Finding Fault ...

Estrangement is mostly a misunderstanding. A big one is in the area of responsibility. In a praise and blame framework. Don't be chagrinned if you find yourself in that mentality. Seems it goes around. Just read the news. Who's to blame. Who's to praise.

If you have judgements don't matter whether blame, or praise can't you see that those harbored thoughts color one's seeing in the present moment. Past things, as good or as bad as they may have seemed to be, well ... They're past. So now, just who is responsible for holding on to past things?

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And, consider sincerely just who is responsible for holding those cherished opinions. It takes courage to forgive.

The Overlooked Cause of Global Warming

The Overlooked Cause of Global Warming

Here we are arguing about Global Warming. Whether there is even such a thing. And, if it's for reals, what's going on? Is it geophysical, or man-made?

Probably both. This here gives the skinny on the Human component. Perhaps the critical component. Stick with me.

Whatever Mother Nature Herself has in mind, it's the Human Race what that's heating things up too. How much? And, if that's significant, scientists seem to say it is.

How?

My Mother in Law once gave me advice to carry for a lifetime. "Don't let your wants hurt you." I pray for her. To her.

Imagine this now: All that wanting in the world. The heat of it. Is that factor? Imagine such a vast swath of Humanity each one going for whatever the F we're going for. World peace. The best slice of Pizza. And, everything possible else in between. Seen from a distance, like ants swarming.

Mea culpa. I contributed to this pointless endeavor. A trapper in the duality game of grasping and getting. As a former Big Shot Mad Ave Ad Biggie I added to the heat with my many years of effort getting people to want what my clients with their goods and services were cooking. On many account assignments, quite literally; many food products I've had a hand in pushing. Chase & Sanborn Coffee, Wonder Bread, Home Pride Buttertop Bread, Hostess Cakes, Weight Watchers Frozen Dinners. Lots of food new products.

So sue me! But, wait! We're all in this fix. Do you think that the drug problem is all on the sellers? There's a demand. Seems ... BIG. Come to think of it, with all the drug taking that's generating some heat too. Imagine all those coked-up movers and shakers with their hands on some pretty big wheels — Hollywood script writers must be on something; look at all the ... what do you even call it? Stuff? Young lass with a rising big city career returns home in an idyllic locale only to find a devilish monster ravaging the folk all the while trapped under an invisible Gardol Shield from which there is no escape, but the high school boyfriend is now the Chief of Police and the spark of their former love is rekindled which inspires them to time travel to the other side of that impenetrable barrier where they fight even greater obstacles, but come back with the saving idea ... Eat More Possum! 

So, now ... what to do? Give up desire. Accept what is. I'll do that. You? Never mind imagining the populace of the world signing on to this. You and me, bruh. That's a start. 

Addendum: It's not just marketers and Hollywood. The pols. If you've been watching things it should come as no surprise that the pols have ratcheted up the heat to Biblical proportions. Looks like we're in a hard line struggle between the forces of good and the forces of evil. Like Joe saying recently how Putin has "a craven lust for land and power". Or, that he's a murderer, a butcher, a war criminal. Those are fighting words. And, by the way, people are dying in wars even as we search the internet for the best Pizza shop. War is heat.

All the foregoing, sort of makes you hot under the collar. God made a covenant to not destroy the world again with water. He didn't rule out heat. Repent. Pray.

There's good Authority for this stance ...

Jesus ... The Early Years

 Jesus ... The Early Years

We don't have a lot on The Jesus in his youth. Recently unearthed records shed new light. Fun times ...

[As found written in the Gospel according to one David D. Wronski.]

A few excerpts...

• There was that time that he ran away from home and started to pick a fight with the poobahs in the Temple. And, His cheeky excuse to His Mom; something about doing His"Father's" work. Imagine how Joseph took that! Zen it up, Joe! Chop wood. Don't overthink it.

• What about the neighbors? "Hey, Mary and Joseph! Can you keep the shutters closed at night ... the Light is keeping us up." Later, that same Light would be a welcome blessing. 

• And, here's a fly on the wall report from the Cana wedding shindig ...

"Hey, lady, the wine ran out. Can you talk to Mr. Magic over there? 

"Son ..."

"Not now Ma, I'm on a roll!" [Literally ... playing dice with the boys outside in the alley. Winning, of course. Big. No surprise there.]

