Great Uncle Vussihond Grabashko Wronski

Great Uncle Vussihond Grabashko Wronski. Pictured here in 1890 in Paris at the Club Allegro Fortissimo.  "Just us girls." That was his slogan. [Pick up line, it turns out.]

Uncle was ahead of the times. Way. He identified as a woman; or, that's what he said he did. Imagine that. Way back then. There probably were others of similar persuasion. But VGW was next level. [Typical of all Wronski's.] He put it out there. Some balls, if I may put it ironically. 

Made for easy access in some circles. Most of his many escapades have gone undocumented. Except for recollections by some senior Wronski's of the tales told. But, here, in that photo we get a rare glimpse of Great Uncle in his glory. And whatever else he could get his hands on. And, from the looks of it, he indeed did have his hands full. It was hot in there. And, it was hot. You can imagine. BTW, everyone went away satisfied. Uncle, after all, had the Wronski kavorka. In full measure.

He was a bold one. As if that isn't already obvious. The story goes that he finagled himself into a job as a lifeguard in a mikvah. Definitely not kosher. But, when they finally had enough of his shenanigans, Uncle casually dropped, "So call me pisher". 

No that's not Great Uncle. The Apple doesn't fall far from the tree. That's his oldest [of 13 kids, mind you — his words, "Lucky 13".] "Hollywood" Dave Wronski. My namesake. The story goes that he had a permanent phone at his table at the Beverly Hills Hotel Bar. And, also permanent, a rotating roster of stars, starlets, and aspiring actresses. He was a casting director. He had a fresh new couch installed almost on a weekly basis. It drove the studio property manager nuts. He not only needed a new sofa every week but insisted that it be different and even better than the previous.

But, I digress. Perhaps the most infamous of the small handful of stories that survive in memory, was the "Night of a Thousand Stars" party Uncle threw for his 40th birthday. On his hand calligraphed invites he coined the now-famous line, "If you can't be there, you be square". No doubt you've come across that chestnut a time or three?

So, as you would expect everyone was there. Clark, Carol, Hedy, Myrna, all the Dick's, Lucille, Norma, both Jimmy's, Charlie, Paulette, Cary, Ingrid ... And, on and on.

Here he is in an appropriately, suitable-for-all-ages retouched photo canoodling with a bevy of hopefuls. They got his hopes up too!

Want more? Here's the full house of Wronski. Behold!