Sunday, October 30, 2016

Taxi Dave Ex-Wife


Of all the towns. Of all the cabs. Of all the cabs in all the towns, she had to get in mine ... the ex-wife.

"What's up?" I asked.

"You took me for a ride once, I figure another spin might do me some good," she said.

"But, why now?" I wondered aloud.

"Hair of the dog sort of thing, you know," was her come back. (Never shy with the come back, that one.)

I started with a dig into low gear. "Hope you'll get some satisfaction ... this time."

"Just what is that supposed to mean. Tell me!!!" was her shrill rejoinder as the tires screeched.

"Well, as I recall, your mother ... "

"That's so you!!! Don't go there!!!" she screamed interrupting me mid sentence..


And, off we went on our way. Down that same old road.

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Please enjoy the Halloween Spooky Story / 2016 ...

That House Next Door



That house next door was rather strange. Very. In the category of strange, this place had lots of it. A lot of strange. And, did I mention? It was next door!

For starters, you never saw anyone come or go from that house. The lights would go on at night ... most nights. The mail would collect on the porch in a huge pile, and every now and then it would mysteriously disappear. The lawn. Well, not exactly a lawn. Just a huge dense growth of Pitcher Plants and Venus Fly Traps. You know, those plants that feed on the insects they lure and capture. Lots of flesh eating plants. 

The back yard was demarked by a lattice fence of twigs bound together by long scraps of yarn. Colored yarn. Lots of colors. Actually, visually very nice to look at. But, if you got up close you could see a dense spider web in each square opening of that fence. With its own sentinel spider. Lots of spiders.




Obviously, there's more than a little something going on there that has to do with ... bugs. Lots of bugs.

Isn't there something in the lore about how witches use various insects in their spell potions? But, should the neighbors be worried? Nothing ever happens around that house. Rumors around town have been circulating for years. Wild imaginings.


Stories. Like ... Of little boys and girls disappearing on Halloween night Trick-or-Treating in the vicinity. Nothing ever proved. But still. There are stories. Lots of stories.


Anyhow, here's just one of the many stories that swirl around that house in that town. Like I said, there's lots of stories.


One autumnal moonlit night a stranger arrives by train and skulks in
to town. 



His name, Professor Drobkin. A medical doctor by training. A PhD in the rare science of Insectavora Associativa Halucanetica Confabulatorious Insistentatum Disorder; I.A.H.C.I.D. That acronym when pronounced quickly sounds like a crone sneezing. What, you ask, is I.A.H.C.I.D.? It's complicated. But, just to give a sense of it and get on with the story, it's about how come witches have such ugly noses. Who knew? And, you could rightly ask, who cares. One Professor Doctor Drobkin. That's who.

Here's the origin story ...

Dr. Drobkin had gotten his undergraduate degree, his medical degree, and his PhD in this very town. After that he was practicing as a research doctor at the highest level in New York.

The story tells how he wrote a significant article and had been invited to deliver his findings at a conference, which by coincidence was in his hometown. (This town.) He is called to the dais. The room is full of distinguished personages; the men wearing tuxedos, the women properly attired for such an august event. Dr. Drobkin approaches the dais and puts his papers on the lectern. As he’s about to give his talk, suddenly the papers all slide down to the floor. He bends over to pick them up, and as he does his tuckus is against the microphone. And at the very wrong moment, he lets one ride. It reverberates around the room, magnified by the microphone. 

F-A-A-A-A-A-R-R-R-R-T-T!!!

Somehow he regains his composure and delivers the paper. No sooner is he done but he grabs everything up and makes a quick exit through a rear door, totally embarrassed. And, vowing never to come back to the town again. 

Many years pass, his mother is on in years and he has to go back to town to care for her. He does so under the name Dr. Cohen. He makes a reservation at the local Hyatt under that name and gets there under cover of darkness. As he checks into the hotel, a bright eyed and bushy tailed room clerk says, “Good evening Dr. Cohen, welcome. Have you ever been to our town before?”

