able to succeed in your dharma practice. don’t get angry.

May it be virtuous.

Patrul Rinpoche (1808-1887) was the wandering Dzogchen master of Eastern Tibet, beloved by the people. He was renowned as the enlightened vagabond.

Translation by Constance Wilkinson

Many questions about the text were clarified according to the extremely kind explanations of the Chogyal Namkhai Norbu Rinpoche, during his stay in New York City, and according to the detailed explanations of Khenpo, Rigdzin Dorje of the Nyingmapa Shedra, Bansbari, Kathmandu, Nepal.

Thanks to Matthieu Ricard of Shechen Tennyi Dargyeling, and to Anne Burchardi of the Marpa institute of Translation for their advice toward trying to make this translation faithful to both the letter and spirit of the original Tibetan.

All errors and misunderstandings are those of the translator. May this poem, despite all shortcomings of its translation, serve to benefit beings.

Sarva Mangalam.

Online Source:

Many millions of years have passed since the terrifying night of the past in which we began slowly evolving and devolving. Yet, the human being still does not know who he is, where he comes from, nor where is he going.

"There is everything in him except himself."
They [we] are, "... pieces of pressed meat."

[Excerpt from Beelzebub in America in Gurdjieff's America: Mediating the Miraculous]

Only such a sensation and such a cognizance can now destroy the egoism completely crystallized in them that has swallowed up the whole of their Essence and also that tendency to hate others which flows from it — the tendency, namely, which engenders all those mutual relationships existing there, which serve as the chief cause of all their abnormalities unbecoming to three-brained beings and maleficent for them themselves and for the whole of the Universe.

Following from: 

Beelzebub’s Tales To His Grandson / George Ivanovitch Gurdjieff ...

"I repeat, my boy, there exists at the present time on that continent Asia a great many similar customs.

"I personally saw hundreds of them which seemed at first sight no less strange and barbarous but, upon a serious and impartial study of their hidden meaning, always revealed one and the same aim, namely, either the destruction of the noxious carriers of various diseases, or the strengthening of moral shame.

"But on the continent of Europe I scarcely found a single custom specially created either for purposes of hygiene or for instilling morality among the masses.

"It cannot be denied that various customs also exist on the continent of Europe, even thousands of them, but they are all established only in order that beings may have the possibility of pleasing each other, or to conceal the real state of affairs, that is to say, to disguise the undesirable forms of one's exterior – undesirable of course only according to subjective understanding – and to conceal the nullity of one's own inner significance.

"These customs existing there progressively increase year by year the 'duality' of the personality and mind of the beings there.

"But the principal evil lies in this, that at the present time there, all the 'Oskianotznel' of the rising generation, or the education of the children, is rendered and reduced only to the adoption of these innumerable customs which exist among them and engender only immorality. Hence it is that year by year the data crystallized in them by tens of centuries for the Being 'of an image of God,' and not simply, as they themselves would say, 'of an animal,' are on the one hand decrystallized, and on the other hand their psyche is already becoming almost such as our dear Teacher defines by the words:

"'There is everything in him except himself.'

"And indeed, my boy, owing to the complete absence of good patriarchal customs and to their notorious 'education,' the contemporary beings of that continent have already become completely transformed into what are called 'automatons' or living mechanical puppets.

"At the present time any one of them can become animated and manifest himself outwardly, only when there are accidentally pressed the corresponding what are called 'buttons' of those impressions already present in him, which he mechanically perceived during the whole of his preparatory age.

"But unless these buttons are pressed, the beings there are in themselves only, as again our highly esteemed Mullah Nassr Eddin says, 'pieces of pressed meat.'

"It must without fail be remarked here that one of the principal causes of this state of the beings of contemporary civilization is also that same onanism of theirs, a disease which in recent times has come to be almost epidemic there, and which is in its turn also a consequence again of their education of children, thanks to a certain maleficent idea established among its rulers and which is already, as it were, an inseparable part of the consciousness of everybody, namely, their maleficent idea that 'to speak to children about the sex question is absolutely improper.'

"And further, I again emphasize that just this, for their naive reason, trifling idea, the significance of which none of them takes into consideration – considering it simply as what they call a question of 'decency' or 'indecency' – is the chief cause of their having come to this phenomenal so to say 'psychic mechanicality.'