"Listen here, boy! The vino done gone, and we need some more."

"But, Ma! I don't have time for that!"

In typical Jewish Mother fashion ... "All that sweattin' in the cold — and, after such along trip ... in a manger! Would you believe it! Oy! Now I get this? Some thanks!"

"Okay, okay. Don't get all verklempt! Spare me the tsuris!" 

• Sure He was all about His Father's business. He was also a Carpenter too. Joseph, thinking to himself ... "I told Him to measure twice, cut once. But, no, not Him! Measure once, cut once. But darn — some translations use the stronger "damn" — that Boy gets it right every time. Amazing Grace!"

[Rather interesting, don't you think, to contemplate how this Carpenter was nailed to a cross of wood.]

• Even as a Kid, JC had it tough. The little Jewish boys and girls — only two categories in those backward times — hated His guts. Such a smarty. Always winning every game. Lesson: We might live in hyper-tolerant times, but "you be you" wasn't a thing back then. So, even today, be happy; but don't be too happy.

[There's this joke: Jesus and God are golfing. Hole in one. Hole in one. Then, quelle surprise, Jesus hits one into the water. So, there He is — always the show off — walking on water looking for His ball — I know, as if He doesn't already know where it is. The next party comes up and sees this, asks God "Who does that guy think he is? Jesus Christ?" God says, "Well, He is Jesus Christ. But He thinks He's Tiger Woods".]

• Jesus was a card. A really sharp sense of humor. [I sure do hope so, me going into the lighter side of His story this way.] 

Sarcastic too. Like in this little known exchange at the Last Supper:

At the Last Supper Jesus spoke to the brethren saying, "Today one of you will betray me". Peter sprang to his feet, "It is me Lord, is it me?". "No Peter, it is not you." John then asks, "Is it me Lord. is it me? ." No, John it is not you. Then, Matthew ... same question. Again, "No, not you Matthew". Then that Judas asks, "Is is me Jesus, is it me Jesus?". Jesus gives him a look and says, "IS IT ME JESUS, IS IT ME JESUS!". 

Who Let the Dogs Out?

Quick! What's the first thing that comes to mind? A rainy day? Beautiful colors? That's a lot of umbrellas?

Gay? 

We just wrapped up a high-octane "Pride Month" this June 2023. This just in: the Assistant Secretary for Health (ASH) Admiral Rachel L. Levine, MD is down for a Summer of Pride. You go, grrrl.

My loyal followers will recall how just recently I tackled the issue of just who decided that "IDENTITY" means what you got, what you call it, and what you do with it, and with whom? Don't get me started on the pronoun thing. 

Look. You do you. No discrimination, please. But — if I may be so bold to say — why so in the face about mainstreaming walking on the wild side? Whatever. Not gonna make any dent in that. Let your freak flag fly. [But, does it gotta be a rainbow flag?]

Also, the thing about this, besides the bullying to frame identity as being about sexual permutations, is how several words have also been coopted under that Rainbow umbrella. "Pride." "Gay." "Queer." Can't I be "gay" without being "gay"? No, apparently. Only one meaning now. Like the point I made in another screed, that's "queer"? "Queer" in the simple sense that something's off from normal. And, don't get me started about the distinction between "normal" and "usual". The latter passing for the former as presently understood in the zeitgeist. 

I want to be "gay"! Happy. Singing in the Rain happy. But in our anything goes culture, that seems to be "queer" to use that term in any way other than "boys will be boys". Or, girls who like what they got. Then, that whole other can of worms ... kids encouraged to decide their sexual orientation and identity with the full force of the government behind their choice to chop it off and/or to surgically strap one on. And, please, no need to involve the parents. Kids have rights too! 

Speaking of "Rainbows". Who appropriated that wonder of nature as the colors of the LGBTQ+ flag? Used to be for centuries the Rainbow was a symbol for God's covenant with Humanity to not rain down and biblically wash it all away ever again as a species-wide punishment. Here's an article on that subject. 

So, where are we on all that? The post-modern relativism Pope Benedict XV1 perceptively pointed out as a "dictatorship" [of relativism] has gone too far. Talk about queer! It's whack! Or, is that for you just another irrelevancy from the Church of Rome? Like, sure, the world is my Oyster. I can have it any way I please. After all, enough folks have it that everybody goes to Heaven. Majority rules. Must be so. [How much would you bet on that?]