The doctor says, “Yes, as a matter of fact, young man, I grew up here and I got my education here; got my undergraduate, my doctorate, and my medical degrees at the university; and I moved away.”

The young man asks, “So why haven’t you been here for so long?”

“Well, a number of years ago a very embarrassing thing happened here, and I just didn’t feel I could come back and face the people in the town.”

The young man says, “Doctor, far be it for me, a young stripling, to advise a distinguished older gentleman such as you. But, if I can give you anything from my experience even in my own young life, things that I thought were embarrassing and people noticed, I later found out that nobody even knew that they happened. And I’m sure that’s probably true about the thing you think is so embarrassing.”

The doctor says, “No, I doubt that anyone has forgotten what happened.”

The young man says, “Well, was it a long time ago?”

“Yes, it was a very long time ago.”

 “Was it before the Drobkin fart? Or, after?”

True story. So you should know THAT house is where Mother Drobkin is living. From what was revealed earlier about that strange place, you should glean the moral of this story:

The Apple Doesn't Fall Far From the Tree.



Sunday, October 16, 2016

Not just for Buddhists. Universal ...


Knowing the way to liberate thoughts 
is the supreme form of action.


Yangthang Rinpoche 1923 - 2016

I, the one who bears the name of Yangthang Tulku, wrote this rather incoherent, disorganized text simply to avoid turning down the insistent request of Lama Tsewang, a Dharma friend from Riwoche in Kham. May it be a cause of benefitting a friend's practice!

Below sourced from: http://www.lotsawahouse.org/tibetan-masters/yangthang-rinpoche/view-meditation-action

A Brief Presentation of View, Meditation and Action
by Yangthang Rinpoche

Homage

Primordial protector, who remains forever within the single all-encompassing sphere of reality,
Lord who pervades all buddha families, Lama Vajradhara,
With complete reliance and fervent devotion, I pray to you one-pointedly:
Grant your blessings so that the wisdom-mind transmission may enter my heart!

Preliminaries

Now that you've gained the support of a human life, so hard to find,
Aroused a mind of renunciation, so difficult to develop,
Met an authentic master, so rarely encountered,
And taken up the sacred Dharma, so scarcely discovered,
Reflect, over and again, on the difficulty of finding
Such a physical support providing all the right conditions for practice.
If you fail to make use of the full human potential you now possess,
Which is impermanent like a candle in the wind,
Don't think that you can rely on it for a long time to come.
At death and in the bardos, lacking the confidence of liberation,
How frightening will be the next life’s sufferings!
When we must wander endlessly in saแนƒsฤra,
How distressing it is to contemplate its nature!
Whatever you can do to gain real confidence in this life,
I, for one, will be most grateful!
This is what I hope for you.

