Uncle Wolvechek Mitzevsczelenke Wronski went by both "Wolfy" and "Mitzy". I don't think it's too hard to understand why, from this 1957 photo at Romanoff's in Beverly Hills. Here he is hobnobbing with two local beauties.

He was a special friend of Jayne's since it was Wolfy who came up with the bright idea of calling the bumper extensions seen on the Cadillacs during most of the 1950s decade, "Jayne Manfields". According to Mitzy it was him what gave GM the idea in the first place. He claimed that they brought him in to size check their design. Did I mention he had legendary large hands, hence the nickname. He had some "mitts", get it? Anyhow, he was finally satisfied with their larger iteration. "It's just right." He found the lovely Ms. Mansfield ''just right" also, but he didn't elaborate.

Sophia Loren that evening was reported to have cornered Uncle Wolfy, and put her jealous question to him hotly, "Whata she got, I no have!?" Mitzy was a "hands on" man, and after a little first hand observation, he replied, "Nottin'".

Check it out below. Some bumpers?

You can take a gander at all the Wronski clan. Click here.

Kiss me! You Fool!

Uncle Kizachek "Kissy" Wronski was, as in the family tradition, a lover. Here he is with Aunty Mona. He kept her, as he would say, lean. That is, he played hard to get. But Mona didn't have to moan-a for long. She knew the gambit too. All she had to do was demonstrate her undivided interest in his affections, and in short order the beast in him would awaken and things would take their natural course.

Kissy had several offspring. Aunty Genevieve once said, "That boy should put the family jewels away in the attic." Both Mona and Kissy were not amused with the metaphor. They would often show up at Genevieve's door early Sundays with the whole brood in tow and stay on to sample the cocktail bar and enjoy the pool while Aunty dear rustled up an impromptu Sunday meal. I don't know if her crack about the family jewels came before or after, but you can understand the sentiment either way. 

For a look at the whole bunch of Wronski histericity, CLICK this. 

Free From Media Manipulation ... There's a Pill for That

Breaking Free of the Yoke of Media Manipulation

 

Here's a Pill for That . . .

 

"I have a surefire way for you to wrest yourself away from the beast that feeds on your very own habit for consumption."

I used to be an "Ad Biggie". That's what my peers and I sarcastically called ourselves in our inner circle of advertising account executives. What you currently now refer to as "Mad Men".

The thing is that I first worked in advertising on Lexington Avenue at J. Walter Thompson. Not Mad Ave. JWT was then the largest and oldest advertising agency in the world. It was headquartered in the Graybar Building in New York City, on Lexington Avenue, just north of 42nd Street. In the lobby you brushed shoulders with snooty Vogue Magazine girls, fashionably and indifferently marching off and out of your life toward the opposite elevator bank. The Graybar is right next to and joined with Grand Central Terminal. And, from there, the PanAm building. And, right across the street from that greatest of all skyscrapers, the Chrysler Building. Also across the street, the trusty Chock Full O'Nuts coffee shop. And, after a tough day in the trenches, an Irish bar for some beer and peanuts. Schraft's on the corner at 42nd Street and Lexington Avenue.

Then it was on to Ted Bates & Company, on Broadway, no less; a stone's throw from 42nd Street. That was during the Massage Parlor / Rap Parlor days, when seedy fellows pressed cards into the hands of passersby importuning, "Check it out!" And, finally, the last stop on my career path in that industry. Yes, I indeed eventually worked on Madison Avenue itself, at Doyle Dane Bernbach. The polished smooth, silver haired Bill Bernbach could often be seen on the floor, and Ned Doyle and Maxwell Dane kept offices in the building. Once we all gathered at a window to wave as Pope John Paul II motorcaded by on his way to visit St. Patrick's. He waved back!

I digress. When you work in an industry you fall under the spell of its self-created images, myths, and shibboleths. Put simply, when you're drinking the Kool-Aid it makes perfect sense. Until it doesn't.

