Just Who the F*#k Do You Think You Are Anyway?

The Avadhoota Gita is written by Sage Dattatreya. The Avadhoota Gita is regarded by almost all sages as the greatest treatise on Advaita Vedanta.

Chapter One

1) Truly, it is by the grace of God
That the knowledge of Unity arises within.
Then a man is released at last
From the great fear of life and death.
2) All that exists in this world of forms
Is nothing but the Self, and the Self alone.
How, then, shall the Infinite worship Itself?
Shiva is one undivided Whole!
3) The five subtle elements that combine to compose this world
Are as illusory as the water in a desert mirage;
To whom, then, shall I bow my head?
I, myself, am the stainless One!
4) Truly, all this universe is only my Self;
It is neither divided nor undivided.
How can I even assert that it exists?
I can only view it with wonder and awe!
5) What, then, is the heart of the highest truth,
The core of knowledge, the wisdom supreme?
It is, “I am the Self, the formless One;
By my very nature, I am pervading all.”
6) That one God who shines within everything,
Who is formless like the cloudless sky,
Is the pure, stainless, Self of all.
Without any doubt, that is who I am.
7) I’m the infinite and immutable One;
I’m pure Consciousness, without any form.
I don’t know-how, or to whom,
Joy and sorrow appear in this world.
I have no mental karma, either good or bad;
I have no physical karma, either good or bad.
I have no verbal karma, either good or bad. 1
I’m beyond the senses; I’m the pure nectar of
the knowledge of the Self.
9) The mind is formless like the sky,
Yet it wears a million faces.
It appears as images from the past, or as worldly forms;
But it is not the supreme Self.
10) I’m One; I’m all of this!
Yet I’m undifferentiated, beyond all forms.
How, then, do I regard the Self?
As both the Unmanifest and the manifest world.
11) You, also, are the One! Why don’t you understand?
You’re the unchanging Self, the same within everyone.
You’re truly illimitable; you’re the all-pervading Light.
For you, how can there be any distinction between the day and the night? 2
12) Understand that the Self is continuous Being,
The One within all, without any division.
The “I” is both the subject and the supreme object of meditation;
How can you see two in That which is One?
13) Neither birth nor death pertain to you;
You have never been a body.
It is well known that “All is Brahman”;
The scriptures have stated this in various ways.
14) You are That which is both inside and out;
You’re Shiva; you’re everything everywhere.
Why, then, are you so deluded?
Why do you run about like a frightened ghost?
15) There’s no such thing as union or separation for me or for you.
There is no me, no you, no manifold world;
All is the Self, and the Self alone.
16) You can’t be heard, or smelled, or tasted;
You can’t be seen, or sensed by touch.
Truly, you’re the ultimate Reality;
Why, then, should you be troubled so?
17) Neither birth, nor death, nor the active mind,
Nor bondage, nor liberation, affects you at all.
Why then, my dear, do you grieve in this way?
You and I have no name or form.
18) mind, why are you so deluded?
Why do you run about like a frightened ghost?
Become aware of the indivisible Self!
Be rid of attachment; be happy and free!
19) Truly, you’re the unchanging Essence of everything;
You’re the unmoving Unity; you’re boundless Freedom.
You have neither attachment nor aversion;
Why, then, do you worry and succumb to desire?
20) All the scriptures unanimously declare
That the pure, formless, undifferentiated Reality
Is the Essence of all forms.
There is absolutely no doubt about this.
21) All forms, understand, are only temporary manifestations;
Only the formless Essence eternally exists.
Once this truth is realized,
There’s no more necessity to be reborn.
22) The one Reality is ever the same;
This is what all the wise men say.
Whether you embrace or renounce desires,
The one Consciousness remains unaffected.
23) If you see the world as other than the Self,
can that be the experience of Unity?
If you see it as the Self, can that be the experience of Unity?
If it’s seen as both the Self and not the Self,
can that be the experience of Unity?
The true state of freedom is to see everything as One.
24) You are the pure Reality, always the same;
You have no body, no birth and no death.
How, then, can you say, “I know the Self”?
Or how can you say, “I don’t know the Self”?
25) The saying, “That thou art,”
Affirms the reality of your own true Self.
The saying, “Not this, not this,”
Denies the reality of the five composite elements. 3
26) The Self is the identity of everyone;
You are everything, the unbroken Whole.
The thinker and the thought do not even exist!
mind, how can you go on thinking so shamelessly!
27) I do not know Shiva; how can I speak of Him?
I do not know Shiva; how can I worship Him?
I, myself, am Shiva, the primal Essence of all;
My nature, like the sky, remains ever the same.
28) I am the Essence, the all-pervading Essence;
I have no form of my own.
I’m beyond the division of subject and object;
How could I possibly be an object to myself?
29) There’s no such thing as an infinite form;
The infinite Reality has no form of its own.
The one Self, the supreme Reality,
Neither creates, nor sustains, nor destroys anything.
30) You are that pure and unchanging Essence;
You have no body, no birth, and no death.
For you, how could such a thing as delusion be?
How could delusion exist for the Self?
31) When a jar is broken, the space that was inside
Merges into the space outside.
In the same way, my mind has merged in God;
To me, there appears no duality.
32) Truly, there’s no jar, no space within;
There’s no body and no soul encased.
Please understand; everything is Brahman.
There’s no subject, no object, no separate parts.
33) Everywhere, always, and in everything,
Know this: the Self alone exists.
Everything, both the Void and the manifested world,
Is nothing but my Self; of this I am certain.
34) There are no divine scriptures, no world, no imperative religious practices;
There are no gods, no classes or races of men,
No stages of life, no superior or inferior;
There’s nothing but Brahman, the supreme Reality.
35) The subject and object are unseparated and inseparable;
That undivided One is you.
When this is so, when no “other” exists,
How could the Self be objectively perceived?
36) Non-duality is taught by some;
Some others teach duality.
They don’t understand that the all-pervading Reality
Is beyond both duality and non-duality.
37) There is no color or sound to the one Reality;
It has no qualities at all.
How can one even think or speak of That
Which is far beyond both mind and speech?
38) When you know all this universe of forms
To be as vacant as the sky,
Then you’ll know Brahman;
Duality will forevermore cease to be.
39) To some, the Self appears as other;
To me, the Self is I.
Like undivided space, One alone exists.
How, then, could the subject and object of meditation be two?
40) Nothing of what I do or eat,
Or give or take,
Exists for me;
I’m Purity itself, beyond birth and death.
41) Know that the whole of the universe is without any form.
Know that the whole of the universe is forever unchanging.
Know that the whole of the universe is unstained by its contents.
Know that the whole of the universe is of the nature of God.
42) You are the ultimate Reality; have no doubt.
The Self is not something known by the mind;
The Self is the very one who knows!
How, then, could you think to know the Self?
43) Maya? Maya? How could that be?
A shadow? A shadow? It doesn’t exist.
The Reality is One; it’s everything.
It’s all-pervasive; nothing else exists. 4
44) I have no beginning, middle, or end;
I have never been, nor will ever be, bound.
My nature is stainless; I’m Purity itself.
This I know as a certainty.
45) To me, neither the elemental particles
Nor the entire universe exists;
Brahman alone is everything.
Where, then, are the castes or the stages of life?
46) I always recognize everything
As the one indivisible Reality.
That undivided One constitutes the world,
The Void, all space, and the five elements.
47) It’s neither neuter, nor masculine, nor feminine.
It possesses neither intellect nor the power of thought.
How, then, can you imagine that the Self
Is either blissful or not blissful?
48) The practice of yoga will not lead you to purity;
Silencing the mind will not lead you to purity;
The Guru’s instructions will not lead you to purity;
That purity is your Essence. It’s your very own Consciousness!
49) Neither the gross body, consisting of five elements,
Nor the subtle body exists;
Everything is the Self alone.
How, then, could the fourth state or the other three states exist? 5
50) I am not bound, nor am I liberated;
I’m Brahman, and nothing else.
I’m not the doer, nor am I the enjoyer;
I do not pervade anything, nor am I pervaded.
51) If ice and water are mixed together,
There is no difference between one and the other.
It is the same with matter and spirit; 6
This is very clear to me.
52) If I’ve never been bound,
I can never be liberated.
How could you think that the Self —
With form or without — could be bound?
53) I know the nature of the one supreme Being;
Like space, It extends everywhere.
And all the forms that appear within It
Are like the (illusory) water of a desert mirage.
54) I have neither Guru nor initiation;
I have no discipline, and no duty to perform.
Understand that I’m the formless sky;
I’m the self-existent Purity.
55) You are the one Purity! You have no body.
You are not the mind; you’re the supreme Reality.
“I’m the Self, the supreme Reality!”
Say this without any hesitancy.
56) Why do you weep, O mind? Why do you cry?
Take the attitude: “I am the Self!”
dear one, go beyond the many!
Drink the supreme nectar of Unity!
57) You do not possess intelligence,
nor do you possess ignorance;
Nor do you possess a mixture of these two.
You are, yourself, Intelligence —
An Intelligence that never ceases, never strays.
58) I’m not attained by knowledge, or samadhi, or yoga,
Or by the passage of time, or the Guru’s instructions;
I’m Consciousness Itself, the ultimate Reality.
Like the sky, though I change, I am ever the same.
59) I have no birth, no death, and no duties;
I’ve never done anything, either good or bad.
I’m purely Brahman, beyond all qualities; 7
How could either bondage or liberation exist for me?
60) If God is all-pervading,
Immovable, whole, without any parts,
Then there is no division in Him at all.
How, then, could He be regarded as “within” or “without”?
61) The whole universe is shining as One,
Without any split or break, or separate parts.
The idea of “Maya” is itself the great delusion;
Duality and Non-duality are merely concepts of the mind.
62) The world of form and the formless Void:
Neither of these exists independently.
In the One, there is neither separation nor union;
Truly, there is nothing but Shiva alone.
63) You have no mother, or father, or brother;
You have no wife, or son, or friend.
You have no attachments or non-attachments;
How, then, do you justify this anxiety of mind?
64) mind, there is neither the day (of manifestation)
nor the night (of dissolution);
My continuous Light neither rises nor sets.
How could a wise man sincerely believe
That the formless Existence is affected by forms?
65) It is not undivided, nor is It divided;
It experiences neither sorrow nor joy.
It is not the universe, nor is It not the universe;
Understand that the Self is eternally One.
66) I’m not the doer, nor am I the enjoyer;
I have no karma, either present or past. 8
I have no body, nor are all these bodies mine.
What could be “mine” or “not-mine” to me?
67) In me, there is no impurity such as attachment;
There is no bodily pain for me.
Understand that I’m the Self; I’m Unity.
I’m vast as space, like the sky above.
68) mind, my friend, what’s the good of so much speaking?
mind, my friend, all of this has been made quite clear.
I’ve told you what I know to be true;
You’re the ultimate Reality. You’re unbounded, like space.
69) It doesn’t matter where a yogi may die;
It doesn’t matter how he may die.
He becomes absorbed in the Absolute,
As the space within a jar becomes absorbed
(in the outer space when the jar is destroyed).
70) Whether he dies near a holy river,
Or in an outcaste’s hut,
Whether he is conscious or unconscious at his death,
He merges into Freedom, into Unity, alone.
71) All duties, wealth, enjoyments, liberation —
All people and objects in the world as well —
Everything, in the eyes of a yogi,
Is like the (illusory) water in a desert mirage.
72) There is no action,
Either present, future, or past,
Which has been performed or enjoyed by me.
This I know, without any doubt.
73) The Avadhut lives alone in an empty hut;
With a pure, even mind, he is always content.
He moves about, naked and free,
Aware that all this is only the Self.
74) Where neither the third state (deep sleep) nor the
fourth state (samadhi) exists,
Where everything is experienced as the Self alone,
Where neither righteousness nor unrighteousness exists,
Could bondage or liberation be living there?
75) In that state where one knows nothing at all,
This versified knowledge does not even exist.
So, now, while I’m in the state of samarasa, 9
I, the Avadhut, have spoken of the Truth.
76) It is meaningless to differentiate between the Void and the world-appearance;
It’s pointless to speak of “the Real” and “the unreal”;
One Self, unchanging, exists alone.
This is what all the scriptures declare.