Whatever. Really? Kind of feels like we have had too much our head. Time for the heart. That's were the roots are. 

Pride! F-Ya!

It's such a relief to be done with the burden of Original Sin! "Pride." A deadly sin of Man? Whatever. Seems, now, everbody go to Heaven. We shall see ...

Now that everything has turned upside down, and "whatever" is the norm. Pride! F-Ya! 

Don't get me wrong. You do you. Whatever. Really. Just there's the Lord to reckon with. Not just you gays. All us sinners.

 

"A tree that is unbending is easily broken."

"A man is born gentle and weak.

At his death he is hard and stiff.
Green plants are tender and filled with sap.
At their death they are withered and dry.
Therefore the stiff and unbending
is the disciple of death.
The gentle and yielding
is the disciple of life.
A tree that is unbending is easily broken.
The hard and strong will fall.
The soft and weak will overcome."
~Lao Tsu

Tao Te Ching

Farmers Market 2023

Eponymous Ricky at Ricky's Produce Paramus Farmers Market NJ

Schultheis Farms at Paramus NJ Farmers Market

 Same Little Tomato when back in 2013

"No picture!" Okay, a picture."

 

A True Father Speaks ...

The Essence of Guru Yoga

When thoughts arise, we imagine ourselves once more as Vajrayogini, with Guru Rinpoche above our head. There is no need to do an elaborate visualization of the retinue and all the other details. Simply maintaining the presence of the guru above our head, we carry a strong feeling of devotion throughout all our daily activities.

The essence of Guru Yoga is simply to remember the guru at all times: when you are happy, think of the guru; when you are sad, think of the guru; when you meet favorable circumstances, be grateful to the guru; and when you meet obstacles, pray to the guru, and rely on him alone. When you are sitting, think of the guru above your head. When you are walking, imagine that he is above your right shoulder, as if you were circumambulating him. When you are eating food, visualize the guru at your throat center and offer him the first portion. Whenever you wear new clothes, first offer them to the guru, and then wear them as if he had given them back to you.

At night, when you are about to fall asleep, visualize Guru Rinpoche in your heart center, the size of the first joint of your thumb, sitting on a four-petalled red lotus. He is emanating countless rays of light, which fill your whole environment, Guru Yoga melting the room and the entire universe into light, and then returning to absorb into your heart. Then the guru himself dissolves into light. This is the state in which you should fall asleep, retaining the experience of luminosity. If you do not fall asleep, you can repeat the visualization again.

When you wake up in the morning, imagine that the guru emerges from your heart and rises up to sit again in the sky above your head, smiling compassionately, amidst a mass of rainbow light.

This is how we can remember the guru and apply devotion during every activity. And should death come suddenly, the best practice then is to blend our mind with the mind of the guru. Of all the sufferings of the three intermediate states, the most intense is the suffering of the moment of death. For this moment there are practices of Phowa, or the transference of consciousness to the buddhafields. The practice of Guru Yoga is the most profound and essential way of doing Phowa.

Finally, this practice of Guru Yoga is sealed with a profound prayer:

May I and all sentient beings

reach the ultimate goal of the path:

the realization of the absolute nature!

Having obtained this human body,

met the teacher,

received his instructions,

and put them into practice,

May we make the seeds

of the four empowerments blossom

into the four kay as, so dispelling the four veils!

By accomplishing the four kayas,

may we achieve ultimate enlightenment!

It is with this wish-fulfilling prayer and many others like it that we should put the ultimate seal on all our practice.

In brief, and to conclude, Guru Yoga is the essence of all practices and the easiest on which to meditate. It entails no danger and it is endowed with boundless blessings. It has been the main object of practice of all the enlightened beings of India and Tibet, and in all the different schools. Through the Guru Yoga practice, all obstacles can be removed and all blessings received. And through merging our mind with the mind of the guru, and remaining in the state of inseparable union, the absolute nature will be realized. This is why we should always treasure Guru Yoga and keep it as our foremost practice.

In general, as I mentioned at the beginning, any practice or activity that we undertake must be governed by the Three Noble Principles. The first is to practice not for ourselves alone, but for all sentient beings, and therefore we generate the most precious attitude-that of wishing to guide all beings to the state of enlightenment.