It happened to me after too many years and at a significant turning point when I realized that I simply didn't want any more to be in the business of selling stuff and negotiating to keep the agency's creative vision from being eroded by clients' demands. ("I want that package FRONT LIT. No shadows.") Especially, I didn't want to promote the sale of stuff I didn't make, and probably wouldn't even if I could. You see, a professional marketer doesn't question the existential validity of the products and services he or she promotes. Well, that's what they say anyway. The simple fact that someone wants to spend some cash to move something off a shelf is the irreducible bottom line value. That's what is called "professional". In fairness, DDB at the time did not take cigarette brands as clients. Ethical stance? Maybe. Also, a likely gambit at goody-goody self promotion. I wasn't in on that meeting.

Without having much of a rational at the time, I just didn't want to do that any more. Out of that simple realization, six months later, and I was out of there. 

Fast forward to the current time frame and I continue to be a student of the the advertising craft. But, who isn't, huh? Not that I'm an expert, but I was paid to be one once. It seems to me now with some distance and perspective a lot of what's going on is selling stuff that nobody needs, creating solutions to problems that nobody has, urging consumption to have more, better, or different; better, all three. Imagine where our so called consumer economy would be if we stopped making and selling all the frou-frou? It all goes on at such a pace and penetrates into just about every corner of our lives, such that we take it for granted. For example, is there any question that you need a smartphone, or that the next version of one with the ability to get and share stuff faster and easier is what you really want? Or, certainly should have? By the shear weight of the advertising on the tube you would think that prescription drugs are a normal and expected part of living.

I know this is a wramble, but that's what I do; and what you get if you are reading this far. You won't be disappointed, though. Like I said, I have a surefire way for you to wrest yourself away from the beast that feeds on your very own habit for consumption.

Here's what you do: Next time you are watching television and a commercial comes on, or you see an advertisement in a magazine, imagine that message is preceded and followed by the following . . .

"Hey, Asshole! Look at this! Pay attention!"

 

Place Ad Here

 

"OK, Asshole? Now, Asshole, go out and get some of that."

I am particularly charmed by the advertising for pharmaceuticals. And how they disclaim the potential side effects. The commercials are visually always very sunny and reassuring. With a voiceover of a male or a female that conveys warmth, sincerity, integrity, and authority. Music to keep it ight. Those potential side effects take up a lot of time in the advertisement and what is sometimes some rather shocking information. If you paused to consider, it would be a complete turn off. But, you are an good asshole, and you let it go on by as just some mandatory legal fluff, predictably and dutifully focusing on the wonderful benefits and imagery, just as you are trained to do. Even a damaging side effect like a 4 hour erection comes off as a benefit. [Well, that's an arguable point.]

So next time you are watching a commercial or looking at a print ad, mentally insert the prescribed prefix and suffix lines. In short order you'll come to your own senses and realize you don't want to do that — that is, be a media slave — anymore. OK? Asshole?

"Hey, Asshole! Listen at this! Pay attention!"

Everything's "Copacetik".

Lovely. Happy. The way you want it to be. The way it should be. "Copacetic." Ask your doctor.

BTW ... Taking this drug may induce projectile vomiting and hemorrhaging from any and all orifices of the body. Mind splitting, massive migraine headaches have been known to occur. Your testicles could fall off. Breasts have shrivelled to resemble fried eggs for a small portion of females tested. "Dessicatus vaginitis" has been reported. Basic functional memory loss is not uncommon. Stroke and paralysis are sometimes possible. Going bat-shit crazy and running amok has occurred, but rarely. Agonizing deaths have also been known to occur. Unsightly worts are likely. Your nose could grow. There are other even more severe side effects, but the incidence is too low to legally require us to list them. 

So . . . Enjoy the "Copacetik" life.

Ask your doctor if "Copacetik" is right for you.
 
"OK, Asshole? Now, Asshole, go out and get some of that."
 

Our friend Cooky Cat, with the first and best. Presaging "The Internet of Things" years before it was even an idea.

So, here it is, as usual. Introducing ...

iTOAST^©

The day will soon be here when all's you gotta do is think it and it'll be there. It's called the Singularity and some heavy thinkers are saying we're just 10 years away from computers becoming smart as people. We can hardly wait. No reason to venture out into the mean streets any more. No more type keyboards or computer or TV screens. We’ll have it all inside our heads. It'll be the final solution to the gas supply/pollution/price trifecta.

