Selling Cars

Selling Cars ...

I once tried my hand at making a living selling cars.  Chevrolet and GMC, cars and trucks; new and used. I was cut out for other things, yet the experience learned from selling cars has been useful for the things I do do. For me, as a profession, it's doodoo. Rough trade. 

DISCLAIMER: This writing is "riffy" and "fuzzy". Motor vehicle sales is a thing in itself. Lots of sales and marketing knowledge in the field. I was never  good at it. My comments should be taken with an understanding that I'm not talking as any kind of an expert. There is a skill to the deal. If you care to participate successfully, lots to learn. But, like I said, I'm not cut out for that stuff. Tough trade. My pet stuffed animal when I was very young lad was "Bambi". Not a predatory cat.

What do I do? Which right now, I'm telling a story.

Early in my jagged and checkered career path I had worked making cars at the Ford Motor Company in Detroit. Much later got into selling cars; and trucks. General Motors products.

There was a senior salesman at the dealership who sat there all day chewing an unlit cigar, and customer after customer would just show up at his office and buy a vehicle. Seemed all's he did was make appointments and fill out paperwork.

Meanwhile, me, I spent most of the day wondering where my next sale was coming from; dreading spending the frustrating mandatory slog cold calling prospective buyers, or looking to be first to spot an “UP”. An “UP” is a potential buyer randomly showing “up” on the lot.

It was quite the game among the salesmen to get to the "UP" first. There's fierce competition. Who's gonna get eyes on the mark first. Positioning one's cubicle in relationship to the show room floor or nearest the door to outside for easiest access to a buyer were good tactics. Mostly you hang out on the lot to get to the next one who drives up. Not something you want to be doing if you're in it for the long career haul. But, hey, you have to start somewhere. Unless, you can magically "manifest" eager buyers with prayers in a wish basket. 

There were a few fellows who had the manager's favor. They perched in the big window just behind the manager's desk which was on a raised platform. They got the Eagle eye view of the lot so they were the first to spot a car driving in.

[Not saying it was the case with those two, but some managers will steer a sale in return for a cut in the commission. I declined one such proposition; probably cut into my sales stats. But, my larger career has to do with integrity, so what would you do? This situation can happen very easily when a prospective customer approaches the manager directly. Then it's his discretion who gets the sale.]

By the way, the gospel of car sales is anyone who comes on the lot is a buyer. Period. "They're just looking" is not an excuse you give your manager. On a rainy day, for sure you're looking at a serious buyer. 

I do recall how there was some order in determining which salesman was "UP" for the next "UP". Some honor among gentlemen? Which everyone knows 100% of car salesmen are gentlemen. Right up there with carpet and house siding sellers. I personally haven't met that many A grade humans in that field.

The salesmen at my first dealership had the habit of hanging around just outside the showroom entrance waiting for the next customer and chewing the fat and smoking cigarettes. The path to the showroom was littered with cigarette butts. How that obviously [to me] didn't have a good look, no one seemed to even have it occur to them. Rough trade, and rude. There was a garden area adjacent with a few puny Rose bushes growing listlessly; one salesman took it upon himself to water the plants. That act right there earned my respect.

Once when a new crop of salesmen came fresh out of training they were sent to all points around the car and truck lot. A few right at the very entrance to the lot itself. So here we are the regular sales guys standing around in a group watching as the newbies are sent to stake out all points on the lot. And this, mind you, in the hot Phoenix, Arizona sun. You got a complaint with that, sonny? Pack your stuff and take a hike. Cut throat competition anyone?

When you go to work, you leave Democracy behind.

So, now, what about that old as F senior sales guy, just signing paperwork all day? I honestly can't tell whether he is an angel or a devil? Probably, if he's anything like me, a good measure of both. Of course, the guy had been in the business for ages; so a lot of his customer base was repeats and referrals. That's what you get at the end of a successful career in sales. Sit back and let the bucks just come on in.

He had two dogs. One named Hank; the other, Oskar. He would regularly address his customers as "Hank" or "Oskar". Sort of like you might casually refer to someone as "Bub" or "Fella". No one seemed to make any issue. Or was it that in his mind customers were dogs, just to be led around? I don't know the gentleman's mind.

Speaking of which ... he was fond of saying, "You know how to tell if they're lying ... their lips are moving".

Right there, I think that was a big clue. In his car salesman world, "Buyers are liars". That's an adage throughout the business. Maybe in sales of all kinds. Think about it. Making a commitment to buy a big ticket item is stressful. Nerves on edge. A lot of potential buyers will try to get off the hook. "I need to talk to my wife." "Don't you want to surprise her?" "I need to think about it." "Of course. It's a big decision. Let me ask you ... ".

That last item is a key to selling. You must establish rapport with the customer first, then you have the permission to ask a question; or make your point. Show them you understand their situation. Big selling tip, that one. Like a bank account they said in sales training; you have to make a deposit first to earn the permission to come back with a counter to their objection. Otherwise you're just arguing; back and forth. Try that with your main squeeze sometime. Works like a charm. But, the Good Lord will know if you're sincere. If you're not, it's false. Not good for any relationship. Especially at home. But, on the lot ... sincerity, there's not a lot. In order to get a sale, since "buyers are liars" the gloves are off and you gotta do what you gotta do. Notice all the car dealer commercials on TV. Every last one touts how you're gonna have a wonderful buying experience. Come visit our friendly, family dealership. No hassle. [Notice please, their lips are moving.]

So, was this old, sweet cuss some sort of Taoist Master with his "lips moving" truism? You know, like in "The truth that can be spoken is not True". Or, just some tricky fucker who conveniently manipulates his own thinking to always be ready for the "kill"? Like I said, if you're seeing the world as a lie, then, when in Rome.