"In the totality of definite understandings which they call 'education,' there is even a certain section which elucidates and exactly indicates just what is, as they express it, 'decent' and what is 'indecent' to say to children.

Write In Bernie

She's Got a Snake!

Some humor for these gender fluid times ...

Lady is out walking her pet snake when she passes a movie theater and discovers that the last of run showing of a movie she really wants to see is just about to start. There’s no time to take the snake back home, so she wraps the snake around her waist under her skirt and stuffs the head of the snake into her underwear and goes in to see the movie.

The movie is running and the snake starts to get edgy. The woman is patting the snake in an effort to calm it down. 

It just so happens that two old men are sitting next to her, and one of them can't help but see all the patting and stroking.

“George, the woman next to me is playing with herself!” “Pay her no attention and she’ll stop,” advises George.

Well, time passes but the snake is getting more and more agitated being so confined. So the woman lifts up her skirt and pulls the snake half way out.

“George ... George! Now she is deliberately exposing herself!”

“Never mind,” says George. “She ain't got nothing you never seen before.”

“I don't think so! And, besides ... this one's nipping my ear!”

George says, "Then tell her to sit the hell back down."

She is sitting down!

George: "I'm confused."

"You're confused!!!"

Keyword: Trumped Up

In a consumer targeted, money-centric world where the population is conditioned to a constant demagoguery which preys on its fears, popular desires, prejudices, and unconscious motivations in the service of promoting the consumption of all kinds of trumped up passing sensory distractions and useless manufactured wants and ego fulfillments, where the so-called telegenic successful person is revered ...

Should it come as a surprise that at some point in such a culture it is inevitable that an actual personified demagogue would come forward to lead the hypnotized eager masses? A sociopath whose own aims justify whatever action or position furthers them, and too cynical about the intelligence the electorate to bother to be consistent.

Of, course, Donald Trump comes to mind. It's right there in the quote. Hard to miss. Even if his name wasn't mentioned. He'd come to mind.

In a very incisive article in the New York Magazine Andrew Sullivan writes on how America is a breeding ground for tyranny offers some understanding on the current state of American politics. Striking to me how he makes Sarah Palin out to be a kind of John the Baptist to the coming of messiah Trump.

Recent liberal commentators speak of how Donald Trump is not the problem, but it's the educational system which produces idiots not keen enough to see through his demagoguery. As if an education is some guarantee that you'll see things clearly. I don't think so. Smart, maybe. Ignorance. That's not something you can educate away. For that fix you need exemplars. They are there. And, many. But the assholes are very noisy. And, get the press.

My point is that if it's not Trump, it'll be someone else. Maybe not now, but it'll keep coming up. It's a systemic manifestation of the culture we live in. Reread the above quote now.

Now, how to change the culture. Let's be realistic and plan for a miracle.

I am hopeful. Trump or no Trump. There are also angels among us. God's hand is in things. Like Mr. Dylan said, "The times they are a'changin'".

Not to put too much of the fear of God into you, here's a prophecy from a more cosmic perspective about things to come:

Men do not suspect to what dangers they are menaced by. They continue to pursue futile objectives and to seek pleasure. Sins accumulated for thousands of years must be redeemed.

New Vocabulary for Those Nethers Things

KEYWORDS: Coot-Coot, Prune Shoot, Drainer, Stainer, Mud Gun, Fun Bun, Love Muffin, Porkie-Piggin' it, Full-Donald-Duckn' it

If you're like me and find yourself rather mystified how it seems that women themselves have come up with the term "Vagina" for their lady parts down there, here are some options. 

A vagina is a specific thing and place. Without getting too technical — I am a professional, you know — you don't see the vagina. So what do you call that thing? "Vulva" just doesn't have that lilt on the tongue. No pun or other salacious reference intended. Wink, wink. 

And, of course, both sexes share certain down-there parts. Again, "Anus" and "Buttocks" just don't fit well. Especially if you're straight. Or, a very kinky lady. But, hey. It's all good. Right. We all have friends. And, a little dabbling is part of the college experience.

Now for some rare funny stuff. 

"At least it wasn't her worst Wednesday night" ... 