Food of course will still be a problem in that brave new future world. Not so much in the eating and enjoying part, but in the (ahem) back of the house messy (nether) stuff at the end of the digestive cycle. We just won’t ever accept the so called Oriental Solution: the nutritional pill that they use instead of “old fashioned” food in China. The leading brand there is No Fussy-No Mussy.

But the future is now…

Introducing . . . iTOAST^©

You know how currently there is this craze to put images on everything. It started with the mainstreaming of the tattoo. In our youth the only people we knew with tattoos were members of the notorious Highwaymen Motorcycle Club on the east side of Detroit. Triumphs, leather jackets, babes, and tats. One-percenters, forever! (Stay on for the song at the bottom of the page. Some redemption for the Highwaymen.)

Now you get hearts in your latte foam. Who can forget the Nixon aurbergine (eggplant, stupid)?

Occasionally there would be a Jesus or a Mary in the toast, and people would throng for candlelit vigils.

Well now the throngs are coming right here to Cooky Cat.  iTOAST© is here for the delectation and degustation of all.

Imagine at the touch of a button having your morning toast not only crisped to your exact preference, but also with any of thousands of images. All at a touch of a button. (The future is 10 years away so you will still have to lift a finger in the meantime.)

Did we say thousands of images? Make that millions… zillions … megagigagagillions! If it Googles, it iTOASTs©.

Through a patent pending technology in an unprecedented collaboration with Cooky Cat, Apple Industries, NASA, and Martha Stewart we bring you iTOAST©.

Simplicity itself. Just call up the image of your choice on a 4G LTE device of your choosing and, at the touch of the iTOAST APP©, your special slice is being etched to perfection. You like The Jesus or The Mary? Simply call them up on your iPhone, or whatever, anytime you want. And the image will be the one that you select, not some vague happenstance. Black Jesus?, no prob. Jesus Christ Superstar?… surrounded by stage lights! Which apparition of the BVM do you venerate? Guadalupe is our personal favorite. Put it on toast from the actual chapel photos. Shroud of Turin? How do you want it? On a single slice, or spread out over a mosaic array of several toast slices. Our Lady of Częstochowa on toast?; how ironic.

OK. OK. All you God fearing Christians, don’t get up in a fuss. Buddha on toast is great, too. The Star of David is perfect, especially during the Jewish holidays. Every unit, in fact, includes special instructions to make a dreidel out of half of a loaf of seeded rye. Why seeded? That's what we like.

It doesn’t end there. If you’re feeling secular, there’s always the go-to fave, the smiley face. Naughty? Well, let us say that the things you can put on that toast will bring "eating your toast" to a new level of meaning, and excitement. For the kids… can we ever do enough to amuse the little darlings? No! In the brave new world that we are creating, the one who dies with the most experiences, WINS!

As we say at the Cooky Cat Culinary College, “The World is your Oster.” In short … go nuts. (By the way, that’s a name — Go-Nuts — that was proposed for a doughnut with added nutritional value. We also suggested — this was during the time of the Presidency of Mr. Carter — a product called Jimmies, a peanut butter filled Twinkie. And, the still tantalizing possibility, Twinkles, jelly filled Twinkies. We have no pride of authorship on those, take them, anyone. We are on to greater things.)

So you ask, how do we get one of those dern things? Simply find the Cooky Cat distributor near you and go on down to get your very own unit. Or, send a check made out to C.A.S.H. (as in, Cooky At Sales Headquarters ... but DON'T spell it all out). You're not ready to give up your old unit? We can retrofit your current toaster to iTOAST©, for a fee. But it won’t have the same 30 day warranty you will get with the brand new unit.

Don’t wait, supplies are not limited. There is a waiting list though because the manufacturing process is a bit lengthy owing to the use of child labor in a country where it is not only legal but encouraged. Oh, for the good old days! I know you’re with us (though secretly) on that.