Second, the main part of the practice is to practice onepointedly as we go through each step of the preliminary practice: the four thoughts, refuge and bodhicitta, the Vajrasattva practice, the mal).c;lala offering, and Guru Yoga. Actions performed with the body, recitation of the speech, and concentration of the mind should all be done one-pointedly and without distraction. While we concentrate on what we are doing with the body, we must not let our speech drift into ordinary conversation. When we recite with our mouth, we must not let our mind wander away from the practice. The main part of the practice then is to be single-mindedly focused and to be free from any clinging, so that the benefit of our practice will not be carried away by outer circumstances. For more advanced practitioners this second point means to dwell constantly in the realization of the emptiness of all phenomena.

The third Noble Principle is to conclude by dedicating the merit of the practice. Whatever merits we may have accumulated in the past, and may accumulate in the future, we dedicate to all sentient beings so that they may achieve buddhahood. Our aspiration when we dedicate should have the same expansive and generous attitude as that with which the vast merit of the buddhas and bodhisattvas is dedicated.

Conclusion

This particular Guru Yoga practice belongs to the tradition of the Longchen Nyingtik. However, this does not mean that it is in any way limited because it belongs to one particular lineage. Although here we find Guru Rinpoche at the center of the practice, and in the new translation traditions the Buddha Vajradhara, or Dorje Chang is the central figure in the Guru Yoga, they are identical in nature. The main point is to practice the Ngondro preliminary practice in a genuine way. It is the prerequisite for having a sound foundation for the main practice. Without the Ngondro, the main practice will not resist deluded thoughts, it will be carried away by circumstances, it will be unstable, and it will not reach its ultimate goal. It will be like building a beautiful mansion on a frozen lake. No main practice should start without the foundation of the preliminary practice. And as it says in the concluding verses of this text by Jikme Lingpa:

Through accomplishing this preliminary practice, you will eventually be reborn in the paradise of Zangdopalri, the Glorious Copper Colored Mountain.

So, at present you may be living in a country distant from the land where the Buddha's teaching was born, yet thanks to your good fortune you have been able to meet the Dharma and start practicing. This is a sign that you have a good connection. But in order to progress along the path you need to find a qualified teacher, otherwise all your efforts will be wasted. Having found a teacher, you should then practice in accordance with his instructions, remembering that within the preliminary practice all the vital points of the paths of sfltra [sutra] and tantra are included, and that you are truly fortunate to be able to practice them.

I received these teachings many times from my teacher Jamyang Khyentse Chokyi Lodro, as well as from Shechen Gyaltsap Rinpoche, and now I have shared the essence of them with you.”


~ H.H. Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche — Guru Yoga According to the Preliminary Practice of Longchen Nyingtik: https://amzn.to/3Qyh8LA

 

TULKU URGYEN RINPOCHE

PURE PERCEPTION

Be respectful, kind, beneficial and affectionate to all Dharma friends. Never harbor bad intentions, anger or deceit towards them, nor inflict harm upon them. Regard Dharma friends as your vajra brothers and sisters. Do not slander them. Do not gossip divisively about either your Dharma friends or other practitioners and teachers. Do not harm your own practice by indulging in impure perception. Extend pure perception as much as you can. A genuine yogi or yogini has unrestricted pure perception. Do not restrict your pure perception to your own root-guru alone. Acknowledge the timeless enlightened quality in each and every being.

Vajrayana in general is training in pure perception—Dzogchen is even much more so. How can you call yourself a practitioner of Dzogchen if you spend your time defaming, finding fault with or criticizing others? Maintain the view of pure sight, sound and awareness. This is how samsara and nirvana actually are, pervaded by the three kayas or three vajras. Sentient beings might not be aware of their Buddha Nature, but they are nevertheless endowed with the three kayas. You need to train in pure perception by accepting and respecting the three kayas in everyone. Great masters do perceive all sights, sound and cognitive activity as infinite purity. Once recognition of awareness is stabilized, there is no more impurity to be perceived. Train in this by thinking: “As the Buddha Nature pervades all beings, not a single being is unsuitable.” The more you respect Buddha Nature in others and train in pure perception, the more your own practice will progress.

Slandering beings is slandering buddha nature; stop doing that. If due to your own impurity you perceive mistakes in other beings, at least do not voice them. If your awareness practice is too weak to sustain pure perception naturally, try to develop a rapport within an intellectual understanding of Buddha Nature in others. Know that your impure perception of others only happens either because you have not recognized genuine awareness, or because that recognition is not developed. Criticizing and slandering others puts you out of tune with the enlightened essence.