View

If you wish to look into the mirror of mind's nature,
Don't look outwards, but turn within.
Looking outwards brings perpetual delusion.
But look within and you'll see your own mind.
Don't follow past thoughts,
Nor anticipate thoughts to come,
And as for present thoughts and agitation,
As soon as you turn your mind inwards,
Don't try to adjust or modify it in the slightest,
But leave it, just as it is, totally free, in its own natural resting place.
Leaving thoughts in their natural place of rest like this
Is not the actual main practice, but simply the way to leave the mind.
Yet in that very experience of leaving the mind in this way
You're on the verge of meeting the rigpa of the main practice.
As soon as you leave the mind in its natural state,
Thoughts will naturally cease and be gone.
What is left when the natural radiance of thoughts has vanished,
Is the essence of mind, empty and vivid.
Free of fixation, dimension or limit,
There arises a space-like experience.
This is the empty essence, the dharmakฤya.
In this empty state,
The nature of the mind is clear and lucid —
Free of any actual characteristic one could point to,
It is the natural clarity of the mind, unrestrained and unimpeded.
Innately cognizant, it's the saแนƒbhogakฤya.
Besides this cognizant yet empty rigpa,
There is no other one that sees.
What is seen is the empty dharmakฤya,
And the one that sees it is cognizant wisdom,
These two can be referred to as ‘empty’ and ‘cognizant’,
Or as ‘all-pervading space’ and ‘wisdom.’
But they're not two different things:
The nature of that which is empty is clarity,
And the essence of that which is clear is empty.
Therefore, clarity and emptiness are an inseparable unity.
Since they're not different, but of a single taste,
There's no duality of something seen and one who sees it,
This is ‘seeing’ in a non-dual way.
Hence it is called ‘self-knowing rigpa.’
The mind sees itself by itself.
In the experience of the single taste of clarity and emptiness,
Good and bad — saแนƒsฤra and nirvฤแน‡a — are of equal taste.
Thus, ‘saแนƒsฤra and nirvฤแน‡a’ are not different.
This is the Great Perfection, Dzogpachenpo.
This Great Perfection,
When it is realized by anyone at all,
Brings impartial compassion
And unlimited pure perception —
Arising effortlessly and naturally in the mind.
This is all-pervading compassion, the nirmฤแน‡akฤya.
This, therefore, is the three-kฤya rigpa.
Decide that there is nothing else apart from this.
As long as you're undecided, you’ll be scattered
And never realize the nature of mind.
Decision must be made in certainty.
This is the view of the Great Perfection.

Meditation

Of the view, meditation and action, view is most important.
It's crucial that you realize the view without error,
For unless you realize the view, meditation will have no basis.
So you must realize the view directly, with no confusion.
And then, when taking this to heart through meditation,
To abide in the experience of the view that you have recognized,
For longer and longer periods, through perseverance, is meditation.
Other than this, there's nothing else on which to meditate.
Furthermore, until you perfect the view,
Don't count your practice in years or months,
But decide to dedicate the whole remainder of your life to Dharma practice.
This is the approach of the very best practitioners.
If from the start you talk about simplicity, equality and the like,
But instead of practicing in sessions remain completely lax,
Acting out whatever comes to mind, whether eating, sitting, indulging yourself or lying about,
In the end, there's a great danger your simplicity will prove futile,
And when death comes, all will have been in vain.
Meaningless talk and boasting are useless,
So you should follow in the footsteps of the great ones,
And be humble, a genuine Dharma practitioner in word and deed.
It would be best to go to deserted mountains,
But, otherwise, stay away from busy places.
Having divided your time into sessions and periods in-between.
Practise meditation formally, and abandon the nine forms of activity.
Without being outwardly distracted or inwardly grasping,
Settle evenly into an experience of the natural resting place of mind.
No matter what appears to the five senses,
Let it be like stars or planets reflected in the surface of a lake,
And rest evenly in the natural expanse, without grasping
And without the slightest reference point — this is the supreme meditation.
Although this may be difficult in the beginning,
With gradual training, it will progressively unfold.
In post-meditation, train in emptiness and compassion,
Seeing things as magical illusions or dreamlike.
Exert yourself as much as you can in the Dharma practices that purify obscurations.
And, in particular, it's crucial to merge the view from the time of meditation
With whatever thoughts arise, in order to unite meditation and post-meditation.
Distinguish between the all-ground and dharmakฤya, mind and rigpa.
Recognize qualities and faults such as the three forms of erring, straying and being mistaken,
And make adopting qualities and avoiding faults the very heart of your practice.
This is what to do during the post-meditation.
When you strive in such practice for a long time,
All the experiences of bliss, clarity and emptiness will occur.
But no matter what arises, don't fixate on the constant flow of perceptions,
But resolve them with the view, and maintain the flow of practice in the natural resting place of mind.
Progressively, positive experiences will increase, and bad signs disappear.
In each session, first arouse the mind of enlightenment,
And receive the four empowerments of guru yoga.
At the end, seal the session with dedication and aspiration prayers.
Since these provide the structure of meditation practice, they're indispensable.
In particular, the practice of Guru Yoga
Is the ultimate means of arriving at the state of non-meditation.
So, until your own rigpa dawns directly as the lama,
Since this is the main form of meditation practice, cherish it as crucial!
If you can practise like this in four sessions each and every day,
Constantly and without wavering,
You’ll perfect the various stages, such as the five experiences Vimalamitra taught,[1]   And in the original resting place,
You’ll seize the citadel — of this you must have no doubt!
Even if you can't manage this, and you practise these instructions with only moderate effort,
Listening to and reflecting upon the teachings to a certain extent,
Attachment to the eight worldly concerns will weaken,
And you’ll spend your life carefree, contented and at ease.
From your very first step on the path it won't take long
Before you're liberated in primordial omniscience — this is certain!

