Until I thought about my Uncle Spacetuchek Rocketskovich Wronski — Wrocket Wronski. As you clearly can tell by his moniker, going up there was written in his destiny. You wouldn't have heard of his exploits on account of he thrived in a time before narcissism was a thing. He just did what he did. Didn't give a Pierogi who knew.
Pictured here, our dear brave Uncle upon reentry. Bezos no doubt got the hat idea from him. How he even knew about Uncle's space adventure, who knows. Except, with him having the wherewithal to deliver packages in a day, you can imagine what tech he has at his disposal. [We're all just dots on an Amazon algorithm.]
It all started when Wrocket Wronski was a lad, lighting off bottle rockets. Not just around the 4th of July time; hey, fireworks are for any time you want to celebrate life! You heard about the Jet Pack. He was an early adopter. Predated Bezos too, what with jetpacking around town delivering groceries for Babcha Wronski's Polish store.
How he got the bucks to get a rig into the limits of the stratosphere is a whole nother story. He started his earning career with a paper route. And, like Jeff, moved up the ladder to eventually own the newspaper. Actually, a chain of newspapers. Which ones, we can't say. Non-disclosure. Like I said, he was a behind-the-scenes player. Well, until he wasn't; I'm mean, rocketing up and all for the whole world to see.
So now you know. But, that's not all. Uncle is credited with being the brains behind a lot of firsts. Soft serve Ice Cream; yah, that be him. The move away from the mono-girdle to showing the natural curves of the tush. His word, "tush". And, maybe his most excellent and wonderful invention, the electric knife. Just what the connection those few of his many inventions have in common, I don't have a clue. He was rather ubiquitronic in his tastes and tendencies.
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