Jesus ... The Early Years

 Jesus ... The Early Years

We don't have a lot on The Jesus in his youth. Recently unearthed records shed new light. Fun times ...

[As found written in the Gospel according to one David D. Wronski.]

A few excerpts...

• There was that time that he ran away from home and started to pick a fight with the poobahs in the Temple. And, His cheeky excuse to His Mom; something about doing His"Father's" work. Imagine how Joseph took that! Zen it up, Joe! Chop wood. Don't overthink it.

• What about the neighbors? "Hey, Mary and Joseph! Can you keep the shutters closed at night ... the Light is keeping us up." Later, that same Light would be a welcome blessing. 

• And, here's a fly on the wall report from the Cana wedding shindig ...

"Hey, lady, the wine ran out. Can you talk to Mr. Magic over there? 

"Son ..."

"Not now Ma, I'm on a roll!" [Literally ... playing dice with the boys outside in the alley. Winning, of course. Big. No surprise there.]

"Listen here, boy! The vino done gone, and we need some more."

"But, Ma! I don't have time for that!"

In typical Jewish Mother fashion ... "All that sweattin' in the cold — and, after such along trip ... in a manger! Would you believe it! Oy! Now I get this? Some thanks!"

"Okay, okay. Don't get all verklempt! Spare me the tsuris!" 

• Sure He was all about His Father's business. He was also a Carpenter too. Joseph, thinking to himself ... "I told Him to measure twice, cut once. But, no, not Him! Measure once, cut once. But darn — some translations use the stronger "damn" — that Boy gets it right every time. Amazing Grace!"

[Rather interesting, don't you think, to contemplate how this Carpenter was nailed to a cross of wood.]

• Even as a Kid, JC had it tough. The little Jewish boys and girls — only two categories in those backward times — hated His guts. Such a smarty. Always winning every game. Lesson: We might live in hyper-tolerant times, but "you be you" wasn't a thing back then. So, even today, be happy; but don't be too happy.

[There's this joke: Jesus and God are golfing. Hole in one. Hole in one. Then, quelle surprise, Jesus hits one into the water. So, there He is — always the show off — walking on water looking for His ball — I know, as if He doesn't already know where it is. The next party comes up and sees this, asks God "Who does that guy think he is? Jesus Christ?" God says, "Well, He is Jesus Christ. But He thinks He's Tiger Woods".]

• Jesus was a card. A really sharp sense of humor. [I sure do hope so, me going into the lighter side of His story this way.] 

Sarcastic too. Like in this little known exchange at the Last Supper:

At the Last Supper Jesus spoke to the brethren saying, "Today one of you will betray me". Peter sprang to his feet, "It is me Lord, is it me?". "No Peter, it is not you." John then asks, "Is it me Lord. is it me? ." No, John it is not you. Then, Matthew ... same question. Again, "No, not you Matthew". Then that Judas asks, "Is is me Jesus, is it me Jesus?". Jesus gives him a look and says, "IS IT ME JESUS, IS IT ME JESUS!".