𝐎𝐥𝐝𝐞 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐲 𝐃𝐨𝐜𝐭𝐨𝐫 ... 𝐗𝐗𝐗 𝐀𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐭 ... 𝐈𝐧𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐬 𝐅.

This guy named Dave goes to the Doctor with a concern. Okay, stop a minute. BTW This is about a guy named "Dave". That's the writers name too, but it's just a coinquidink.

You see first there was a obvious pattern to it. Dave would be steppin' out on the town as is his per usual, and seeing him his friends would say, "Dude, you don't look too good! Real bad. Whassa matter, Boy?" Dave snap back, "But, I feel fine!" "Peachy keen!" "Fine and dandy!" "Spot on!" "You jivin' me?"

This exchange would go down often enough however what to make Dave think it's time for a visit to the old Doc.

So, there he goes. One step into the Doctor's office and the Doctor gets up abruptly, runs over to him and grabs hold of him: "Get in here, Boy! You ain't lookin' so good! Bad!"

"Now, what seems to be the trouble?"

"Well, Doc, that's just it. Everybody's tellin' me that I look bad, but I feel fine! Damn good, in fact. What goin' on, huh?"

"I see", says Doc. 

"Let's see", says Doc.

He's called "Doctor" [or "Doc" for brevity, if you're into that thing. (TU The Dude ... The Big Lubowski.)] But, he's not a Doctor in the conventional sense. No formal schooling. Self-taught, but well and thorough. And, kind. Worked it down to the Four Pillars of Health". Some use the term "whittled". "Quintessence" if you wanna get fancy.

The Doc reaches for his obviously well used, self-published book of symptom diagnosis.

Studiously leafing through the tome ...

"Let's see ... 'Looks good, feels good'. No, Boy, that definitely ain't you!

"Looks bad, feels bad." Nah.

" 'Looks good, feels bad.' No, that not you neither. (We got plenty of pills for that!) And I know a really good plastic surgeon."

"Okay. I got it! Here you are ... 'Looks bad, feels good'.

The anticipation is killing poor Dave. "So? So? What is it? Tell me!"

 "Boy, you a Pussy!"