Before you know it you will be enjoying a nutritious and entertaining bite of toast any morning of the week. But, hey, toast isn’t just for breakfast any more. Charlie the Tuna toast points on your tuna/mushroom sauce on toast for lunch. Stalin on toast for your caviar soirée. Jesus on the cross with jelly for blood at your after church social. Recreate Richard Pryor and his crack pipe mishap on Wonder Bread. Just the tip of the iceberg, to be sure. As we said, go nuts.

Be assured the infrastructure to support your iTOAST APP© is fully in place and operational.

Get yours now!

(And there is already in R&D an upgrade to take iTOAST© to the next level. Etched images in full living color. Photographic quality. 24 megapixels. And, way out in speculative development with Dreamworks is a secret project we can only hint at... Imagine a holographic display in 3D on your morning toast based on a download of your favorite YouTube video or feature length motion picture. With surround sound! No special eyewear. [Baron Ambrosia with his Bronx Flavor is being courted to conjure his culinary contrivances as a special, exclusive, very pricey app.] The technology, truth be told, is in hand. Just that the hardware required for on-site application is itself as big as a house. Something about handling the bandwidth. Our team of crack scientists [crack, as in sharp or very smart; not, like in crack whore] assures us that they are only days away from full miniaturization to the size of a postage stamp. But, not to worry about your unit becoming obsolete, we will take trade-ins. We do, however, encourage you not to trade in when you upgrade; instead, please keep your old unit. Antiques Roadshow on PBS we have it on good authority will endure well into the 21st Century. If you don't get our drift ... think "collectible." And, besides, the blue book at current trade in prices is fractions of pennies on the dollar. So better to hold off and cash in after the Singularity. If you last that long. Too much butter on your toast ... it's a killer.)

Morgan Automobiles

My 1966 Morgan +4 Drop Head Coupe . . .



At the factory . .  .

Your Life is Not a Story!

 

 

 

 

 



Listen! Though it can be told — by you, or by others — your life is not a story. Don't believe it. There is no imperative that you live into any idea of what you are, or what others may think about you. Especially as you look toward the future. We repeat the past for simply bringing it with us.

Whatever your ideas about yourself, they are wrong.

The future, what it holds, whatever it holds, accept it. Wholeheartedly. Even though it may not be understandable, or it may even break your heart.

Don't look back.

Don't Waste Gravity

A Waste of Gravity

When you’re tuned in to how to correctly cooperate with gravity, you’re tuned in to the world.

Gravity is an ineluctable environmental fact. But would you believe it if someone told you the force of gravity is on the leading edge of the ecological frontier? What? What? Understandably, the force of gravity is so steady and ever-present we are inured to it, unconscious to its presence.

Well then, consider something that is as plain to see as a mud fence. What we observe walking around every day around us is a wide variety of patterns of use of the human body which, to one extent or another, show signs of being at odds with the simple architectural dictates of gravity. Coming straight to the point, the doctor diagnoses your condition: “Out of Whack.”

The human body is like any other physical structure on earth. Every architect and building trade workers knows that things need to be “plumb and square” to hold together, to work properly, to last. The anatomical design of the human body calls for things to be stacked up vertically, level, and symmetrical. In that correct or normal stance you experience living effortlessly upright, unstressed, easy, and free. Thing power, presence, grace, capable. As the writer Scott Russell Sanders was quoted in Readers’ Digest so elegantly phrased it, “When the bubble is lined up between two marks etched in the glass tube of a level, you have aligned yourself with the forces that hold the universe together.”

On an everyday basis, however, we are mostly living with only a rough approximation of what the design of the body calls for in terms of correct or normal adaptation to the force of gravity. And when I say “mostly” I’m saying that it is rare to see the kind of grace and ease and power and presence manifest in our fellow men and women. When we do see it we are naturally moved by those manifest qualities. We recognize it as our birthright. We want it for ourselves. 

The situation of our species-wide lack of adaptation to the requirements of the force of gravity may never get recognized as such, and thus continues to self-perpetuate until and unless there is an intervention to alter its pattern. Most people function in an endless recursive feedback loop of fixated bodily patterns and regularly elicited feelings and emotions. Those patterns get set in over time because they continue to reflexively prompt the same sets of feelings and emotions which formed them in the first place. For most of us living vertically upright and balanced in the makeup of our bodies is still on the horizon as an evolutionary potential. My aim in writing this is to make it visible on that horizon. Like when Columbus sailed to the New World, the story goes that the natives did not see the ships; only the clued elders say. 