Chapter Two

1) You may be young, unlearned, and addicted to pleasures;
You may be a servant or a householder; it doesn’t matter.
Does a jewel require a Guru in order to be valuable?
Or is it worthless simply because it’s covered with mud?
2) You may lack learning or literary skill;
You don’t require such qualities as these.
Hold fast to the Truth, and let go of all else;
Even an unpainted boat will take you across.
3) The animate and the inanimate world;
Yet It always remains in Its own peaceful state;
It is always pure Consciousness, as calm as the sky.
4) Though appearing as the animate and inanimate world,
The Self remains forever One.
Where, then, is the division?
There is no duality, it is clear to me.
5) Indeed, I am the highest Truth! I’m Shiva!
I contain the world, both subtle and gross.
I do not come, nor do I go.
I have no movement; I have no form.
6) I’m unaffected by my component parts;
Therefore, though the gods may worship me,
In my perfect wholeness,
I recognize no distinctions such as gods.
7) Neither doubt nor ignorance
Can cause the slightest ripple in me.
Let the modifications of the mind continue to occur;
They’re merely bubbles rising to the surface of a pond.
The ephemeral elements that form all things
Manifest in many different ways:
Some things appear soft, others hard;
Some things appear sweet, and others sour.
9) The qualities of clearness, coldness, and softness
Are but qualities of water.
Likewise, matter and spirit (prakriti and purusha)
Are but qualities of the one Existence.
10) Beyond all speech, beyond all names,
Beyond the subtlest of all subtle things;
Beyond mind, intellect, and the five senses,
The stainless Lord of the universe remains ever One.
11) If the universal Self becomes known,
How could “I” continue to be?
How could “you”
Or the sentient and insentient world still be?
12) The Self is said to be like the sky.
Indeed, It is like the sky;
It’s pure Consciousness, without any stain.
It is truly the all-embracing Whole.
13) It remains unaffected,
Though It takes the form of earth, air, water and fire.
Though It takes all these forms,
It remains always the same.
14) All infinite space is pervaded by the Self,
But nothing else pervades the Self.
It is simultaneously within and without;
It cannot be limited or divided in parts.
15) It’s extremely subtle and cannot be seen;
It’s primary to all qualities, the yogis say.
It is the state that underlies
All other temporary states of the mind.
16) By practicing yoga unceasingly,
Without attachment to anything,
Little by little, a yogi is freed
From all effects of the qualities (gunas).
17) Against the dreadful poison of worldly lust,
Which deludes men’s minds,
There is only one antidote:
The nectarean awareness of the independent Self.
18) The subtle images are seen within,
And the manifold forms are seen without;
But the independent Experiencer of both
Is known by all seers as the inner Self.
19) Experienced without, It’s the universe;
Experienced within, It’s the power of life.
And deep within that inner life
The real milk-of-the-coconut resides.
20) The outer knowledge is of the coconut’s husk;
The subtler knowledge is of the meat within.
And concealed within that subtle core
Is the coconut-milk of Consciousness — the Self.
21) On a full-moon night, the moon is seen
By unhazed eyes as one, alone.
The Reality should also be seen this way;
Where two are seen, that sight’s impaired.
22) Because there is one, and only one,
The mind which perceives two is false.
He who teaches this is truly great;
He deserves a thousand accolades.
23) A Guru gives the gift of wisdom
To both the wise and the foolish man;
But only he crosses over this ocean (of life)
Who attains the knowledge of Truth for himself.
24) He who is free from attachment, free from hate —
Engaged in securing the good of all,
Firm in knowledge and steady of mind —
Will reach at last to the highest state.
25) The space inside a jar merges in the space outside
When the jar is destroyed;
The yogi, when the body’s destroyed,
Merges into the universal Consciousness — his own true Self.
26) The destiny of those devoted to action
Is the result of their thought at the end of their life;
But the destiny of a yogi established in Unity
Is not determined by his thought at the end.
27) One may express in speech
The destiny of those devoted to actions,
But the destiny of those established in yoga
Cannot be told; they go beyond speech.
28) A yogi has no particular path;
He simply renounces imagining things.
His mind then ceases of its own accord,
And the perfect state just naturally occurs.
29) Wherever a yogi may meet his end —
Whether beside a holy river or in an outcaste’s hut —
His births are through;
He merges in Brahman.
30) He who has realized the innate, unborn,
in comprehensible Self
Never becomes stained while enjoying the fruits of his desires;
He remains always free of stain, free of karma.
The ascetic, concentrated on the Self, is never bound.
31) He goes beyond illusion, beyond comparison, beyond form,
Beyond any support, beyond the body and its nourishment;
Beyond duality, fear, desire, and powers,
It’s the Lord, the Self, the Eternal, he attains.
32) His attainment is not the Vedas,
nor initiation, nor a clean-shaven head;
It is not a Guru, or disciples, or bountiful treasures,
Or the practice of postures, or wearing of ashes;
It’s the Lord, the Self, the Eternal, he attains.
33) He does not envision the form of the great Shiva,
or Shakti, or any other gods;
He does not see kundalini, or light-forms, or the feet of God;
Nor does he perceive his own soul, like a jar with its contents;
It’s the Lord, the Self, the Eternal, he attains.
34) That is the Essence from which the sentient
and insentient universe is born;
It is like the ocean which gives birth to the foam on its surface.
It is That by which everything is maintained and dissolved;
It’s the Lord, the Self, the Eternal, he attains.
35) His attainment is not breath-control,
or fixed-stares, or yogic-postures;
Nothing becomes learned or unlearned at all.
His attainment is not the purification of the nerves;
It’s the Lord, the Self, the Eternal, he attains.
36) He does not attain a “many” or a
“One” that is separate from himself;
It is not something other, like an object with length and breadth.
It cannot be objectively proven, or compared with anything;
It’s the Lord, the Self, the Eternal, he attains.
37) He may or may not attain concentration;
He may or may not attain freedom from the senses;
He may or may not abandon all actions;
It’s the Lord, the Self, the Eternal, he attains.
38) Beyond mind, intellect, body, and sense-organs;
Beyond the subtle elements, and the five gross elements;
Beyond the sense of ego, and even the ethereal body;
It’s the Lord, the Self, the Eternal, he attains.
39) Transcending all dictates, he abides in the Self;
His mind becomes free of the thought of duality.
Neither purity, nor impurity, nor distinctions of sex,
Nor fortune, nor misfortune, has any meaning for him.
40) If the mind and speech can’t reveal the Self,
How could the Guru’s teachings reveal the Self?
How could a Guru reveal with words
That Essence of existence which is self-illuminating?