You mainly harm yourself. The most unrealized so-called practitioner of Dzogchen can at least keep his or her mouth shut, even if he can not actually maintain the view.

A deceitful person sees everybody with suspicion and finds many mistakes in others. A pure person naturally perceives others to be good. How much more so does a perfect yogin or yogini. He or she has the perception of infinite purity. They will actually perceive all forms as the bodies of the deities, all sounds as mantra, and all thoughts and emotions as the display of awareness. In their perception of pure sight, sound and awareness there is no attachment to friends, or aversion to enemies. Awareness itself being free from concepts of good and bad, proper and improper, they perceive everything as great equanimity. They do not accept or reject friends or foes. They perceive not the tiniest speck of impurity. As is said, “Arriving at a golden island, one cannot find ordinary earth or stones even if one searches for them.” In general, good and bad are your own perception, so you cannot possibly see faults in others when your own are purified.

***BLAZING SPLENDOR

Gay Pride Month 2023 "IDENTIY"

It's Gay Pride Month! 

WRITER'S NOTE: This post was originally taken down for violating Google's standards. The offending item — as far as I can tell, since I wasn't told specifically — was a photo of two men in the back of a pickup truck in a parade in hometown US of A. Families with kids lining the street. The boys were dressed in full S&M leathers, one bare ass, in a strangle hold by the other. In a video of this same duo our "bottom" fellow is being symbolically whipped by his "top". Just good family fun on the sunny streets of suburbia; but not on a Google blog. 

Onward ... [Now with an imagined multi-cultural, inclusive national flag as the lead photo.]

Let's jump that shark. 

Hey You! Stop Being Queer! That's Just So Queer! 

I know I'm on thin ice here. Seems anyone that even appears to look like being against the LBGTQ+ thing is a not-woke asshole. No contest ... my ex-wife et al have proven that case. [In their minds, that is.] So, now that you know I'm an asshole you don't have to waste your time trying to prove it. 

My net, net on this is this: Just who capped the conversation on "Who am I?" in the frame of sexual preference and "identity"? Who am I? Question for the ages. No? But, who thinks to ask that question? Especially since the loudest voices are in your face all about what you got, what you call yourself, and what you like to do with what you got. Jeez-O-Man!

Obviously I'm not gonna resolve the issue with words. Not in the current overheated political climate. Anyway, my words are directed toward asking the Real Question. Who am I? And, maybe suggesting you look into it a bit more than settling for a laundry list of roles, preferences, possessions, abilities, desires and fears. In other words, all those put on inferences we've piled on the that fresh cake of Pure Human Being what with we entered into this world.

First of all, let me make a few things clear. "Queer." "Crystal Queer."

Here's my point. And, my gripe. Just who the fuck [speaking in the classic, boy/girl, in-and-out outdated(?) sense of the word] got their way, and made it that "Queer" and "Gay" mean that "It's my God-given right to have my own way with what I got and with whom I get it on with ... and, how I get to do it." Now, seems, also wherever I please. 

If that's the way you want to be, please. Do. And, I'm with you ... where and with whom you however like to do should not be reason for me to discriminate against you in any way. [Of course I don't want to see "you being you" on the front lawn in front of a picture window where everyone at Thanksgiving Dinner can see. I can dig the kinky, but no need to parade it downtown. ["Downtown." Is that a pun?]

"Kinky." "Sexy" is with a feather. "Kinky" is with the whole Chicken. 

Or, like for reals in a small town parade with the whole citizenry gathered curbside to see a coupla guys — gays! — in the back of a pickup truck, one in leathers, bare ass and the other — also all leathered up — with a cat of nine tails whip. Enthusiastically choking the happy recipient, and then faux-whipping said bare-A tuchus. 

Queer? Queer? I'll tell you what's queer! "Queer" applied to sexual orientation and preference is a misplaced usage.

What's really queer in being ignorant. Ignorant? About what, you will ask? Who you really are. That. Like I said, if you are in the question, you know from WTF I'm talking about. If you're not, then this'll all come off to you like some homophobe diatribe. 