Action

Then, to touch briefly upon action:
When you're resting in meditation in this way
And a new thought arises all of a sudden
Or the undercurrent of thoughts churns away,
Rising thoughts are seen from the experience of your own rigpa.
Don't follow them, considering them good or bad, pleasant or suffering.
Don't do anything, in fact. But, as soon as you see the rising,
Within the rising itself, let mind find its own natural place of rest.
By leaving mind in its own place, thoughts will disappear there and then,
And you'll arrive directly at rigpa once again.
Then, as before, maintain the practice of mind’s own place of rest.
In this way, whenever any good or bad thought should arise
Don't grasp onto it, but allow it to be freed as it arises.
There are three ways in which thoughts are liberated,
But there's really no difference between them — they're all 'self-arising, self-liberation'.
When a thought appears, it comes from the expanse of dharmakฤya,
And when a thought goes, it ceases within rigpa's expanse.
Risings are harmless if you know how to let them liberate naturally.
This is the special instruction to enhance the view.
If you exert yourself in this, you’ll have fewer thoughts,
And their arising will not harm the ground,
And the three ways of liberating — lesser, middling and greater — will unfold progressively.
But without these key points of liberation,
The final attainment of freedom will never come.
Knowing the way to liberate thoughts is the supreme form of action.
The fruition of such practice is that
Destructive emotions and thoughts will weaken,
Attachment to the eight worldly concerns will diminish,
Devotion and pure perception will steadily increase,
You’ll recognize dreams, clear light will arise, and so on —
These are authentic fruits of the path.
Otherwise, to have visions of deities, receive prophecies,
Gain clairvoyance and the like may or may not be the fruit of the path,
Whether good or bad, we can't say, for it could all be the deception of Mฤra,
So don't wait, but immediately put them aside.
Finally, at death or in the bardo of dharmatฤ,
Recognize the ground appearances, and, in that very ground,
Having seized the citadel, you're certain to gain liberation!
I have written this brief presentation of View, Meditation and Action,
Merely as a response to a friend’s request which I couldn't refuse —
A rather hypocritical endeavor for one who knows nothing of what is here described,
And one which will undoubtedly produce many errors.
Be sure, therefore, to ask others to clarify your every doubt.
In the unlikely event that this does contain one or two points of value,
I dedicate the merit so they may be a cause for my friend’s practice to grow in strength,
And for it to be accomplished completely,
So that he may be liberated in the expanse of the primordial ground.
In short, I pray for the accomplishment of the twofold benefit.
I, the one who bears the name of Yangthang Tulku, wrote this rather incoherent, disorganized text simply to avoid turning down the insistent request of Lama Tsewang, a Dharma friend from Riwoche in Kham. May it be a cause of benefitting a friend's practice!
| Rigpa Translations, 2013. Edited for Lotsawa House, 2016

  1. The five stages are: 1) movement, 2) attainment, 3) familiarity, 4) stability and 5) consummation.


Saturday, October 15, 2016

Choice 2016

Teaching the Zen of Crossing the Street

Driving around town I see parents crossing streets with their children. Mostly it's the parent(s) looking out for traffic with the kids in tow; the little ones are most often oblivious, clueless and not all engaged in the process. Notably, once recently, I saw a father coaching his son about how to cross the street. Both the father and the boy were looking both ways. And paying attention while crossing. I almost never see that.

