The Complete Taxi Dave 2016 
TAXI DAVE 2016




"Hey, YOU! VOTE! [FOR ME!]"

What to do when you don't approve either candidate's message?


They said they wanted to "go to town". It was a figure of speech. 


Seems to be feelin' the Bern.


Quite a story. CLICK to read.


Man of mystery. Felt like we were being followed.


You just have accommodate a friend.


We made record time. I ate it all up cleaning the back. He sheds.


"Take me to Trump Tower. Make it snappy." Shall I take the bridge.


There you go whipping out that Mexican thing again!


Immersed in popular culture. Not something to take pride in.


He said he was going to "entertain" at a kid's birthday party.


Enough with the Cowbell already!


"Life is a carousel. And the sun is a scoop of ice cream"


Often I get into conversations with my passengers. Some truly intimate, heart wrenching stories ...

"My wife is in a coma."

Me: "So sad to hear that."

"Then the doctor tells me ..."There's one way to wake her up, but it's a little unconventional. You go in there and you have oral sex with her. I've seen it work."

So I go in there and come out after about 5 minutes.

"Doc, she's choking."


You hear some pretty fantastic stories in my line of work. 




Trust me. He's really not all that interesting.


Hey, Now!


It was a bumpy, curvy ride. I didn't complain.


"Wherever" isn't much for the driver to go on.


Well, he sure knows how to grab a pussy!


He wanted to go to the Village. I took him. You're Welcome, world.


Even Donald didn't want to grab this pussy!


So, you've been Trumped!



"I 'boned' Donald Trump!"


He has his hand up my tailpipe!



"I don't wear it in public. Or, when I'm being recorded." 

(Opps! I had the dashcam still turned on!)



Upon more than an occasion I see some action from "THAT" part of town. 


He said his name was David S. Pumpkins. Look him up.




They had a "Green Party" going on back there!



We got a flat. He fixed it.


Didn't give me much to go on. Just, away from the nihilists!


Bad Hombre.


His ball shined like "Cats Nuts". Not the sort to mess with though.


The night of the revenge of the consumer icons.


Of all the towns. Of all the cabs. Of all the cabs in all the towns, she had to get in mine ... the ex-wife.


"What's up?" I asked.


"You took me for a ride once, I figure another spin might do me some good," she said.


"But, why now?" I wondered aloud.


"Hair of the dog sort of thing, you know," was her come back. (Never shy with the come back, that one.)


I started with a dig into low gear. "Hope you'll get some satisfaction ... this time."


"Just what is that supposed to mean. Tell me!!!" was her shrill rejoinder as the tires screeched.


"Well, as I recall, your mother ... "


"That's so you!!! Don't go there!!!" she screamed interrupting me mid sentence..


And, off we went on our way. Down that same old road.




He was quite distraught. (He and Angie are kaput, you might have heard.) 

To cheer him up I used that old one, "There are plenty more fish in the sea". 

He said, "Yah, but it's not just the smell I miss."


"Take me anywhere in the world. Just, not west."


The whole ride he murmured quietly to himself ...  
"Damned if you do, damned if you don't."


I asked, "So, doll face, were'd you get that necklace?"
"I have a connection at the Montclair Farmers Market."



_____________________________














Taxi Dave Norm MacDonald

No comments: