Saturday, April 06, 2024

Ghosting ... From Bree Jenkins, LMFT

From Bree Jenkins, LMFT ...

Ghosting is not a new term, but very common since the social media age. Hereโ€™s some food for thought about what it is, why people do it and how damaging it can be:

Ghosting is often seen as an immature or passive-aggressive way to end a relationship. In other instances, it may even be a form of emotional abuse.
There are two primary reasons why a person ghosts another, and often it's a combination of the two.

The first is that some find it's way easier (in the short-term, anyway) to ghost someone than to have an awkward, uncomfortable heart-to-heart about why youโ€™re not interested in maintaining contact.

The person doing the ghosting often wants to avoid confrontation or dealing with someone elseโ€™s hurt feelings, so they simply cease all communication and hope the hint is delivered.

As you can imagine (or know from personal experience), ghosting can have a real psychological impact on the person whoโ€™s being ghosted.

Itโ€™s almost like sudden loss [or] grief, especially the first time youโ€™ve ever been ghosted. You are shocked, and youโ€™re in denial, thinking things such as โ€˜maybe they didnโ€™t see my text.โ€™ Then you feel anger.

Jenkins adds, โ€œNext, the feelings of depression [can] kick in along with feelings of poor self-esteem as you mentally reexamine your relationship and last conversation for possible warning signs."

Ghosting is inherently ambiguous because there is a lack of explanation for why the relationship ended. For the person who has been ghosted, it can lead to significant feelings of rejection, guilt, grief, and shame.

A person who has been ghosted may be left wondering what this type of behavior says about them, but it is important to remember that ghosting says more about the person who cuts off contact than the person who is ghosted.


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