Another way to express it is that we are shaped by our experiences, set in our ways. And, few of us question whether this is necessary or that anything can be done about it. We become identified with those patterns ingrained into the fabric of our bodies. Attached. Literally. You could draw the analogy of a bird on a branch: “perched” there, holding on for support. We maintain the body patterns which got fixed into the fabric of our flesh which are a result of our individual unique history of bad habits, limited training, and accidents and traumas. This goes on all the time without pause and thus becomes our inadvertent default state.

We relate to it unquestioningly as if it is somehow genetically ordained. We leave it at, “Well, that’s just the way I am.” Or, “I was born that way.” We put up with living below our potential, robbed of vitality, energy diverted into maintaining imbalanced structural arrangements in the make-up of our bodies. These put a damper on productivity, physical performance and mental capacity, and creative expressiveness.

What’s worse, over time our bodies become fixed into patterns based on repetitive use. Imbalanced patterns betray our ignorance of gravity. We live at odds with the upright and level equipoise so very clearly called for in the human anatomical design. 

This need not be. At least in that respect, you weren’t born that way. Just that some bad habits may have set in, and some accidents and traumas haven’t been fully processed. And, oh yes, and who taught you how to walk, to stand, to sit? You went to school and learned so many things; but, on the point of how to use your body correctly — which, by the way, is at the center of all you do — you were mainly self-taught. The models on which we’ve patterned ourselves probably wouldn’t be getting any prizes as examples of correct body balance themselves. Mother didn’t always know best, every time.

Now that you know . . . don’t waste the opportunity with gravity! Your date is waiting on the doorstep.

Nevertheless, unless you’re a rocket scientist or drop the teacup, gravity gets little attention on an everyday basis. Understandably, the pull of gravity is so constant and ever present we easily become unconscious to it. What’s more, the very real survival issues presented these days by other ecological concerns already in our face may make the question of gravity — and the consequences of the ways we are misusing gravity — seem less urgent. Maybe even meaningless. So much so, it’s probably not even on the radar. So easy to let slip by. “Don’t waste gravity!” “What. Huh? Next?”

It is arguable, however, that becoming conscious and actively engaged in our lived relationship to gravity will have far reaching effects in all aspects of our lives. Not the least of which would be an awakened awareness and engagement with those other pressing matters at or soon to be at our doorstep. Simply put, when you’re tuned in to how you yourself operate in the gravitational field of the Earth, you get tuned in to the world. As a colleague used to love to say, “What we need around here is a firm grasp of the obvious!”

Yet we waste a great opportunity and lose productivity because we ignore it. Not to mention how this depresses the general quality of our life experience, and limiting performance and expressiveness. For want of access to our native inner resources we lack the creativity for adapting effectively to change and seeing the road clear to improving our ecological stance on the Earth. 

What to do?

Well, my preference is you call me and book an appointment to start a series of Rolf Structural Integration. Or, at least give some thought to how the way the makeup of your body and its imbalances affect your health, vitality, performance, and expression. Once you make the connection and come to the conclusion that you’d be better off in balance and in line with gravity, you’ll know what to do. Like a moth to the flame.

If you’re not reaching for the telephone right now, here are sometips to get you going in the right direction.

And, when you are ready to get it done . . . 973-518-2222.

That is, if you REALLY want to LIVE!

 

Look at the Face on That One!

 

 

We've all encountered people sporting what I would call . . . "A Puss". A face that seems to communicate some attitude.

The highest teaching I can share is what our old Buddha friend asserted so long ago . . . "FORM IS EMPTY". In other words, as I understand it, if you react to the perceived attitude someone else may be sporting on their face, you are really only projecting. Think of it as if they are actually wearing a paper mask. In fact the word "persona" does mean "mask". But that's too deep for me.