"At least somebody's interested" ...

Those Who Know Don't Say

That piece of pith refers to matters concerning Truth. In the realm of the Real words don't exist. Le mot juste,  "ineffable". Nothing can be said. "The Tao that can be spoken is not the true Tao."

And, if one would try to say something about it — attempt to explain — you probably wouldn't listen anyway. And, why should you? It's like that. There is such a thing as readiness, ripeness to be open to matters eternal. It's not easy. In fact it's a miracle when you find yourself asking the Perenial questions. What with a culture which at every turn demagogues you into some form or other of distraction and shills for you getting some or other manufactured fulfillment.

Conversely, those who say don't know. That's how you can tell if they're lying. How? Their lips are moving. [Told to me first by a wily old car salesman whose lips, by the way, were moving when he said that.] 

Then there's those smarties who don' t know, and don't say. A counterfeit on wisdom? Works well, though. Add a knowing smile, and you'll get a following.

This should make things crystal clear:

But, all is not lost. There are those who do know who are willing to point you in the right direction. Fortunately, I have been blessed with such associations.

In the realm of knowledge about things of the world, there's no shortage of talkers. That's the world for you: One big compelling illusion. Maya. False to the core. Trying to extricate oneself from its grip on its own terms is literally like trying to look at the back of your head. Without a mirror, that is. Good luck with that.

Here's what it boils down to after all is said and done.

Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi

My first forays into the so-called spiritual life were littered with many missteps. Being still, it turns out — at least for me — has been a challenge. What with a life devoted to planning and doing and being and acquiring and forestalling. 

You sit down to be still. What shows up? A cyclone of thoughts and feelings. The trick is to notice that you notice all that. Once you cross that threshold, then being still begins to teach you its secrets. Not feeding those thoughts and feelings with your attention, they transform. How? As they will. Just to watch. Trust. Be patient. As the Bhuddist's say, "Let it self perfect into its own condition."

Herewith a confession of my sins on the path of Dharma ... (Not all my sins, just some. The entire list would take up too much bandwidth.)

● Seeking others' approval. That's probably my hardest karmic nut. Engrained in there from very, very early times. Pray for me. If you have the time and money, light a candle.

● Giving advice when none was asked for. My daughters were always quick to point out that "Whatever you say goes back to you." So most of my spiritual sadhana has been about taking my own advice. Learning to leave others be. Happily so. Yet, dear daughters, if you read this, just know that while what you say indeed always goes back to you (i.e., moi), you could do well to apply my suggestions to yourselves too. Or, at least, give them some consideration.

● Sitting in daily meditation trying to mentally sort out whether I was enlightened yet. Then, — mirabile dictu! —one day noticing that I was doing that. Noticing that your noticing. That's a sweet step in the Sadhana. Besides, I've come to learn, we're already enlightened. The work has to do with dusting the shelves and throwing out the dead wood.

● Attempting to mentally wrestle thoughts into some more acceptable shape. Body sensations too. Remember John Lennon, "Let it be". Not everything that shows up in meditation is peaches and cream. There's some pretty nasty stuff in there. Good news is that the system is self-cleaning. Leave it alone. Be still!

You could find yourself making your neurotic habits into a racket. That only goes so far. Believe me, drop it. 

● Having a wonderful meditation experience and thinking that that is it! The mind does have a tendency to conceptualize ... everything. If you think you've got it, you don't. Well you do. But thinking you've got it is itself an obstacle. Form is empty. For sure. But, remember. Emptiness is form. 

● Evaluating others' spiritual level. Very bad thing to do. Especially when you realize the world is a mirror. It's as you see it. Ouch! Also, that all is One. That other there, that's you! Ouch, ouch!

● Sharing pearls of wisdom and spiritual instruction on social media. Well, I still do that. Not too many likes. Maybe all my "Friends" have those matters settled. I could just be the last one to get into Heaven. 

Interesting story on this point. When I was a kid in parochial school it was a common occurrence that we all fought to be first in line. The good Felician Nuns instructed us on how "The last would be first". After hearing that key to heaven, what did we do? You probably guessed. We fought for last place.

● Concerning over the state of things. 