Chapter Three

1) The distinction between “with qualities” and
“without qualities” does not exist in Him;
He’s beyond both attachment and non-attachment;
Stainless, He’s beyond all forms.
He’s beyond both qualities and the absence of qualities;
Though formless, He’s the substance of all forms.
So how can I worship that Shiva, who exists everywhere, like space!
2) Shiva is not white or yellow; He has no color at all.
That supreme Shiva is both the cause and the effect.
Truly, I am beyond the process of thought; I’m Shiva.
Tell me, friend, how can I bow the Self unto the Self?
3) I’m neither beginningless nor with beginning; I’m a Sun that never sets.
I’m neither concealed nor unconcealed; I’m a Sun that never sets.
I’m neither illumined nor unillumined; I’m a Sun that never sets.
I’m nectarean knowledge, unchanging bliss; I’m everywhere, like space.
4) I’m desireless, with desire; how shall I speak of that?
I’m unattached, with attachment; how shall I speak of that?
I have no substance, and yet I have; what shall I say of that?
I’m nectarean knowledge, unchanging bliss; I’m everywhere, like space.
5) I’m undivided, yet I’m every separate form;
what shall I say of that?
I’m divided, yet I’m in everything; what shall I say of that?
I’m both eternal and non-eternal; what shall I say of that?
I’m nectarean knowledge, unchanging bliss; I’m everywhere, like space.
6) I’m neither gross nor subtle; I neither come nor go.
I have no beginning, end, or middle; I’m neither great nor small.
I’m telling all the secrets of the supreme Reality:
I’m nectarean knowledge, unchanging bliss; I’m everywhere, like space.
7) Know well that all sense organs are made of emptiness;
Know well that all sense-objects are, likewise, emptiness.
Know well that I’m the stainless One; I’m neither bound nor free.
I’m nectarean knowledge, unchanging bliss; I’m everywhere, like space.
I’m beyond the intellect and inaccessible to the intellect;
it cannot reach to me.
I’m beyond vision, and inaccessible to vision; it cannot reach to me.
I’m nectarean knowledge, unchanging bliss; I’m everywhere, like space.
9) I have no karma; I’m the sacrificial fire
in which all karma’s consumed.
I have no sorrow; I’m the sacrificial fire
in which all sorrow’s consumed.
I have no craving; I’m the sacrificial fire
in which all craving’s consumed.
I’m nectarean knowledge, unchanging bliss;
I’m everywhere, like space.
10) Sinless, I consume all sins; I’m the sacrificial fire.
Dutiless, I consume all duties; I’m the sacrificial fire.
Boundless, I consume all bondage; I’m the sacrificial fire.
I’m nectarean knowledge, unchanging bliss; I’m everywhere, like space.
11) I’m beyond non-existence and beyond existence;
these don’t pertain to me.
I’m beyond both union and separation; these don’t pertain to me.
I’m beyond both unconsciousness and consciousness;
these don’t pertain to me.
I’m nectarean knowledge, unchanging bliss; I’m everywhere, like space.
12) I’m never swayed by attraction or repulsion; I never imagine these.
I’m never swayed by happiness or grief; I never imagine these.
I’m never swayed by passion or dispassion; I never imagine these.
I’m nectarean knowledge, unchanging bliss; I’m everywhere, like space.
13) The clinging-vine of worldly existence cannot affect me at all.
Contentment and pleasures, however many,
cannot affect me at all.
The bondage of ignorance —this world of appearance —
cannot affect me at all.
I’m nectarean knowledge, unchanging bliss;
I’m everywhere, like space.
14) The worldly turmoil produced by rajo-guna
has no affect on me.
The suffering produced by tamo-guna has no affect on me.
The pleasure of righteousness produced
by sattva-guna has no affect on me.
I’m nectarean knowledge, unchanging bliss;
I’m everywhere, like space.
15) Neither troubles, nor sorrows, n
or pleasures have any affect on my intellect;
Nor can the difficulties attending yoga have any affect on my mind.
Whatever may happen to stir up the ego cannot affect me at all.
I’m nectarean knowledge, unchanging bliss; I’m everywhere, like space.
16) I’ve put an end to both wavering and unwavering;
I don’t even imagine thought.
I’ve put an end to both dreaming and waking;
I neither sleep nor wake.
I’ve put an end to animate and inanimate;
I’m neither moving nor still.
I’m nectarean knowledge, unchanging bliss;
I’m everywhere, like space.
17) I’m not the knower, nor something to be known;
nor am I the cause of knowledge.
I’m beyond the realm of speech, the mind and the intellect;
How could the ultimate Reality ever be described by words?
I’m nectarean knowledge, unchanging bliss; I’m everywhere, like space.
18) I’m beyond both division and non-division;
I’m the absolute Reality.
Within? Without? How could I be? I’m the absolute Reality.
I was never created; I’m not an object with substance.
I’m nectarean knowledge, unchanging bliss; I’m everywhere, like space.
19) I’m beyond the sorrows of attachment; I’m the one Reality.
I’m beyond the sorrows of destiny; I’m the one Reality.
I’m beyond the sorrows of worldly existence; I’m the one Reality.
I’m nectarean knowledge, unchanging bliss; I’m everywhere, like space.
20) Since I am not the first three states of mind,
how could I be the fourth (samadhi)?
Since I am not any of the three kinds of time,
how could I be a fourth?
I’m the root of serenity, the primal serenity;
I’m the absolute Reality.
I’m nectarean knowledge, unchanging bliss;
I’m everywhere, like space.
21) Terms such as “long” or “short” do not apply to me.
Terms such as “broad” or “thin” do not apply to me.
Descriptions such as “angular” or “rotund” do not apply to me.
I’m nectarean knowledge, unchanging bliss; I’m everywhere, like space.
22) No mother, father, daughter, or son ever belonged to me.
Neither birth, death, nor the mind ever belonged to me.
I’m always unwavering, always steady; I’m the absolute Reality.
I’m nectarean knowledge, unchanging bliss; I’m everywhere, like space.
23) My nature is boundless, be
yond such distinctions as pure and impure.
My nature is boundless,
beyond such distinctions as attached or unattached.
My nature is boundless,
beyond such distinctions as divided or undivided.
I’m nectarean knowledge, unchanging bliss;
I’m everywhere, like space.
24) How could the god, Brahma, and all his attendants live there?
How could the city of heaven, with all its people, live there?
My only form is stainlessness; I’m the absolute Reality.
I’m nectarean knowledge, unchanging bliss; I’m everywhere, like space.
25) How may I speak of that stainless
One who is both “this” and “not this”?
How may I speak of that stainless
One who is the unsupported Support of all?
How may I speak of that stainless
One who has no gender and yet has gender?
I’m nectarean knowledge, unchanging bliss;
I’m everywhere, like space.
26) I’m always the Supreme, whether I’m active or inactive.
I’m the highest bliss, beyond attachment and non-attachment.
I’m everlasting bliss, beyond both forms and formlessness.
I’m nectarean knowledge, unchanging bliss; I’m everywhere, like space.
27) This Maya-dream of a world has no affect on me.
The crookedness and deceit of men has no affect on me.
The truth or falsehood of men’s speech has no affect on me.
I’m nectarean knowledge, unchanging bliss; I’m everywhere, like space.
28) I’m beyond the distinctions of night and day;
I can’t be split in parts.
I never wake from within myself; I’m never not-awake.
I’m never moved by thought at all; I never try to be pure.
I’m nectarean knowledge, unchanging bliss;
I’m everywhere, like space.
29) I’m neither “the Lord,” nor am I “not the Lord”;
I’m the formless Self.
I’m beyond the presence or absence of the mind;
I’m the formless Self.
Know well that I’m free of everything; I’m the formless Self.
I’m nectarean knowledge, unchanging bliss;
I’m everywhere, like space.
30) I am a house that’s empty; what may I say of that?
I do everything, and yet I do nothing; what may I say of that?
I’m always in the even state; I’m the formless Self.
I’m nectarean knowledge, unchanging bliss; I’m everywhere, like space.
31) I’m beyond being a soul or not a soul;
I’m forever shining forth.
I’m beyond being a cause or not a cause; I’m forever shining forth.
I’m beyond both nirvana and bondage; I’m forever shining forth.
I’m nectarean knowledge, unchanging bliss; I’m everywhere, like space.
32) Unlimited by a beginning, I’m forever shining forth.
Unlimited by the continuing play, I’m forever shining forth.
Unlimited by the destruction of all, I’m forever shining forth.
I’m nectarean knowledge, unchanging bliss; I’m everywhere, like space.
33) Though you may be spoken of,
you have neither name nor form.
Whether you are divided or undivided, there’s nothing here but you.
mind, O shameless, wandering mind!
Why do you weary yourself so?
I’m nectarean knowledge, unchanging bliss;
I’m everywhere, like space.
34) Why do you weep and moan, my friend?
There’s no old age or death for you.
Why do you weep and moan, my friend?
There’s no pain of birth for you.
Why do you weep and moan, my friend?
You can’t be touched at all.
I’m nectarean knowledge, unchanging bliss;
I’m everywhere, like space.
35) Why do you weep and moan, my friend?
You have no form of your own.
Why do you weep and moan, my friend?
You cannot be deformed.
Why do you weep and moan, my friend?
You can never become old.
I’m nectarean knowledge, unchanging bliss;
I’m everywhere, like space.
36) Why do you weep and moan, my friend?
You can never lose your youth.
Why do you weep and moan, my friend?
You can never lose your mind.
Why do you weep and moan, my friend?
You have no organs of sense.
I’m nectarean knowledge, unchanging bliss;
I’m everywhere, like space.
37) Why do you weep and moan, my friend?
You can’t be touched by lust.
Why do you weep and moan, my friend?
You can’t be touched by greed.
Why do you weep and moan, my friend?
You can’t be touched by infatuation.
I’m nectarean knowledge, unchanging bliss;
I’m everywhere, like space.
38) How can you hanker after wealth?
You have no property to support.
How can you hanker after wealth? You have no wife to feed.
How can you hanker after wealth? Nothing can be your own.
I’m nectarean knowledge, unchanging bliss;
I’m everywhere, like space.
39) You and I are not attached to this world of ephemeral forms;
It is only the shameless mind which divides the One in parts.
Division and non-division are the same to you and me;
I’m nectarean knowledge, unchanging bliss;
I’m everywhere, like space.
40) Your nature does not contain even a little of dispassion;
Your nature does not contain even a little of passions either.
Your nature does not contain even a little of desire;
I’m nectarean knowledge, unchanging bliss;
I’m everywhere, like space.
41) There’s no object of worship in your heart or
in the state of samadhi;
There’s no object of worship in your heart or
in the objective world.
There’s no object of worship in your heart;
I’m beyond both place and time.
I’m nectarean knowledge, unchanging bliss;
I’m everywhere, like space.
42) I’ve told you all that constitutes the very core of Truth;
There’s no you, no me, no superior being, no disciple, and no Guru.
The nature of the supreme Reality is self-evident and simple;
I’m nectarean knowledge, unchanging bliss;
I’m everywhere, like space.
43) How could the supreme Reality be of the nature of bliss?
How could the supreme Reality be devoid of bliss?
How could the supreme Reality possess
either knowledge or ignorance?
If the supreme I am is the one Existence,
It’s everywhere, like space.
44) Understand that It’s neither fire nor air; Realize the One!
Understand that It’s neither earth nor water; Realize the One!
Understand that It neither comes nor goes; Realize the One!
Understand that It’s like space, pervading everywhere;
Realize the One!
45) My nature is neither emptiness nor fullness.
My nature is neither pure nor impure.
I’m neither with form nor without form.
I’m the supreme Reality; my nature is uniquely my own.
46) Renounce, renounce the world of appearance;
Then renounce renunciation as well.
But, whether you renounce or do not renounce,
Enjoy the nectar of your natural state.