Yet, if you do like to project your inner attitude on your face, then just know it's a choice. Certainly an option. Until, of course, it's not.

Just to say that we should take some care and be mindful about the kind of face we are wearing. Also, mindful and at choice about the kind of face we want to share socially. In time — take for example, a frowny face — if kept on too long it begins to grow on you so that you don't notice it at all, and it becomes a permanent feature of your presentation. Friends make this excuse for you: "Oh, he's not angry, that's just him. That's just the way he looks." Really? Like he don't have no choice? Well, I guess he don't if he's not self-aware enough to notice that there is a choice operating there. Even if it's a choice to keep that face going.

Bad faces are a form of social pollution. Once at a food market I passed a women who had the most grotesque facial expression. She was giving "Bad Face". Her head, I'm sure, was just fine; just, that face.  Or, maybe her face matched her head? (Unknowable.) I was moved to take some action. Loud enough for her to hear I said to my partner, "Look at the face on that one." Suffice it to say our facially impaired shopper came out of herself.
 


Our Woundedness

 

There's no shortage of wisdom and spiritual advice around. It is too easy to give it quick assent. Of course, it makes sense. But acknowledgement is only on the intellectual level, and doesn't generate the healing response unless it stimulates one to practice. Practice is the key. And, patience. And, persistence. And, earnestness.

 

Here is a some good advice to put into practice . . .

 

"You carry your wound. With the ego, your whole being is a wound. And you carry it around. Nobody is interested in hurting you, nobody is positively waiting to hurt you; everybody is engaged in safeguarding his own wound. Who has got the energy? But still it happens, because you are so ready to be wounded, so ready, just waiting on the brink for anything.

You cannot touch a man of Tao. Why? - because there is no one to be touched. There is no wound. He is healthy, healed, whole. This word whole is beautiful. The word heal comes from the whole, and the word holy also comes from the whole. He is whole, healed, holy.

Be aware of your wound. Don't help it to grow, let it be healed; and it will be healed only when you move to the roots. The less the head, the more the wound will heal; with no head there is no wound. Live a headless life. Move as a total being, and accept things.

Just for twenty-four hours, try it - total acceptance, whatsoever happens. Someone insults you, accept it; don't react, and see what happens. Suddenly you will feel an energy flowing in you that you have not felt before."

  ~ Osho

 

 

 

 

Introducing . . . Aqua-Tock

An App First for iWatch

With the Aqua-Tock^® app for your iWatch you will have what in the mechanical world of watches is known as a "complication". Yes, all the prestige of a precision handcrafted masterpiece of a watch with all the latest technological innovation and functionality right at your finger tips.

Local time, day and date, second time zone, 24 hour digital readout, alarm, moon phase, timer, stop watch, elapsed time.

E-ver-y-thing . . . Completely and utterly customizable.

All graphic elements can be tailored to the user's personal preference for color and graphic style from a proprietary list of hundreds of options. Developer friendly, to customize your own chosen elements.

Not only do the hour, minute, second and second time zone hands move conventionally, the other elements change color on a selected frequency . . . AND . . . the graphics morph into a chosen set of various shapes.

There's a lot going on. Time tapestry? Complicated? Entertaining? Eye-full, or aweful. Why not both!

That's Aqua-Tock^®.

Available as soon as iWatch becomes a reality.

Leave comment expressing your interest. Or, your displeasure. Whatever.

Q: But seriously, what do you do with your time? What do you do when there are no more intentions, no goals?

Mooji: I relax in my joy.

Q: And then?

Mooji: For me, there is really no 'And then', 'And then' is an old dream. 'And now' is also a dream. I don't depend on them for my being. I give birth to them. They don't give birth to me. That is one of my old delusions. It comes because you are still identified with a life, an identity you want to keep, therefore you have to consciously think what to do with your time. I have swallowed time. I can play with it but it cannot swallow me. I don't have these kind of questions. If you really come into where I am pointing, these troubles won't be there for you. This is a dilemma that you will continue having when you return to this loyalty to identity. The thought that awareness is boring did not come from awareness. It came from the mind and you still gave attention to that, so resistance came and mind purchased more time from you.