I'll say it again ... Just who decided that identity was about gender orientation and sexual preference. That's a real short sell on what should be a cardinal question in the world culture. Who am I? If you stopped at the gender/sexual preference window, it's a tasty treat; but don't spoil your appetite for the BANQUET.

Not about what you do with what you got down there with what someone else got and where it goes or who says what. Heck, my idea of a gangbusters Gay Pride show is a throng of the so-inclined, on their knees — in leathers, of course — praying fervently to High Heaven with lit candles. On cue, the one next to you blows out your candle. Then, they stick those hot wax candles up every available asshole. Just some good, healthy self expression, in my book. How that fits with the Good Book ... Judgment Day is soon coming, Pilgrim. You think you gonna fuck and suck your way into Heaven? And I'm not just talking to the LGBTQ+ crowd. You "Straights" too. We all sinners. 

But, we argue over how best to dance with the devil. 

BTW the world is on fire. And, our fearless leaders are pouring gasoline on it. Nothing "gay" about that. Now, that's really "queer".

There's more than enough ignorance of what's really Real and the best we can come up on the subject of identity is sexual orientation? How did that definition get applied to the word identity? Did anyone else notice the slight of hand?

On account of my own orientation as a result of Dr. Ida P. Rolf Method / Structural Integration — my orientation is vertical, in alignment in respect to the dictates of Gravity [not a sex position] — I'm seeing Humanity living out of line with the simple, ineluctable fact of the demands of Gravity ... out of balance. That's frickin' queer.

And "Gay". What's so frickin' "gay" about living below your potential, strapped to imbalances in the makeup of your body that sap your energy and limit your range of performance and creative expression. What the FRICK! is gay about that? 

You don't have to be "gay" to know that it's gotta be straight to go in whatever hole you be wanting to insert it in! Is there such a thing as a "crooked gay"? Some say "gay" is crooked. No. Crooked might be gay, but that's "queer" regardless of how you get it on, or how you imagine who you are to be. 

In the real sense it's being at odds with the natural imperative to live in balance with the prevailing medium of Gravity. You know the first fish to venture onto land, they though he was "queer" too. I guess it depends on your POV. And, in this post-modern relativistic zeitgeist ... whatever.

Side note: This business of making it the all-about thing about how you "identify"? I get it straight from the Buddha. "That's bullshit." Identity is not who you are, in any definitional sense. Who you are for Reals? Don't stop at sexual orientation. Dig deeper. And, not in a sexual sense. Make sense?

In a crazy world, the sane one is "queer". In a broken world, the whole one is "gay". Not you silly assholes who make a big fluff out of your inventions of identity and sexual activity. And, I'm not leaving out those silly assholes who are burning the world to the ground. Even though they claim "God is on our side", and it's all for the greater good. [I'm investing in stocks that will thrive on sales of rebuilding materials for the what was once known as Ukraine.]

If you are offended or irate at any of the foregoing ... well, doesn't it just prove my point? You're an asshole. Really? Claiming your right to be what-the-fuck ever you wanna be, and then telling me I shouldn't be the way I want to be? Or, say it like it is for me. Really? Wake up! You're an asshole. [Excuse me if my "fist" is too big.]

And, for the very last word on "IDENTITY" ...

Jesus and God Go Golfing [The Holy Spirit Caddies]

Jesus and God Go Golfing 

[The Holy Spirit Caddies]

Jesus and God are Golfing. Hole in one! Hole in one! God decides to have a little fun with the Boy. JC plops one right smack dab in the center of a water pond. 

So, there He is, walking on the water, looking for his ball. The next golf party shows up. Sees Jesus walking on water. Someone says to God, "Hey, who does that guy think he is ... Jesus Christ!?"

God says, "Well, He is Jesus Christ. But he thinks he's Arnold Palmer."

There has to be a lesson in this. Right?

How do you play Golf ... by Heaven's Rules.

Short answer: PLAY IT WHERE IT LAYS.

So, then, what is Heaven? Heaven is where you are, right now ... if, that is, you live your life according to the Rules of Heavenly Golf. That is: Play it where it lays.

You mean that I have to accept every bit of what's in front of my nose. Yes, Pilgrim. And, what's in your heart too. Every bit of it. God's keeping score, so you can't cheat; like, tossing the ball back to the green from the rough.

No worries, Pilgrim. He [HE] will give you the right club. Every time. But, you do have to commit to the rules. And, you gotta use the club(s) your "CADDY" hands you.