When I walked my own small ones to school, at every intersection we stopped and I instructed them to look for cars. This was in Park Slope, Brooklyn where streets were one-way. I even stressed that they should look each way even on those one-way streets. And, to look for cars possibly turning into the street. Don't assume. (By the way, it was quite the emotional day for me that time when I finally let them go off on their own to school. But, they were trained well.)

So ... how about training the kids from the time they can walk with you crossing streets? 

To do, what ...
STOP

LOOK

LISTEN

And, pay attention to the street situation while crossing.


Let me hear some Amen's!

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Taxi Dave Devil

He made quite an impression. Quoting Beelzebub with his blistering breath verbatim, that doyen of the deepest dark, that ruler and dean of the most dastardly cohorts of depravity, that prince of all that blasphemes the every smallest good thing . . . 

This is what he said: 


"You want to know what hell is? I'll tell you, boy!" 


"Hell is a place where NOBODY knows your name, or gives a good f**k anyway. And, where EVERYBODY you see has YOUR FACE." 


"Holy Cow!" I blurted out. 


And then this capper comes from Satan's hot lips, "That's right, Sonny. And, that's on a GOOD day!"


"Gee wiz!" I nervously murmured.


"And . . . Now YOU belong to ME!!!" demanded Satan with all the haughty confidence only such a damnable deceiver could muster.


I am anything if not on my toes.  And, not to be trifled or messed with. 


I yelled right back, "Get out of my cab you damned, melodramatic red mother f**ker!!! I have a choice where my soul's concerned. Now get!!! 


Yelling at him as he beat his hasty retreat: "TIPSCH PSA CREF HOLETTA, YASNI PIORUN CHAZ. GODDAM SONOFABITCH!!!" (That there is an old world, full blooded expletive which is in fact so rude no one fluent in the Polish tongue even knows what it means.)

Tuesday, October 11, 2016

#CandidateDrugTest


I've been hearing ...

And, wondering why this hasn't become a thing in the 2016 election. Heck, in all elections. A simple drug test.

Just like what any poor schlep has to pass even to get a job cleaning the toilets at Walmart.

Here we've seen candidate Trump sniffing rather noticeably and often at the first two debates. People have even speculated on the record that this might be evidence of cocaine. One, in fact, that the constant sniffling is definitively indicative of the drug.

I don't know if it is, or if it isn't. Just that don't we as informed voters deserve such an assurance about our governmental servants? 

And, doesn't Mr. Trump deserve to have this put to him also as comeuppance for his ongoing tactic of saying things like "People are saying", and therefore feels that whatever dirt he is promoting be cleared up by the accused. The Obama birther thing is a pretty definitive example.

Also, I have some history with druggies. Once I was helping a friend manage her hotel in South Beach, Miami. A shady young couple were residents. She danced at the Pink Pussycat, and in all likelihood turned tricks upstairs at the hotel. He was her boyfriend and pimp. They were typically late with the rent and I confronted the fellow finally about it in the hotel lobby.

As he was giving his list of excuses he tossed the butt of his filter tip cigarette into the potted plant. I told him that wasn't something to do. On a dime he casually stated that it was good for the plant.

Later, when they completely skipped on the rent, we had the police open the apartment to find the makings for crack. They reappeared a few days later demanding that we turn over their belongings which we had cleared out. Demanded. And, offended. 

That's druggies for you. Chronic and, expert liars.

Then I think about how Mr. Trump can recast his discussion about how you can grope women if you're a star. As ... locker room banter. Granted he didn't come out and say that he was a star. Or, that he in fact gropes — groped — women. In a court of law he would probably walk. He does have the knack of speaking with deniability. Which is what we are all probably all too fed up with in our politicians anyway. 

Yet, obviously he lives in a world were that sort of behavior is probable. A world where hitting on women is just part of the transaction. It seems to have been overlooked that he also has a history of making passes at married women. Speaks to me of his disrespect for the husbands as well. 