Chapter Four

1) Where is the need to make offerings or prostrations?
Or to practice worship with flowers and leaves?
Why practice meditation and the repetition of mantras?
The worshipper and Shiva are one and the same.
2) I’m not only free of bondage and liberation;
I’m not only free of purity and impurity;
I’m not only free of union and separation;
I’m Freedom itself; I’m everywhere, like space.
3) Some say, “The phenomenal world is real”;
Others say, “The world is unreal.”
Such arguments as these have no meaning to me;
My nature is Freedom; there’s no maya to me.
4) I have no faults, nor am I faultless.
I have no beginning, nor am I beginningless.
I’m not undivided, nor am I divided.
My nature is Freedom; there’s no maya to me.
5) In me, ignorance and knowledge never arise;
I never allow myself to experience those states.
How, then, could I speak of not knowing or knowing?
My nature is Freedom; there’s no maya to me.
6) I’m not bound to righteousness; I’m not bound to sin.
I’m not bound to bondage, nor to liberation;
Neither of these affects me at all.
My nature is Freedom; there’s no maya to me.
7) “Inferior” and “superior” have no meaning to me.
I have no enemies, nor have I any friends;
How, then, could I speak of “the good” or “the evil”?
My nature is Freedom; there’s no maya to me.
I’m not the worshipper nor the object of worship.
I give no words of instruction, nor do I perform any actions.
My nature is Consciousness; how, then, could I speak?
My nature is Freedom; there’s no maya to me.
9) There’s nothing that pervades, and nothing that’s pervaded;
There is neither manifestation nor de-manifestation.
How, then, could I speak of “the Void” or its opposite?
My nature is Freedom; there’s no maya to me.
10) Truly, I am neither a perceiver nor an object of perception;
I am not a cause, nor am I an effect.
How, then, shall I say that I’m “the knower” or “the known”?
My nature is Freedom; there’s no maya to me.
11) There’s no superimposer and nothing superimposed;
I am neither “the knower” nor “the object of knowledge.”
How, then, could I speak of creation or dissolution?
My nature is Freedom; there’s no maya to me.
12) I have no body, nor am I without bodies;
I have neither intellect, nor mind, nor senses.
How, then, could I speak of attraction or repulsion?
My nature is Freedom; there’s no maya to me.
13) One can’t even speak of something separate from the Self;
One cannot speak of what doesn’t exist.
How, then, can I speak, friend, of “similar” or “dissimilar”?
My nature is Freedom; there’s no maya to me.
14) I’m neither free of, nor bound by, the senses;
I follow no rules of “should” or “shouldn’t.”
How, then, can I speak, friend, of “success” or of “failure”?
My nature is Freedom; there’s no maya to me.
15) I’ve never been either formless or with form;
I’ve never had a beginning, middle, or end.
How, then, can I speak, friend, of “youth” or of “old-age”?
My nature is Freedom; there’s no maya to me.
16) I’ve never experienced death or deathlessness,
nor evil or good;
None of these opposites exist in me, my child.
How, then, can I speak of “impurity” or “purity”?
My nature is Freedom; there’s no maya to me.
17) I never experience sleeping, waking,
or the deep yogic trance;
To me, there is neither night-time nor day.
How, then, can I speak of the four states of the mind?
My nature is Freedom; there’s no maya to me.
18) Know well that I’m unaffected by the appearance or
non-appearance of the world;
To me, there is neither maya nor its absence.
How, then, can I speak of the performance of right actions?
My nature is Freedom; there’s no maya to me.
19) Know well that, in samadhi, all things are One;
Know also that I’m unaffected by the attainment or
non-attainment of samadhi.
How, then, can I speak of union or separation?
My nature is Freedom; there’s no maya to me.
20) I’m not unlearned, nor am I learned;
I don’t remain silent, nor do I say anything.
How, then, can I speak of true or false doctrines?
My nature is Freedom; there’s no maya to me.
21) I have no father or mother; I have no family or caste;
I’ve never known birth, and I’ve never known death.
How, then, can I speak of affection or attachment?
My nature is Freedom; there’s no maya to me.
22) My awareness of the Self is constant; I never abandon it;
So I’m never affected by darkness or light.
How, then, can I speak of my morning or evening prayers?
My nature is Freedom; there’s no maya to me.
23) Know, without any doubt, that I’m limitless.
Know, without any doubt, that I’m changeless.
Know, without any doubt, that no stains can touch me.
My nature is Freedom; there’s no maya to me.
24) Those who possess strong determination renounce meditation;
They renounce all their good works as well as their bad.
The nectar of renunciation they drink to their fill.
My nature is Freedom; there’s no maya to me.
25) In that state where one knows nothing at all,
This versified knowledge doesn’t even exist.
So, now, while I’m in the state of samarasa,
I, the Avadhut, have spoken of the supreme Absolute.