This does not mean you don't give a shit. It means having freedom from concern over what's what. You still act as you will. From that freedom you can respond to situations clearly and authentically.   

● Thinking my children would take up meditation just because I do, and suggesting that to them too. It might have had just the opposite effect. As parents we have to acknowledge that our destiny and that of our children may not be the same. We must learn to drop our concern at some point in any event.

Kahlil Gibran said it well ...

Where To Go?

If you think the happy poop image above is gross, think again. It's an Emoji. Stands for ... good luck. What's an Emoji? Look elsewhere. I got enough on my hands trying to wrangle this wramble onto the page and make some sense out of just a tiny piece of the contemporary meshuggah zeitgeist.

In case you haven't noticed there's now a vigorous contest to reassign public restroom use. 

Used to be this way:

1. If you were a boy, you went to the Men's room. 
2. Girls went to the Ladies room. 
3. Men went to the Boy's room. 
4. Women went to the Girl's room.

Looks like it's up for grabs. No pun intended. But, there could be some unwelcome grabbing in the loo if you don't watch out. Like the drummer in the band went to the bathroom and was discovered to be playing with his own skins. My pimp buddy can't wait to send his ho's to ply their trade in Men's rooms. Heck, he's broadminded and up to date. Into the Ladies room too. 

Let's not get into the manifold permutations of clothing choices, and gender reassignment. Used to be when I was a lad someone in a dress was a girl. And, along with long hair, pretty much all it took to get my interest. Now, you should look under the hood before getting into the car. If you know what I mean. I can just imagine seeing men shopping for themselves in what were once women's departments. And, vice verse. Maybe when I'm feeling a little girly I'll go to Saks and have my face done at the cosmetics department. And, sue if they don't take me seriously at the cosmetics counter or after I go into the Ladies room.

A joke: Fellow gets his face slapped at a party after he sticks his nose up into a lady's behind. She sues for assault. He counter sues for cruelty to animals. His claim ... he was feeling his inner dog just then.

Adding the manifold permutations anyhow:

Born Male
     Identifies as Male
          Wears Male-style clothes
          Wears Female-style clothes
     Identifies as Female
          Wears Male-style clothes
          Wears Female-style clothes
          Male to Female Gender Reassigned
               Wears Male-style clothes
                    Attracted to Males
                    Attracted to Females
               Wears Female-style clothes
                    Attracted to Males
                    Attracted to Females

Born Female
     Identifies as Female
          Wears Female-style clothes
          Wears Male-style clothes
     Identifies as Male
          Wears Female-style clothes
          Wears Male-style clothes
          Female to Male Gender Reassigned

               Wears Male-style clothes
                    Attracted to Males
                    Attracted to Females
               Wears Female-style clothes
                    Attracted to Males
                    Attracted to Females

Not getting into the thicket of how to parse based on at what point in the reassignment process one may be. Or the difference between transgender and transexual. Also, if the identification is long term, or just momentary. And, if you're feeling a little doggy, do you just go next to the table? Finally, if you're sexual appetites aren't delineated into only one category. 

This just in: We hear Caitlyn Jenner is feeling like being Bruce again. Considering "de-transitioning" in the near future. WTF?

Foreseeing an uncomfortable scenario: 

Man and women out for a dinner date. She excuses herself to go to "powder her nose". Meanwhile said man decides to go the restroom too. Feeling a little girly just then, he goes to the Ladies Room. Hears a lot of grunting and farting and loud defecating coming from the only stall in use. Goes back to the table. His date arrives soon after. Buzz kill? Alternatively, he goes to the Men's Room. Same sounds. Only this time his date emerges from the stall while he is washing his hands. Big question ... If he gets lucky tonight what's he gonna find under the hood? And, is it unconstitutional for him to care, never mind object? Or, was she just feeling a little butch just then?

There's a great Hal Roach classic from1940, "Turnabout" with John Hubbard and Carole Landis.

Or, the songwriter who's song titles were so gross, dirty and salacious the club manager insisted, "Your music is beautiful, just don't say the song titles when you perform for my guests." He agreed. The performance was a hit. Standing ovations. After a while he took-five for a bathroom break. Coming out of the john he forgot to zip up. A customer noticed and said, "Do you know your dick's hanging out of your pants?" The musician replied, "Know it! I wrote it!"