In car sales the management will tell you that even if it's your own Grandma, you squeeze as much juice out of the deal as you can. A sale is a sale. And, have a "thick skin". Car sales is not for someone who can't deal with a "no". It is for someone who can bullshit his way out of any situation. Tricky mofos.

Speaking of juice. "Grape." A "grape" is a customer that just comes in and buys the vehicle at sticker price. Just like that. All the juice. I once sold a very expensive SUV to a lovely family from overseas. They paid full pop. It tore at me, since almost every customer — and this was in a very upscale town — would fight tooth and nail to squeeze the last nickel out of the deal. Humanity at its lowest. Not just the sales people; the  customers too. 

Sometimes during the middle of a deal a customer would call another dealership to compare prices. I kid you not. The art of the deal. My foot! So much bullshit to move some metal. 

One tactic I was in awe of was when a customer came in with a price from another dealer. Usually, scribbled on a slip of paper, and non-binding. Usually proffered with the question, "What would you say if I could sell you the vehicle for this price?" Notice, no commitment from the sales person. A true mutt of a customer will snatch that piece of paper and go off looking around town for an even better deal. That's what you call a "mutt". Mind you, on that slip of paper is a price which is well below invoice, the dealer's cost. An impossible price. 

That's called being put "On a Ball". The customer carries that tempting ball around trying to get an even lower price deal. Of course, they have to bring the ball back to where they got it. Usually after checking all over town and getting nowhere. Coming back with the erroneous assumption that they will get the vehicle for the "ball" price. No fuckin' way, Jose. 

The "out" when the customer comes back is to inform them that price was for buying the vehicle at the time they were first in the dealership. And, it was purely hypothetical anyway. "So how about we get you into a car or truck today with a deal that you'll be completely satisfied with?" Hopefully they're so worn down by then that you get them into a new negotiation. Mostly it's a grind. Think skin. Like the carny and his sucker. This is not a situation where there's room for a heart to heart relationship. If the customer thinks there is, they're dupes.

Negotiation. Haggling. What a game. It used to be from selling and buying horses. Each horse was an individual. Some better than others. Good horse traders knew from horses. There are things to dicker about. Cars, on the other hand, are pretty much identical. Okay, the sales comeback on that is that each is built individually. Kind of a philosophical gambit, like no two of anything are really ever alike. But, it did strike me as a carryover from horse and buggy days. The grinding negotiation to sell and buy a car. Or, truck.

There are all kinds of ways to structure a deal. Most people purchase with a loan. So instead of focusing on the selling price, you sell the monthly payment. Very tricky business there. You don't even know what it's gonna cost you. Just what you can afford. Vehicle prices are now so high, the days of a three year loan contract are long gone. Five years. Maybe more; I haven't checked.

Problem is with such long loan terms, if you want to trade in your vehicle, you could be "under water". That is, owing more on the original loan than what the damn buggy is worth. Oh, we can handle that! Just fold the balance of the loan payoff into the new sales contract. 

It doesn't end with the commitment to buy. There's "Aftermarket". You know, custom wheels, special doodads, truck bed liners. GPS. Undercoating. Special "Desert Package" paint protection. Lojack. Security code etched onto all the glass. A thick book of options are offered to the buyer in the second phase of the sale. At that stop there's a special separate dedicated sales person. Also, on commission. Better know what you want going in. 

Then, there's the money part. "The back end." In many of the sales in the competitive market I was working in, so many sales are "Mini's". That when all the gross profit is squeezed out, and the sales person gets a minimum guarantee. In my days, that was $100. For a half day of running your ass ragged to get their ass in the seat and off the lot. Can't make a living on Mini's. As a dealership, that is. So, there's the stop at "Finance".

"Finance" is where the payment takes place. Since most people are not paying in full cash, financing is the way it goes. The dealership will attempt to sell you on finding financing for you. Even if you have a preapproved loan, the dealership will always attempt to beat it. What the buyer will never know is what part of the percentage loan goes back to the dealership from the lender. If the lender offers say 5%, the finance desk will tack on some percentage more. That's what's called "making it up on the back end". Trouble is, that the sales person doesn't get in on that action. Trouble also is you get to pay more. Very tricky.  

Trade ins. This is where some real money gets made. A dealer will never give you more than what your vehicle is worth to dump at the auction. They may give you more, but that comes out of the gross profit margin on the new unit. If the trade in is saleable, it goes for sale on the used lot. Buyers of used cars and trucks will never know what the dealer has "in" the unit; what the dealer paid for the vehicle. Unlike for new, no rules for disclosure on used. 

This idea that you're gonna get "Blue Book" value for your trade is a myth. Blue Book is a general pricing estimate, and prices market to market for any particular vehicle vary considerably. Dealers don't give retail sales prices for trade ins. Plus, the sales person will use every trick in the book to devalue your trade. Sly gambit: while inspecting your beloved trade in, the sales person will notice a flaw, and simply point to it and give you a look. Just a flat withering look. Key word: "devalue".

I could write a book. But then, I'd have to do some heavy research. Selling is a big subject. If you've managed to get this far you should have a general idea that buying a car is a treacherous game. Myself, I'd be scared shitless to buy a new car. Even with some inside scoop experience. The guy who comes in to buy a car touting his own car sales experience is probably the biggest dupe of a buyer. You never outsmart the dealership sales process. Even when you think you did. Part of the art of the deal is to get you on the road in your new wheels fully satisfied that you got the best deal. There's no such thing.

By the way ... on this "I could write a book" This blog is my book. Wronski's Wramblings. 

Here's a link to the wondrous scope and breadth of all the excellence of it.