Chapter Five

1) AUM pervades everything, equally, like space;
Within It, there are no distinctions such as “high” and “low.”
The formless Unmanifest manifests as form;
How else could the Imperishable show forth Its Light?
2) “Thou art That,” the scriptures proclaim;
“Thou art That,” one’s own Self affirms.
You are beyond all diversification, the same Self in all.
Why lament, then, O mind? I’m the same Self in all.
3) Beyond “high” and “low,” I’m the same Self in all.
Beyond “inner” and “outer,” I’m the same Self in all.
If there is only the One, I’m the same Self in all;
Why lament, then, O mind? I’m the same Self in all.
4) There’s no real distinction between the Imaginer
and the imagination;
There’s no real distinction between the Cause and Its effect.
A poem and its words are one and the same;
Why lament, then, O mind? I’m the same Self in all.
5) There’s no knowledge and no ignorance in the experience of Unity; There’s no near and no far in the experience of Unity;
There’s no time and no eternity in the experience of Unity;
Why lament, then, O mind? I’m the same Self in all.
6) There’s no space in the jar, or even a jar;
There’s no container of the soul, or even a soul.
There’s no separation between Cause and effect;
Why lament, then, O mind? I’m the same Self in all.
7) Here, in the realm of Unity, everyone is eternally free;
A “short time” and a “long time” have no meaning here.
Here, no distinction such as “fat” or “thin” exists;
Why lament, then, O mind? I’m the same Self in all.
Here is neither Emptiness nor fullness;
Here is neither purity nor impurity.
Here is neither the All nor its absence;
Why lament, then, O mind? I’m the same Self in all.
9) There’s no distinction such as “divided” or “undivided”;
There’s no distinction such as “within” or “without”;
Beyond the distinction of “enemy” or “friend,”
I’m the same Self in all.
Why lament, then, O mind? I’m the same Self in all.
10) There’s no disciple or non-disciple in the one Reality;
There’s no one evolving, and no one not-evolving;
Here, in the state of Unity, everyone is eternally free.
Why lament, then, O mind? I’m the same Self in all.
11) The Self is beyond form and formlessness, is It not?
It is beyond division and non-division, is It not?
It is beyond creation and the absence of creation, is It not?
Why lament, then, O mind? I’m the same Self in all.
12) Neither the gunas nor anything else can bind me;
How could I be bound by actions in this life or in the afterlife?
I’m the pure, stainless Self, the same within all;
Why lament, then, O mind? I’m the same Self in all.
13) Here is neither existence nor non-existence;
Here is neither desire nor desirelessness;
Here, the wisdom that’s learned is freedom and equality.
Why lament, then, O mind? I’m the same Self in all.
14) Here, Reality is not divided into sub-realities (tattvas);
Here is neither union nor separation.
Even if everything disappears, I’m the same Self in all.
Why lament, then, O mind? I’m the same Self in all.
15) I’m not a vessel, a temple, a house, or a sheath;
Here, without association or dissociation, I am the supreme Reality.
Here, without knowledge or ignorance, I am the supreme Reality;
Why lament, then, O mind? I’m the same Self in all.
16) Unchanging? Changing? Neither is the truth.
Purposeless? Purposeful? Neither is the truth.
If only the Self is perceived: that is the truth.
Why lament, then, O mind? I’m the same Self in all.
17) Here, everyone is the same conscious Soul;
Here, everyone is the one eternal Soul.
Here, only the one undivided Soul exists;
Why lament, then, O mind? I’m the same Self in all.
18) Indiscrimination? Discrimination? This is ignorance.
Mindlessness? Mindfulness? This is ignorance.
If only the eternal One is seen: that is knowledge.
Why lament, then, O mind? I’m the same Self in all.
19) There’s no state of liberation and no state of bondage;
There’s no state of virtue, and no state of sin.
There’s no state of perfection and no state of imperfection;
Why lament, then, O mind? I’m the same Self in all.
20) If I’m always the same, beyond caste and castelessness;
If I’m always the same, beyond cause and effect;
If I’m always the same, beyond division and non-division;
Why lament, then, O mind? I’m the same Self in all.
21) Here, everything is eternal; everything is Consciousness.
Here, only the Immutable exists; everything is Consciousness.
Without any exception, everything is Consciousness.
Why lament, then, O mind? I’m the same Self in all.
22) If everything is eternal, everything is myself.
If only the Stainless, the Immutable, exists, everything is myself.
Whether daytime or night-time, everything is myself;
Why lament, then, O mind? I’m the same Self in all.
23) I’m neither in bondage nor in freedom; I’m always the same.
I’m neither united nor separated; I’m always the same.
I possess neither knowledge nor ignorance; I’m always the same.
Why lament, then, O mind? I’m the same Self in all.
24) Here, time and timelessness cease to exist.
Here, atoms and particles cease to exist.
Only the absolute Reality never ceases to exist.
Why lament, then, O mind? I’m the same Self in all.
25) Here is no difference between embodied and bodiless;
To the Supreme, the subtle and gross states are the same.
The Supreme is the same whether It’s named or unnamed;
Why lament, then, O mind? I’m the same Self in all.
26) The one Purity, like space, is equally in all;
Transcending all forms, I’m the same Self in all.
Whether there are forms or no forms, the Essence remains the same;
Why lament, then, O mind? I’m the same Self in all.
27) Here, I’m unattracted to either virtue or vice;
Here, I’m unattracted to either form or formlessness.
Here, I’m unattracted to either dispassion or desire;
Why lament, then, O mind? I’m the same Self in all.
28) Beyond pleasure and pain, I’m the same Self in all;
Here, neither sorrow nor gladness exists.
In the supreme Reality, there is neither Guru nor disciple;
Why lament, then, O mind? I’m the same Self in all.
29) The Self is neither substantial nor insubstantial;
It is neither identical, nor not identical, to the world.
It’s beyond both enquiry and abstention from enquiry;
Why lament, then, O mind? I’m the same Self in all.
30) This [Self] is the underlying Essence of every substance;
So how can you find distinctions in the one Existence?
There is no object of perception outside of Itself;
Why lament, then, O mind? I’m the same Self in all.
31) In many eloquent ways, the scriptures have said,
“This observable world’s like a desert mirage.”
If there’s only the eternal One, I’m the same Self in all.
Why lament, then, O mind? I’m the same Self in all.
32) In that state where one knows nothing at all,
This versified knowledge does not even exist.
So, now, while I’m in the state of samarasa,
I, the Avadhut, have spoken of the Supreme Absolute.

Chapter Six

1) In many eloquent ways the scriptures have said,
“This observable world’s like a desert mirage.”
If there’s only the limitless One, all is Shiva.
How, then, and to what, could the Self be compared?
2) In the Supreme there is neither division nor non-division;
In the Supreme there is neither activity nor inactivity.
If there’s only the limitless One, all is Shiva.
What, then, is the need of austerities and rites?
3) The one Mind is infinite; It pervades everything.
In the Supreme there is neither “without” nor “within.”
The one Mind is, indeed, limitless; all is Shiva.
How, then, could Shiva be defined in thought or in speech?
4) There’s no distinction between day and night;
There’s no distinction between dawn and dusk.
If there’s only the limitless One, all is Shiva.
What’s the difference if the Sun or the Moon shines?
5) It’s beyond the duality of desire and desirelessness;
It’s beyond the duality of action and non-action.
If there’s only the limitless One, all is Shiva.
What, then, may be considered “without” or “within”?
6) If it’s neither with substance nor without substance,
If It’s neither a Void nor a non-Void,
If there’s only the limitless One, all is Shiva.
How, then, could there be a beginning or an end?
7) If there’s no distinction between division and non-division,
If there’s no distinction between the knower and the known,
If there’s only the limitless One, all is Shiva.
What, then, is the third mental state, and what is the fourth?
hat can be spoken of is not the Reality;
Neither what can be spoken of nor
what cannot be spoken of is the Reality.
If there is only the limitless One, all is Shiva.
How, then, can there be objects, or senses,
the intellect or the mind?
9) Neither space nor air is the Reality;
Neither earth nor fire is the Reality.
If there’s only the limitless One, all is Shiva.
Which, then, is the cloud and which is the rain?