Mr. Trump ... take the test!


Friday, October 07, 2016

Taxi Dave 2016 Drobkin Fart

You hear some fantastic stories in my line of work. 

Take, for example, the miserable tale of a one Dr. Drobkin.

Dr. Drobkin is a world famous authority in a highly specialized field of cardiology. He had received his undergraduate degree, his medical degree, and his PhD in his hometown. After that he was practicing as a research doctor at the highest level in New York.

A while ago he wrote a significant paper and had been invited to deliver the paper at a conference, which by coincidence was in his hometown. 

He is called to the dais. The room is full of distinguished personages; the men wearing tuxedos, the women properly attired for such an august event. Dr. Dropkin approaches the dais and puts his papers on the lectern. As he’s about to give his talk, suddenly the papers all slide down to the floor. He bends over to pick them up, and as he does his tuckus is against the microphone. And at the very wrong moment, he lets one ride. It reverberates around the room, magnified by the microphone.

Somehow he regains his composure and delivers the paper. No sooner is he done but he grabs everything up and makes a quick exit through a rear door, vowing never to come back to the town again.

Many years pass, his mother is on in years and he has to go back to town to care for her. He does so under the name Dr. Cohen. He makes a reservation at the local Hyatt under that name and gets there under cover of darkness. As he checks into the hotel, a bright eyed and bushy tailed room clerk says, “Good evening Dr. Cohen, have you ever been in our town before?”

The doctor says, “Yes, as a matter of fact, young man, I grew up here and I got my education here; got my undergraduate, my doctorate, and my medical degrees at the university and I moved away.”

The young man asks, “So why haven’t you been here for so long?”

“Well, a number of years ago a very embarrassing thing happened here, and I just didn’t feel I could come back and face the people in the town.”

The young man says, “Doctor, far be it for me, a young stripling, to advise a distinguished older gentleman such as you. But, if I can give you anything from my experience in my young life, things that I thought were embarrassing and people noticed, I later found out that nobody even knew that they happened. And I’m sure that’s probably true about the thing you think is so embarrassing.”

The doctor says, “No, I doubt that anyone has forgotten what happened.”

The young man says, “Well, was it a long time ago?”

“Yes, it was a very long time ago.”


 “Was it before the Drobkin fart, or after?”

CLICK to see all the other passengers.
Taxi Dave Norm MacDonald


Often I get into conversations with my passengers. Some truly intimate, heart wrenching stories ...

"My wife is in a coma."

Me: "So sad to hear that."

"Then the doctor tells me ..."There's one way to wake her up, but it's a little unconventional. You go in there and you have oral sex with her. I've seen it work."

So I go in there and come out after about 5 minutes.

"Doc, she's choking."

Thursday, October 06, 2016

Mr. Richard Simmons


My favorite movie star!

I worked at a once famous New York City toy and gift store called Johnny Jupiter. Fun stuff. And, a fun experience. I worked the cash register, and bantered with the customers. Many celebrities.

One very recognizable celebrity was America’s Fitness Guru Himself, the ever electric Mr. Richard Simmons. He is my very most favorite movie star! Ever! And, I never missed an opportunity to say so. Always loudly so the exaggeration was heard by everyone in the store. 

When he was in town he would often come in and load up on gifts. He always created a big stir with the customers. I liked to tease him. Sort of like Dave Letterman when they were on speaking terms. (Lover’s quarrel?) 

Even in the winter time Richard would emerge from his car with a glittery sports tank top covering up some very short shorts. Very! I had to ask on more than one occasion if he was wearing anything at all under that tank top? 

He was always more than happy to interact with the customers. “Mr. Simmons, are you available for autographs?” “Why, yes, I am.” Then I announced in a raised voice — you should know the shop was very, very small — “Attention shoppers, Mr. Richard Simmons will autograph your shopping bag.” 

He was beaming. 

Then I added “… with every $50 purchase.” 

