We Wronski's are widely represented in all fields. The arts. Letters. Science. But, with the "Wronski" genetics you can bet there's gonna be a twist or two in the mix.
Meet Uncle Samuel B. "Wrong Way" Wronski. He got the nickname "Twippler" on account of all those W's; "VTrip" to friends. That's on account of the "W" in the Polish tongue is pronounced like a "V". Kapishe?
Purely as an aside, he was regularly dressed from Tripler, New York City. Mad Ave, don't you know; midtown. He was a class act sartorially, and the name of the shop had a sort of kismet thing going on with him. You know the store? They say it made Brooks Brothers look "racy". For those in the unwashed hinterlands, that's like saying the new-on-the-scene singer Aurora makes Taylor look like a school dance wallflower.
Girls will be girls. Thank heavens for them. Such a lovely garden of variety. Huh?
Anyhow ...
Seen here in the lab watching those dials and tweaking those buttons. As brainy a Wronski there never was one more so; but, like I said, things "Wronski" come with a twist. Which, by the way, is the way he likes his Martinis; 3 olives and a twist. Shaken or stirred? No. "Just pour that stuff in the glass, I know how to stir that shit by my own self". Out of his starchy lab coat and premises, our guy wasn't shy with the lingo.
Okay. That Wronski "twist". Seems Uncle, as good a scientist there was never another one to top him, he had unusual choices when it came to research study topics. While you would expect someone of his lofty caliber, academically and scientifically, that he would be out to find something to save the world, or maybe something that would top sliced bread or the classic mouse trap. No. He for reasons known only to hisself he chose from the other side of the scientific menu. "How many Angels fit on the point of a pin?" He's the leading scholar in that area of inquiry. "Why meatballs don't bounce." That's him too. The list is long. "If you're French in the kitchen, in the bathroom you're European?" The humorous aspect of things was not lost on him. In fact, that factor may be a clue to his mental metrics for selecting topics for his studies.
It should be noted that there are some in the scientific community who are so gonzo over doing research as a thing to do in itself, that areas of inquiry are not so much a consideration on where to investigate. The critical factor has more to do with if anybody else would buy it. Science has its political side. If there was enough interest you can be sure-as-shootin' that someone would launch a serious investigation as to which tastes better; Dairy Queen with a twist this way, or the other way. This point by way of caution to not just take it as gospel when you hear that "scientists say" or "science has discovered"; and variations of such claims. Someone, given enough interest, would spend long hours and big money finding out the tensile strength of pubic hairs. And, to be sure, with all the variables such as hair color, twist, coverage. Maybe throw in the variable when the carpet don't match the drapes.
You've been advised, Pilgrim. Be like King Kong, don't take no guff from the airlines.
Uncle Sammy was not one of those sort. He marched to his own drum. No politic kissing up for him. No one knows how and why he looked into what he looked into. He did fall short on the popularity index given his rather left field choices.
Perhaps the area he is best known for in the realms of science is his extensive body of research work on the subject arena of which way to face the Cow as a determinant of the sex selection of the Calf. North, or South. And — hey, this is science! — the range of angles to the East and West from those cardinal points. Well, that's the general area of study anyway. His laser focus specialty was even more rarified: "How Many Wrinkles In A Bull's Ass?" That's right. Why would anyone choose that as a research study subject? It's called "pure" research. You know like how all that grant money that goes to looking up stuff that seems to have no particular application that anyone can think of. But, you never know. The shape of fish fins may in fact have influence on the currents of the oceans. You never know until you check it out. Now what do Bull ass wrinkles have to do with anything?
Bend over, drop trough; let's find out. Uncle will log the count.
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