Great Uncle Vussihond Grabashko Wronski

Great Uncle Vussihond Grabashko Wronski. Pictured here in 1890 in Paris at the Club Allegro Fortissimo.  "Just us girls." That was his slogan. [Pick up line, it turns out.]

Uncle was ahead of the times. Way. He identified as a woman; or, that's what he said he did. Imagine that. Way back then. There probably were others of similar persuasion. But VGW was next level. [Typical of all Wronski's.] He put it out there. Some balls, if I may put it ironically. 

Made for easy access in some circles. Most of his many escapades have gone undocumented. Except for recollections by some senior Wronski's of the tales told. But, here, in that photo we get a rare glimpse of Great Uncle in his glory. And whatever else he could get his hands on. And, from the looks of it, he indeed did have his hands full. It was hot in there. And, it was hot. You can imagine. BTW, everyone went away satisfied. Uncle, after all, had the Wronski kavorka. In full measure.

He was a bold one. As if that isn't already obvious. The story goes that he finagled himself into a job as a lifeguard in a mikvah. Definitely not kosher. But, when they finally had enough of his shenanigans, Uncle casually dropped, "So call me pisher". 

No that's not Great Uncle. The Apple doesn't fall far from the tree. That's his oldest [of 13 kids, mind you — his words, "Lucky 13".] "Hollywood" Dave Wronski. My namesake. The story goes that he had a permanent phone at his table at the Beverly Hills Hotel Bar. And, also permanent, a rotating roster of stars, starlets, and aspiring actresses. He was a casting director. He had a fresh new couch installed almost on a weekly basis. It drove the studio property manager nuts. He not only needed a new sofa every week but insisted that it be different and even better than the previous.

But, I digress. Perhaps the most infamous of the small handful of stories that survive in memory, was the "Night of a Thousand Stars" party Uncle threw for his 40th birthday. On his hand calligraphed invites he coined the now-famous line, "If you can't be there, you be square". No doubt you've come across that chestnut a time or three?

So, as you would expect everyone was there. Clark, Carol, Hedy, Myrna, all the Dick's, Lucille, Norma, both Jimmy's, Charlie, Paulette, Cary, Ingrid ... And, on and on.

Here he is in an appropriately, suitable-for-all-ages retouched photo canoodling with a bevy of hopefuls. They got his hopes up too!

Want more? Here's the full house of Wronski. Behold!

I Spy

I SPY

On this 2021 Memorial Day weekend, I can finally tell my story. The statute of limitations has run out and I can talk. Remembering my days as a government spy.

You may be able to tell from the photo that this boy was not a strack soldier. A bit of a renegade. Definitely not one to kiss ass to authority. Rocker of the boat. Iconoclast. Just what you want in a James Bond type. 

The thing is that when you are a James Bond type, doing James Bond kind of stuff, you most definitely don't let on that you're a James Bond type, doin' James Bond kind of stuff. I'll leave to you to sort out fact from fiction. Net, net, mums the word. No one the wiser [that last one I got from dear old Mom].

Not to worry, dear reader. Nothing of any national security import or consequence will be revealed herein. The rules of the game require me to keep my lips sealed, to the grave. The details are in the vault.

My career in espionage and counter-espionage was under the aegis of the United States Army. Unlike with the CIA, which by charter only operates overseas, US Army Intelligence can go anywhere. And, I did. 

My original training was in counter-intelligence. A security role, really. Making sure that property, personnel, and information are secure against enemy infiltration, coercion, and discovery. Within the purview of the Army itself, my role was to conduct background investigations on individuals who were being considered for sensitive classified jobs. It wasn't so much about digging into someone's dirty secrets; more to suss out whether their skeletons were such that they could be compromised ... blackmailed. And, of course, also vetting them for any links to subversive organizations and/or ties to enemies both within and without. 

It was mostly background investigation until we were shipped out to a combat zone to evaluate a field headquarters deep in a dense forest the details I can't get into. We wore no rank insignia. That allowed us to interview personnel up and down the chain of command, particularly without intimidation from superior officers. Aerial bombardment went on the whole time. Those goofballs "beautified" the command tent with brightly painted rocks marking the pathways. Like they wanted to let enemy pilots know exactly where they were. Geez! Of course, we scotched that pronto. And, got out in one piece. No casualties in our small contingent. [It was quite the subject of interest among the enlisted men wondering about our rank. "Never mind that, just answer our questions."]

I was also once assigned to a covert operations group, so I did a little actual spy stuff myself. Here are a few examples: Receiving classified documents at a public location that was under heavy surveillance by clandestine enemy operatives. Then, eluding them en route to my drop spot. Then there was that scouting and planning a raid on a known spy gathering spot. Perks of the job, it was a whiskey bar. 

In the public sphere, outside of official Army jurisdiction, I free-lanced to blow the lid off a big-time eavesdropping operation at a major international corporation. Their key management offices were suspected to be bugged according to my reliable confidential informant. I was tasked to give them the bad news and arrange for a meeting where the appropriate law enforcement personnel could gain access to ferret out the bugs and stop the perpetrators. Just a little tidbit: the meet-up was at Schraft's in the Chrysler Building in NYC.

Sometimes in the course of doing my duty, my activities were, as they say, "off the books". Once in the junior years of my career I bungled it; I was caught red-handed and arrested by the military police at Fort Meade Maryland, the headquarters for U.S. Military Intelligence. As they say, I took one for the Gipper. Steep learning curve. I can't get into the details, just to say a McDonald's Hamburger was involved.

During my tenure in covert ops, I rubbed elbows with one Steven Rubell. You know who he is, of Studio 54 infamy. He was known to me as "Fucking Rubell". Something to do with how he wasn't "one of the boys". I can't say I was, nor can I say I wasn't, in on the sting that got him and his partner sent to jail. Just to say his operation was busted big time for tax evasion. In the end, he got fucked. No pun intended. FYI he died of Aids; enough said.

So that's all I want to reveal at this time. Watch for the book. I'll include such juicy items as that late-night repast on that breezy waterfront in Beirut. Prowling the dark, oily back streets of Munich. A deadly middle-of-the-night surprise encounter in London. Dalliances with well-endowed strippers. Anxiously crossing on the Star Ferry from Kowloon, not knowing where to rendevous, and with whom. Living the high life cruising around Manhattan with powerbrokers, movers, and shakers; cocktails and gourmet dinner on a multi-millionaire's yacht in the balmy early summer evenings. Stowing away on a PanAm cross country flight; getting caught, but skating away. Posing as a head waiter catering to New York's rich and famous. Bar manager at the notorious after-hours Club Taboo. Carrying a king's ransom in cold cash on the subway en route to the drop-off. To mention only a few. Like I said, stay tuned.

PS Spy life isn't all that glamorous. Even though it might look that way sometimes. Whatever the moment and circumstances, you are always on guard to not get found out. Nerves of steel have to be part of your going-in DNA; you can't teach that stuff. Not to say you can't have a good time at it; just it's an act, and you have to stay in character. I got out alive. That's success enough in the spy game. Lived to tell about it. If only a little. Gotta be true to the corps, you know.

Gael Greene Made Me Her Bitch

Gael Greene Made Me Her Bitch

[...or, tried to anyway]

Who's Gael Greene? Ms. Greene was the food editor at New York Magazine in 1968 the year I first showed up in the Big Apple to begin my meteoric Mad Ave, Ad Biggie career. She started with that you-must-read-if-you-are-a-New-Yorker magazine since its beginnings, and then on for another 40 years.

There's a lot you can look up about her. Let's just say she was the shiz. Made food and restaurant going a thing. Some say she was the original "Foodie". Flamboyant, outspoken, colorful. She was famous for going incognito* [that explains the hat] to New York City restaurants ... to get the real deal, not the celebrity treatment. "The Dorothy Parker of restaurant critics." 

* On that incognito schtick. She was famous for wearing hats that covered her face so she wouldn't be recognized. And, even using credit cards under pseudonyms. When I think about, it I'm wondering if her wearing those hats wasn't in fact a tip-off. Like the maitre'd would say, "See, of all the patrons in the room ... there, the one trying to go incognito. That's Gael Greene!"