He froze, hands on hips, with the evil eye for me. Yet, it was for laffs. He was hip to it.

PS Today is July 13, 2024 and I'm adding this in tribute to his passing today. RIP, Richard.

Once, as I was handing him his credit card back he clasped my hands and said, "I want you!" I said, "Richard, we'll dance in our hearts!"

I know souls are connected. I don't know if time and circumstance make much of a difference. That is, is any connection stronger than others? Maybe in the immagination only. Isn't it so that God is One? Then, this separation thing that appears to our senses is only an illusion. Like the Sun going down is on account of the world spinning round. 

A connection, is a connection. Howsoever you want to parse it. 

Today in my dancing heart I'll think of Richard Simmons. 


Sunday, October 02, 2016

Taxi Dave 2016 All Entries
TAXI DAVE 2016




"Hey, YOU! VOTE! [FOR ME!]"

What to do when you don't approve either candidate's message?


They said they wanted to "go to town". It was a figure of speech. 


Seems to be feelin' the Bern.


Quite a story. CLICK to read.


Man of mystery. Felt like we were being followed.


You just have accommodate a friend.


We made record time. I ate it all up cleaning the back. He sheds.


"Take me to Trump Tower. Make it snappy." Shall I take the bridge?


There you go whipping out that Mexican thing again!


Immersed in popular culture. Not something to take pride in.


He said he was going to "entertain" at a kid's birthday party.


Enough with the Cowbell already!


"Life is a carousel. And the sun is a scoop of ice cream"


Often I get into conversations with my passengers. Some truly intimate, heart wrenching stories ...

"My wife is in a coma."

Me: "So sad to hear that."

"Then the doctor tells me ..."There's one way to wake her up, but it's a little unconventional. You go in there and you have oral sex with her. I've seen it work."

So I go in there and come out after about 5 minutes.

"Doc, she's choking."


You hear some pretty fantastic stories in my line of work. 




Trust me. He's really not all that interesting.


Hey, Now!


It was a bumpy, curvy ride. I didn't complain.


"Wherever" isn't much for the driver to go on.


Well, he sure knows how to grab a pussy!


He wanted to go to the Village. I took him. You're Welcome, world.


Even Donald didn't want to grab this pussy!


So, you've been Trumped!



"I 'boned' Donald Trump!"


He has his hand up my tailpipe!



"I don't wear it in public. Or, when I'm being recorded." 

(Opps! I had the dashcam still turned on!)



Upon more than an occasion I see some action from "THAT" part of town. 


He said his name was David S. Pumpkins. Look him up.




They had a "Green Party" going on back there!



We got a flat. He fixed it.


Didn't give me much to go on. Just, away from the nihilists!


Bad Hombre.


His ball shined like "Cats Nuts". Not the sort to mess with though.


The night of the revenge of the consumer icons.


Of all the towns. Of all the cabs. Of all the cabs in all the towns, she had to get in mine ... the ex-wife.

"What's up?" I asked.

"You took me for a ride once, I figure another spin might do me some good," she said.

"But, why now?" I wondered aloud.

"Hair of the dog sort of thing, you know," was her come back. (Never shy with the come back, that one.)

I started with a dig into low gear. "Hope you'll get some satisfaction ... this time."

"Just what is that supposed to mean. Tell me!!!" was her shrill rejoinder as the tires screeched.

"Well, as I recall, your mother ... "

"That's so you!!! Don't go there!!!" she screamed interrupting me mid sentence..

And, off we went on our way. Down that same old road.



He was quite distraught. (He and Angie are kaput, you might have heard.) 

To cheer him up I used that old one, "There are plenty more fish in the sea". 

He said, "Yah, but it's not just the smell I miss."


"Take me anywhere in the world. Just, not west."


The whole ride he murmured quietly to himself ...  
"Damned if you do, damned if you don't."


I asked, "So, doll face, were'd you get that necklace?"
"I have a connection at the Montclair Farmers Market."



_____________________________














Taxi Dave Norm MacDonald