Tricky thing is now we have all kinds of fluid gender variants that are not only acceptable, but thrillingly and enthusiastically applauded for their expressions of diversity. I grew up in a time when gender fluids were only of two kinds. Now, it's a cocktail. "Cocktail." Now there's a word from another era too. Somehow sexual, if your mind goes there. Mine did.

What is that ... this mass movement to embrace and mainstream outlier ideas. Take masturbation. Please do. Yes, what was once anathema is now encouraged. It's good for you. And, for when you can't get it up on your own, there's a pill. For a price. If your erection lasts for more than four hours ... you're welcome! 

Take the recent public excess over the death of rocker Prince. Sure, he was a talent. But, come on! I'm not enough of a sociologist to have any kind of insight to offer into what is behind that mass bandwagon of grief and adulation. Really! What is that? Like lemmings  is a term that seems to relate to how the public gets on board certain things. Let's not get started with a certain demagogue messiah whose coming had been heralded by that would be "John the Baptist" Sarah Palin.

Just like how it seems in a flash how same-sex marriage is the law of the land. OK. I get it about equal rights. Yes, marriage confers certain desirable legal prerogatives between couples who otherwise wouldn't be recognized if just cohabiting.  

Funny story. When I worked at a prestigious US Government research center, health insurance was one of my salaried benefits. Since my partner and I aren't married she could not qualify under my plan. Yet — this is truly "queer" — if she was male and we were not married "he" would be covered. That is queer. 

Same sex marriage. What still astonishes me though is how in such short time after what seemed to be centuries of tradition it is now considered by a large swath of the citizenry a no-brainer that such a thing should be so obvious to do. So obvious in some circles that you would be ostracized for not wholeheartedly embracing it. We may be entering into a thumbs-up / thumbs-down culture. The vox populi rules. Or, the squeakiest hinge gets the oil. 

Born that way. Really? Used to be a centuries-old idea, "Tabla Rasa". Blank slate. Now whatever your sexual preference may be, it's inborn. This is not a scientific fact. It became fact in a matter of months owing to political pressure. Just hope a whole bunch of your friends decide your an asshole. Then, what you have suspected all along will, in fact, be a fact. The day goes to the ones with the most political clout. Let's just hope in the world of "winners" all the young'uns don't get together and decide that the old fogies should make a hasty retreat, them being all ugly and non-productive and all. Package it all into some Soilent Green movie scenario. Cruel, but kind. 

I see in my own field how that idea of "born that way" plays in. I train individuals to transform the arrangement of their bodies to one which works better architecturally under the demands of the pull of Gravity. The human body is plastic, it molds over time with experience. It can change. A recent client observed how his son had the same kind of posture as he did. He chalked it up to genetics. Well there's some genetics in there, for sure. But, genes are plastic too. You heard it here first. I suggested to him that there may be some modeling involved. Like father, like son, kind of thing. I don't think he bought it. The kid was born that way. Next time I feel like poking some stranger in the nose, I'll offer that excuse. I suspect it'll only go so far.

There's something I call Gatekeeper in another article. It would certainly settle those public restroom concerns. Now just to find the Wunderkind algorithm genius to figure out who should in fact go where. Like the other day, a friend of mine was deeply and truly feeling in touch with his inner feminine. He went into the Ladies room at the bar to, as they say, "drain the main vein". He still has no idea what all the ensuing fuss was about. He did assure everyone that since his penis was attracted to women it was lesbian. That should have handled it. No pun intended. But, I think he went a little astray when he whipped the thing out to prove it.

So now we have legislatures worrying over all this. Who goes where. What kind of junk between your legs do you have and where does it go? Also, the junk in your head. When I feel pretty, which loo do I use? It could go further. Suppose you were feeling a little doggy one day. It would be then completely politically correct to go around sniffing butts. Dogs get a pass on that one, you know. Caitlyn Jenner. Does he/she have the balls to go under the knife and have those tech wiz doctors fabricate for her a fake pussy? Yes, that's not a politically correct word unless a female says it. Just like "nigger" is off limits unless you're Black. And, don't try to tell any Jew a Jewish joke. Not funny. Remembering the comic Myron Cohen on the Ed Sullivan Show. Famous for how he captured the ethnic Jewish accent in America. And others. He said some people called him anti-Semitic. His response, "But, I am Semitic."