A real trip to read.

For me personally, a real trip too.

So how did little 'ol me get to hang with the likes of that famous Gael Greene? There's a backstory.

Like I said, I was a shiny new Ad Biggie in the making in NYC at J. Walter Thompson. New York Magazine ran a contest. It wasn't for the general reader circulation. A notice for the contest was tipped into comp copies distributed only to advertisers in the magazine. 

I decided to enter. The deal was that you had to 1. correctly decipher the scrambled letters of the names of ten of the magazine's top advertised restaurants, and 2. make it a creative entry. Judging was on both accuracy and creativity.

My wife and I figured out the names of the restaurants. Then we hopped into our trusty Citroen 2CV and drove around town one Saturday to collect matchbooks from each of those ten joints. 

Now for the creative part. Using colorful construction paper I fashioned a small round columnar kiosk with the requisite roof and pasted the matchbook covers all around. Then I installed it in a box-shaped container which when you took off the top — Voilà! — the four sides fell away flat to reveal the kiosk.

And, we won! Our prize: lunch with Gael Greene and the magazine's founding publisher George Hirsch at our choice of any one of the ten restaurants featured in the contest. We chose Cafe Chauveron; 139 East 53rd Street. At the time it was among a very small handful of luxury restaurants in the city. Top tier. Seated 100, staff of 52. Lux. Get it? The kind of place where if you just happen to glance at a waiter he'd be there at your side prontissimo.

Now the story.

Here we are all happy sitting there with Gael Greene and George Hirsh. Looking over the menu I see "Champignons". I say "Champignons", correctly I should add. I don't remember why I said that out loud; I think it might have been that I thought they were a particularly special thing. It wasn't a question; more an exclamation. Gael — Gael! — promptly takes me to school: "Those are Mushrooms." I did happen to know that. At the time it seemed to me that she took that as an opportunity to let me know where I stood in her midst; me, definitely looking up. I said nothing though. The current me would probably have made some exaggerated gesture and exclaim something like, "Well, how about that! Who would've guessed?" Some nerve on that one. Trying to one-up me, and I was her guest! That kind of behavior schtick went around in those days. Still does; but, I don't travel in snooty circles no more. It's the kind of behavior that in my book brands the perpetrator a champ asshole. [Sort of like I see through how the pols manipulate and pander to their voter bases.]

After a nice lunch — I don't remember if in fact I ordered that something with "Mushrooms" — there's dessert. Gael is having Mousse au Chocolat — that's Chocolate pudding, you should know. [See, there, how I did that bit with you? Now, who's my bitch?] After a few bites, she summons the waiter and asks, "Did you change the Chocolate?" He comes back from making an inquiry with the chef and reports that, yes, in fact they did change the Chocolate; something about how their usual choice was not available.

I said nothing. Just registered a very strong suspicion that the lady engineered the whole bit of drama ahead of time to impress us rubes. Can't say for sure. Just makes for a better story, don't you think? Again, I should have made some over-the-top reaction to how she had such an exquisitely finely tuned palate. And/or, sent the waiter back to the kitchen to ask if my pudding should be so thick and full of air? No. I was a gentleman in those days. Not like now with too many years of too much of other people's bullshit behind me.

Looking back, she did add Mas Sabor to the lunch. Much remembered, Dear Ms. Greene.

So that's all folks ...

Words ... What are They Good For?

We may be passing through a portal that seems to beckon at the other side of it a whole new redefinition of, what? Well, just about everything. 

I recently was called a "troll" in a social media thread. It was a political topic. So, if you know about politics on social media, you keep clear, or you venture where angels fear to tread. My name is David Daniel, so I'm disposed of by genetics to tackle injustice and iniquity and inequity fearlessly when I see it. [Well, maybe not those two bruisers I saw coming out of the Bagel bakery this morning. Michele is the muscle between the two of us.]

An Internet troll as I read it is someone who purposely tries to incite and/or upset. Disrupt. I do have leanings in that category. Mostly, though, with trying to be a smart-ass, wise guy or comedian. [Mixed reviews there.] But in the case to which I'm referring the guy called me a troll because he disagreed with my position and I failed to be cowed into agreement. Troll. No. So call me pisher.

Which brings up the larger topic. Seems words are now highly fungible. [Well, in my day, sonny ... boys were boys, and girls were girls. Now, "Have you always been a female is an everyday pickup line".] Parents are even encouraging their very young to consider which gender to go with. Drag queen boys are celebrated. 

On top of the list ... "Infrastructure". Well, in Joe-World, it's anything you want it to be. No big deal when its a topic at a cocktail party. But, when it comes to how government spending is directed ... bone up on the news. [Which makes me think how ironic it is that Trump 45 is a crown prince of infrastructure. But, no. We have Joe and Kamala to steer us down that road. We'll see. Let us pray.]

An "insurrection." Arguable term. Witness the two sides of that issue. On one side Republican Representative Andrew Clyde taking issue with that term relative to the January 6 Capital violence. Also, putting a pretty tasty piece of fish for Nancy to pounce on over how things on that day appeared. In case you are not up to speed on the nitty-gritty of that kerfuffle, take a look:

Who can forget "Kids in cages". Or, as AOC put it, "Concentration Camps". Under Joe 45 we have a zillion more kids in custody, but compassionately; behind plexiglass partitions.

Speaking of AOC here's her at her logical best on the point of calling what's been happening on Joe's border:

If you are engaged by this article then you're probably wondering what that girly-boy photo has to do with it. It bears on the subject of how things have gotten so relative. As I said, I grew up in a time when boys were boys, and girls were girls. If you wanted to tell the difference all's you had to do was pull down their genes. 

Now, well ... anything goes. Parents are now proudly encouraging their youth to choose their gender. The media refer to it as "inspiring". [By the way, in case it has escaped you, this "born that way" trope has no scientific validation whatsoever. Take that, you who cry the righteous banner of Science! Prove me wrong.]

The Future is Almost Here

 

What We Need Around Here is a Firm of the Obvious

Reader Advisory: If at any time reading this you're inclined to call this an apologia pro vita sua of Republicans in general or Trump supporters in particular, you friend have made my point.

This is a rant about how politicians frame. Of course, everyone has a point of view. You can only look into your own heart and conscience to see whether that perspective is accurate and uncolored by prejudice, bias, or hard-held beliefs. Politicians live to get your vote. This necessitates positing a world with those who are in the right, those who are in the wrong. Winners, and losers. We live in times where the art of such divisiveness has reached a level where sides are so sharply divided that it is not at all surprising that some will literally take up arms to make their point.

Who's to blame. Politicians. Us too, for swallowing their rhetoric whole and undigested. Pols are particularly adept at slanting facts, twisting them, coloring them, omitting facts that get in the way of their message, cherry-picking facts also to suit their message. Offering opinions as facts. Then there's the faux shock and outrage, at the "obvious" error(s) of their opponents' ways. Too many people are inclined to believe something someone in authority says just for the simple fact that they are in authority. Or, that they utter their propaganda and rhetoric with seeming heartfelt and fully formed conviction.

What to do? Gautama Buddha has his usual sage advice: 
“Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.”

For the master class of this political artform witness in the provided video below one Member and Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives, D-CA 12th District [San Francisco], Nancy Pelosi. You'll see her on full display with every trick in the bag, also replete with supporting tonal and cadence variation and facial and hand gestures lifted right out of the silent movie playbook. Think of her as the judging mother-in-law always on the ready to be filling your wife's ear with shade on you.

The video concerns a statement by a House Republican making it out that he [and his Republican colleagues] would have us believe the violence and mayhem on January 6 in the U.S. Capital was just another tourist day visit; a walk in the park. Really! Nancy! If you're inclined to despise the Republicans going in, then you may entirely miss little Nancy's spin. And, just like Patty Hurst ... buy it.

If you're open-minded, then you will be able to judge for yourself how much of what's coming from politicians is fact, and what is narrative frame spin.

Oh, I'll get to the Republicans, be assured. Sneak peek: Harping on those big hot button, drum-beater tropes: Socialism!, Communism!, and the big juicy "They'll take away your guns!".

Let's not let the so-called journalistic media off the hook. So thoroughly politicized in this day and age that a reasonable person would have a hard as hell time just finding out the truth of things.

Word to the wise: society coheres on a fabric of trust. It can get frayed, threadbare, and torn. Perish the thought that we should see it unravel; in our lifetime, or ever. But, history suggests that it does; and, that it will. We live in interesting times. No?

