Talkin' about those algorithms.
You know them. They're the super nerdy black box formulas that some random just still wet-behind-the-ears whippersnappers cook up to get ahead in their careers pleasing the boss by sorting out all the info on us hoi poloi so that the corporate overlords in all their selfless beneficence can let us know what there is for sale "that you might like". And, more insidiously, what you should think. Tell me, where did you come up with that cock sure political preference you got?
If you take what I just said as snarky ... C'mon man! [Can I say that gender-specific mention any more?] Have some snark with your snark.
I get it. All that content on the Internet, somebody's got to pay for it. If you don't know who that would be ... advertisers. And, advertisers like to know who they're "targeting" in that advertising, and what those who's want and need. Or should.
Enter the algorithm. Short explanation. Say all you are interested in is only looking around on the Internet at pigeons. Low and behold! Everywhere you go in the digital world there you'll be sure to see items relating to pigeons that you can buy with just a click away. I know that's a silly example. If you're anything like me, then we could cite "titties" as another example.
Okay, get it? Algorithms is what they use to put you together. "Put you together." That's also the term for when you go in for an oil change and come out with a new engine. You just got put together, bruh! Once when I worked with a bunch of guys in an R&D lab one of the men had his car in for repair. We pranked him with a fake phone call from the repair shop informing him he had a crack in his engine block and the whole engine was replaced. We watched in wicked glee as he blew a gasket.
So, where we goin' with this algorithm business?
Enter artificial intelligence [AI]. Algorithms on steroids. Algorithms of algorithms.
Here's a peek into the future ...
How about having a wall sized TV screen just there in front of your eyes? But ... no TV set. Just shows up with a push of a button. In thin fricken air! Heck, by the time something like what I'm describing goes on line, geez, all you have to do is think it and so it is. Not, like Jesus would be talking about, by faith; but like you'd be hooked up to some database in the sky, tethered there with an sending-receiving implant in your keppe. Imagine what wonderfulness marketers could cook up if they could access our thoughts!? Pigeons with titties?
[Let's fuck with them. Meditate. No thoughts. Power to the People!]
Anyhow ...
Imagine that life sized image screen right there in front of you, in plain old "thin air". How'd you do it, boy!?
Here's the short mansplaining version for all you female readers. [Assuming you happen at this very moment to identify as female. Boys will be girls. Who said that? How to tell for sure the Male chromosome from the Female chromosome? You pull down their genes.]
In your living room — or, if you're one of the small percents and have a viewing room, or two, or so — the set up will start with a granular tactile mapping of the room electronically. In real time, to be sure. An AI 3D image of said room is downloaded in real time to a program already set up with a mathematical algorithm created for such doings. For the more technically bent, you'll immediately know it as "Multi-Dimensional Recombinant Socoidal Interpolated Molecular Flagistronic Hype-Phasic Reformatted Quantum Pulse Tranfer Uploading Reconfiguration and Throughput Neo-Aliased Spot On Damn Straight You Bet Ya'."
Don't you just love how they cuted it up at the end?
For short: M-D.R.S.I.M.F.H-P.R.Q.P.T.U.R.T.N-A.S.O.D.S.Y.B.Y.
When I first heard about it I got so excited I farted. They told me when I actually saw it for reals I would shit my pants.
That smarty pants algorithm can get right down into the granular molecularity of your digs and jiggle those protons and electrons such that when the application is running an image appears right there. It's Quantum, baby. Literally. That fucking algorithm even knows how to get into that thin air and factor in temperature, air pressure, and even the aroma of what's cooking in the kitchen.
Sometimes I think that it's already in use on the political front.
Why not? Radios did it. That thing stuck to your ear, for sure. Your mother yelling at you while you're in the lavatory wondering what you're doing with your hands. Maybe, after all, those smartphones our hands are stroking 24/7 are a blessing in disguise. Idle hands and that devil guy [lady?] ... you know how that goes.
Imagine the technological leap of it and our astonishment being similar to that at the time when the motion picture was first new. Or, photographs. Heck, kids today assume all only we ever had was hand devices to make telephone calls. Once there were only horses to get around. Cars. Electric? Ah, progress!
Speaking of which ... is Steve Jobs the modern day Techno Savior? Or, just an misguided enabler of our stupified, distracted captive state of ignorance?
If you're reading this online, expect to see ads littering your social media feeds and those assorted websites you visit at 3 o'clock in the morning when nobody's looking. Oh, they're looking. Are you liking?
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