Who said it? "We are building a dictatorship of relativism that does not recognize anything as definitive and whose ultimate standard consists solely of one's own ego and desires." Answer: One Pope Benedict XVI. Here's some more from an interview with the Pope and Peter Seewald.

You know how in the Tao Te Ching there's that bit about the more laws there are the poorer the people will be. And, the more clever and cunning people are, the stranger the events will be. And, the more laws and commands there are, the more thieves and robbers there will be. 

Present times ... it seems to fit, doesn't it?

GATEKEEPER ... It's Coming

The Beauty is That It's ... Up Yours!

There is a piece I saw today about the prediction that by year 2017 everyone in the US of A will have a microchip implant. Certainly sounds like it would solve the illegal immigrant concerns. 

With the demonstrated willingness of large swaths of the electorate to fall into lockstep behind some pretty huge demagoguery, can the Brave New World be that far off? Imagine all the other wonderful — and terrible — possibilities

Depending on where you stand you will either see this as a boon for mankind, or fraught with dangerous possibilities. Some of both, we can be sure of that. We humans, even with the best of intentions, have a predictable way of screwing things up. Do I need to give examples? I was born and raised in the City of Detroit. Enough said. Okay. How about all the plastic in the oceans?

Sony recently has filed for a patent for a camera device embedded in a contact lens. A brain chip shouldn't be all that hard to engineer. Heck, it would allow us to scan the WWW and do all the things we do on our "devices" with the screen projected out right in front of your actual field of view. And, in HD quality. It's not that someone somewhere isn't trying to jigger that sort of thing, it's more about public acceptance. Like in the auto industry. The technology is always way ahead of the public's ability/willingness to accept and adopt. But, you can be sure, it's not all that big a step from a Smartphone in front of your face or some wearable on your ear or wrist to awakening to the convenience of having something that'll do all that and more shoved up yourself somewhere.

Here's a brand name suggestion ... Apple/Up Yours!

So, it's a matter of time.

Enter ... Gatekeeper. First offered as an app. Like on the Apple Watch. But, Up Yours! Which, by the way, you could have something like Gatekeeper right now on your wrist or Smartphone. But, instead, Gatekeeper of the Brave New World will be linked to an implant placed somewhere up your ... whatever. 

Here's how it would work. The most obvious will be in personal location identification. That little bugger would offer GPS. For you, and anyone else who felt it necessary to keep track of you. No child ever lost again. Who wouldn't go for that?

Or, say you don't want your kids to go into night clubs when they're under age. (Underage. What a quaint concept. When the official state religion becomes full-on Relativistic Non-Judgementalism who should say what those little idiots of yours should or should not do. Hey. "You know you got it [you know it's right] if it makes you feel good." Pearl said it!)

A coordinated device at the door of said den of iniquity would sound an alarm when anyone with a device programmed "do not enter" approached. 

The head spins at all the wonderful possibilities. No more drunk drivers. Your car — any car — would not work past a specified blood alcohol level. What about some drunk walking out into the roadway, a danger to himself and others. No prob. Shoes that would squeeze your feet into submission. What if they take off their shoes? The belt around the waist could cinch up to incapacitate. Enough with the permutations! That's for some bright kid just out of graduate school who's too green to have enough of a world view to know what the implications of what he or she is doing to figure out. We're all tools when we enter the work force. Only get wise — if we do — later when it's too late and we're strapped in with kids, a mortgage, car payments, and that little something we keep on the side in town for when we're "working late". 

Gatekeeper would certainly settle those public restroom concerns. Now just to find the Wonder Kind algorithm genius to figure out who should in fact go where. Like the other day, a friend of mine was deeply and truly feeling in touch with his inner feminine. He went into the Ladies rooms at the bar to, as they say, "drain the main vein". He has no idea what all the ensuing fuss was about. He did assure everyone that since his penis was attracted to women it was lesbian. That should of handled it. No pun intended. But, I think he went a little astray when he whipped the thing out to prove it. 

There should probably be a book or movie. But, the reality will be here soon enough.