I focus on the Democrats. Not that Republicans don't deal in that truck, just that the Dems are particularly good at it; both in terms of skillful sly verbal delivery and sheer amount. That latter point, witness the 24/7/12/365 ongoing onslaught against 45 and his group of deplorable supporters. The average citizen would be hard-pressed not to believe so much of it by dint of it being drummed on so incessantly. If you object and say that the criticisms are justified, have you really sorted things out for yourself and come to that conclusion? Or, is it just that it fits your already formed opinions. Or, that those laying this out for you and me to lap it up must know what they're talking about. After all, look at their high position.

I’ve been seeing a rather [to me] consistent and regular pattern in the political landscape. Particularly obvious among the Democratic pols and those who vote for them. It came to its exquisite apotheosis during the term of President Trump. It continues on, encouraged by the success of voting him out of a second term. New grounds, but with a big dose of "how bad was that Trump".

As in ...

A gentleman has just tucked in for the night on the sleeper car of the train (the vintage ones, not that long ago, with several stacked berths closed with privacy curtains). No sooner does he fall asleep when he is awakened by an old lady moaning in a thick accent: “Boy, am I thoisty. Boy, am I thoisty. Boy, am I thoisty. Boy, am I . . .”

This is apparently not going to stop until the lady gets her drink. The young man gets out of his berth and fetches a glass of water. “Tank you, sonny. That’s a good boychick.”

Finally, he gets back to sleep.

But, soon after, what does he hear, “Boy, vas I thoisty. Boy, vas I thoisty. Boy, vas I thoisty. Boy, vas I . . .”

The Democrats have become masters of spin. Framing everything from, and about, their political opponents in the most worst possible light. Selective omissions and emphasis out of context. Modifying statements of fact — or choosing to use only an advantageous partial fact — with colorful and strong pejorative modifiers. So and so just didn’t do some this or that; they did so with ...

"depravity"

"appallingly"

"sadly"

"outrageously"

"dishonestly"

"beyond the pale"

"treasonously"

"seditiously"

"treacherously"

"regrettably"

Let's not forget:

"false"

"crazy"

"insane"

"brazen"

"unbelievable"

"idiotic"

"ignorant"

"imbecilic"

"impetuous"

"incompetent"

"ill-conceived"

"impious"

"inept"

"infantile"

"insane"

"ridiculous"

And, that's not even mentioning the arms-length list of other such you could get from my ex-wife on any given day.

Am I making my point?

It occurs to add conflating, deflating, and from the stench of it ... flatulating.

Correspondently, those who buy all that. I'm truly wondering just how much of their opinions have been shaped by such tricky wordsmithing. Unwitting most of them may be to the bias confirmation.

Confirmation Bias: Hearing only what you want to hear, or accepting what you hear on account of it fits your preconceived opinions. Also, let's not forget those who prey on our unconscious motivations intentionally by telling us what we want to hear. And, for what? A vote.

Now is the time we can have a royal cluster fuck arguing over how that President 45 was clearly a quadrazillion times worse than that devil himself. [Is it sexist to refer to the devil as male? Mea Culpa. Fact is, he may be going for a transition himself. She does keep up with the times.]

And, just watch how the brainwashed will assiduously argue that their opinions are based on nothing but the logical conclusions to the fact(s) of it all. Witness how they not only strongly disagree with opposing opinions, but are so righteously justified in being on God's side of things as to not only denigrate opposing arguments and those who make them, but also to want no part of them as members of society. [Enter Maxine Waters as the high priestess of this genre.] As in, if you don’t like it, get the hell out. You are wrong and therefore we delegitimize you. Shun you. Expel you.

Suggesting that they have bought the framing uncritically only makes you an apologist for Republicans and Trump. Kind of like if you criticize Israeli policy and practices vis-a-vis the Palestinians. Anti-semite! [This Spring 2021 things have turned bloody again in the, ahem, Holy Land. And, mirabile visu, Israel is taking some major heat from around the world. The tables may be turning.]

Do they not see, even consider the possibility, that our leaders are treating us like children lacking any intellectual depth. Recent examples: Mayor of NYC Bill de Blasio offering a free portion of French Fries after you get your vaccination [but, you gotta buy the burger]. Or, Governor of New Jersey, Phil Murphy, offering a free beach pass and a glass of wine. And, this just in, Governor Cuomo will give a free lottery ticket.

Or, Joe 46. Promising $2,000 for your vote, then making it $1,400 on account of you already got the $600. Not the same thing about framing the conversation to put shade on the opposition. I toss that in to illustrate the tricky way pols can do their verbal jiu jitsu.

Or, the political theater masquerading as those recent impeachment attempts. The witness who supposedly blew the whistle ... never showed up. The uprighteous Adam Schiff with his "incontrovertible"
proof of malfeasance. Jerry Nadler with his proof "beyond a shadow of a doubt". Say what you will about President Trump's words and actions. But, do they rise to the level of impeachment? I'm inclined to say, no. Yet, just for the fact that there were impeachment proceedings plus the fact that they were voted down in the Senate on party lines, that leaves a bad taste in the mouth if you happen to believe impeachment(s) was warranted. Score a big one for the Dems in the 2020. [Now, as a result, we have Joe ... or, who he really is: "NOT TRUMP".]

Then there's the U.S. Representative Adrew Clyde R-Athens honeyhole. The summation headline there is that "the Republican's 'excuse' being against House and Senate commissions to investigate that event because the January 6 attack was only just some normal tourists in the building". Like it wasn't really such a big deal.

Here's what he said: “There was an undisciplined mob. There were some rioters, and some who committed acts of vandalism. But let me be clear, there was no insurrection and to call it an insurrection in my opinion, is a bold faced lie. Watching the TV footage of those who entered the Capitol, and walk through Statuary Hall showed people in an orderly fashion staying between the stanchions and ropes taking videos and pictures, you know.” 

Per Robbie Sequeira writing in The Times on May 14, 2021:
"U.S. Rep. Andrew Clyde, R-Athens, said Wednesday that calling the Jan. 6 storming of the U.S. Capitol an insurrection is a "bald-faced lie," and his reference to a “normal tourist visit” has been picked up by media far and wide.

"The events of Jan. 6 saw rioters storm the Capitol building in an attempt to overturn the results of the 2020 general election that confirmed a victory for then president-elect Joe Biden."

Fair enough.

The Republicans in fact are against House and Senate inquiries into the events of that day. They call it out as political theater. After all, there are independent agency investigations already underway.

The actual facts per an article in Slate by Jim Newell on May 18, 2021: "McCarthy gave three reasons for his opposition: that Pelosi had spent too much time politicking during the negotiations, that it would be duplicative of the investigatory work already being done by law enforcement and other congressional committees, and that it has a “shortsighted scope” that “does not examine interrelated forms of political violence in America.” Among those other “forms of political violence in America,” he cited “the political violence that has struck American cities, a Republican Congressional baseball practice, and, most recently, the deadly attack on Capitol Police on April 2, 2021.”

Clyde for reasons that are not clear to me said that infamous "like tourists" line. He said that in a specific reference, not about the whole of it. There's nobody who doesn't decry and condemn the violence of that day. Clyde is also guilty of arguing against calling it an "insurrection". Arguable point. But, no. Democrats have tried to make hay again on that one, suggesting that he is pitching for having it be just a little blip, a walk in the park. Normal. Business as usual. Really!

Here's a video that covers Clyde's statements followed by the rhetorical response by Nancy at her propaganda spin best:

Here's Joe Scarborough in high dudgeon. We may tend to believe him on account of that he's so worked up. Must be true, he's so earnest.

Giving mother respect ...

Giving mother respect ...

My Mother, Catherine, at home in Detroit mid-1970s

I am thinking about how our mothers share in our lives. Our joys are theirs. And our sorrows.

Our sharing is not just in terms of outer events, like getting together and keeping in touch. Stories. But, in some mysterious way, more directly and intimately in the conduct of our lives and our experiences. It may be that our mothers feel us living inside them. Maybe not directly as such. But, in a shared resonance.

Also, Mother Earth, doesn't she also share in our lives. And, maybe, in a way more visible and apparent. When we live heedless of our surroundings, the Earth . . . that has consequence to the environment . . . in the air we breathe, the water we drink, the food we grow and consume.

T

Cup of Joe? Jumping Jehoshaphat!

Cup of Joe? Jumping Jehoshaphat! 

Looks like the Pandora's Box has been opened at Starbucks. There's now this thing they're seeing — and dealing with — where customers are placing custom orders with an arms-length list of add-ins.

We want to be right up there. Maybe with the toppers of 1. served in a Faberge Egg and 2. stirred with a piece of the True Cross.